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Teachers with young children.

67 replies

Poetryinaction · 22/09/2019 14:11

Hi. I am part time in secondary and my kids are aged 5, 3 and 1. I am really struggling to keep on top of everything this year, as I am working 0.64 across 7 days a fortnight. I have to run off at the end of the working day to get the kids, and they are very demanding until at least 8pm, often later. Then I am trying to cook, clean, life admin, keep fit?? I am finding all the extra demands (getting the classroom ready for Open Evening/ being a tutor etc etc) really hard to fit in. I have a pile of marking to do this weekend and no energy or enthusiasm. I feel like I'm failing, when actually I am doing my best every minute I'm at work.
Does anyone else feel the same? Can you only be a good, well prepared teacher if you don't have kids? That's not right is it?

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eggofmantumbi · 16/10/2019 06:29

The thing I struggle with at the moment too is the evening requirements. I don't have much support nearby so finding childcare for all of the parents evenings etc is so tough!

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elleton · 06/10/2019 21:08

I'm a secondary RQT and currently on maternity leave with my first child. I'm already worried about how I'm going to cope with the workload as well as wanting to spend time with my partner and son.

I used to work from 7-6 on weekdays and a full day on the weekend but there's no way I can keep this up when I return to school.

Also there are very few mothers in the very large department I work in so family friendly considerations aren't always made.

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Eemamc · 05/10/2019 14:36

I’m in a secondary SEMH with an almost 2 year old and another one on the way. On a 0.6. Yes, it’s tough, but something has to give. Simply, i’m Just not as good a teacher as I was before I had my daughter, and that’s fine. I’m still good, I just do what I really need to do and no extras. I just physically can’t give more without sacrificing time with my daughter (not that I could get anything done when she’s awake during the day anyway) I say no a lot more. I have an incredibly supportive husband, who arguably does more than my share of the housework... but he’s not growing a human inside him so I say that’s fair! As to your husband not agreeing to a cleaner... what is his reasoning? If he is willing to do the equivalent then that’s fine, if he expects you to, then I think you might need to insist...that might be the thing that needs to give. Good luck

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stoplickingthetelly · 04/10/2019 22:08

I’m a secondary subject leader and work 3 days a week, but I share the subject leader part of my job with someone else in the dept (50/50 split). Dh is a primary deputy head. Our children are 7 and 4. Things that help are after school club and linger days at childminders so I can stay in work at the end of the day. One day I have to leave at 4:45, but the other 2 days I can stay until at least 6. I think you would find things a bit easier if you didn’t need to rush off at the end of the day. Dh and I both work in schools near our home so we don’t have long commutes which also helps. On my 2 days off dd goes to nursery in the morning so I get a few hours to do household type jobs. I don’t manage to exercise though and our diet is hit and miss depending on how busy we are. I’ve been teaching 13 years and work as hard as I can on my working days, very rarely go in the staff room etc, but I also have the view that you can only do so much and I’m not going to kill myself. If it’s not done, it’s not done.

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Its2oclockinthemorning · 04/10/2019 18:52

It’s doable. Full time and two under 7s. I have been teaching 10 years so that helps. House is a mess, we eat rubbish, time for the gym??? Hahahah! Husband a teacher too. We work every evening. No respite teen time but it is doable. It’s helpful if your department is full of working parents too

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Yorkiedodah · 04/10/2019 04:39

I can so relate to this, have 2dc 1dd 5, and 1ds 2. I work full time, I'm a single mum. Heavily reliant on wrap around care and nursery. With no family support where I am, I've had to pay my way in order to keep my sanity. I'd love a gym membership too!
I have a cleaner and no longer stress about the house, get ironing done via payment, online shopping to ease that whole process too. When the kids have been ill, it's been me taking time off. Whole class feedback, peer marking etc very important for me. I still love my job, I'm finally at a great school!

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Phineyj · 03/10/2019 21:48

But people in other types of professional job don't do the hours that their contract says either. When I had a full time marketing job my contract said 9.30 to 5.30 I think, but it would have been almost impossible to do the job in 40 hours a week and there were some evenings and weekends required (no extra pay). We did have holiday, of course, but it was frowned on to take more than a week at a time. I'm not saying teaching hours are reasonable at all but there are certainly other jobs where 40 or 50 hours a week and taking work home isn't unusual. The UK has a long hours culture, especially the south east.

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HappyHolidays75 · 03/10/2019 19:51

That's crazy! I do get the full time allowance (1hr a week - ha ha) but paid 0.66 this year as they dropped my teaching hours (over-recruited).
Whenever I question it, I get pay and conditions quoted at me. I'd love someone higher up to even acknowledge the injustice even if they wont change it.

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littlemissy12345 · 03/10/2019 19:05

@HappyHolidays75 I only get 0.8 of the TLR money but do all the job. Thing that really annoys me is I only get 0.8 for the time allocated too. Grrrrr.

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HappyHolidays75 · 03/10/2019 18:56

@littlemissy12345
Out of interest, do you get 0.8 or all of the tlr? I'm part time hod too but get pro rata (and do all the work or course).

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AmICrazyorWhat2 · 03/10/2019 18:13

Your DH "not agreeing" to a cleaner is ridiculous, you want to make the most of your time and if a cleaner would help you do that, get one!

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Grasspigeons · 03/10/2019 18:11

You dont need permission for a cleaner! and a few extra hours childcare is expensive short term but might keep your sanity and you in a job longer term. But im not denying its tough and you have a tough job.

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littlemissy12345 · 03/10/2019 18:05

Feeling a little better here this year. I'm on 0.8 as a HOF - slt wouldn't let me do it on less. I've got a 4 and 8 year old, so both in school now and I've taken the part time hours as a whole day. Last year I had 3 x 2 periods off, which was great to do pick up stuff but I was going crazy, no time after school for work or at lunch time. This year I get home in time for swimming lessons etc, can do a pick up and drop off once a week and can spend an hour or so at school most nights. My 6 hours when the kids are in school helps with food prep, exercise and work catch up (when necessary). It does get easier as they get older if you've got good wrap around care.

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WelshMoth · 02/10/2019 19:16

Treading water here too.
DD's are slightly older now but there are more clubs to attend in the evenings. I do LOTS of work in my car while I wait.

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HappyHolidays75 · 02/10/2019 18:26

@phineyj
60 hours a week x 40 weeks = 2400 hours
÷52 weeks = 46 hrs per week for a whole year. So way more than a normal week and no holiday effectively.

I'm not sure anyone claims to work all the holidays, most people will do some though.

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Phineyj · 02/10/2019 07:39

I'm interested in what the PP said about 1 day = 12 hours as I've found that exactly correct. After having struggled on post-baby for 4 years on a 0.8 and then FT, I cut back a couple of years ago to 0.5 (now 0.6). So now I do 36 hours (ish) over Mon-Fri and Sunday evening usually, much of it at home. As others have said, the flexibility of not having to be in school early to late is (just about) worth the pay cut. I was offered FT again this year. I said no.

I suppose the other thing to bear in mind is that 60 hours term time only is roughly equivalent to 40 year-round. There are teachers on here who claim to work all the holidays on planning etc but personally I've never done more than a few days here and there.

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Scatterbrainbox · 30/09/2019 09:30

I have 3 dc, I only managed to keep teaching part time when they were little by having some childcare on my days off, doing my planning and paperwork then, so that I had some time with the kids in the evening and the chance for an early night. It's not right that I had to do that but that alternative would have been me going under with stress. I also stopped worrying about be anything other than 'good enough' at work. Again not ideal, but you have to survive!!
I found it much easier once they were all at a primary school with good wraparound care, but finding it very hard now that the eldest (soon to be followed by number 2) are at high school with no childcare provision. I almost left teaching after working for a nightmare head, but went on supply and found myself in a much nicer school where I stayed. The difference in workload between different schools was unbelievable.

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Atropa · 28/09/2019 08:21

I only manage, because I refuse to work in the evenings now. I may read emails and respond to any urgent ones at my convenience and I may do an hour or two at the weekend planning, but I am at work between 7 and 5 during the week and doing 50 hours when paid for 35 is what I consider any "reasonable" time on top of my directed hours.

Do I meet every deadline? No. I do what I consider necessary to teach and assess my students and support those with extra needs where I can. Pointless paperwork can and does wait until the rare occasion I have some extra time or I actually get asked for it (even rarer).

I also use my students in form time to sort out displays, do errands like taking recycling and delivering messages or get paper/ pens/ books from resources. They love it, because it gets them out of pointless morning tasks.

We have to supervise our own detentions, so the kids there get to tidy up, sharpen pencils, cut out card sorts, stick sheets in or whatever else helps me as a "restorative justice" task.

Marking is done on exam questions only and I can mark those during break/ lunch or during independent tasks. I use stamps during lessons to show I have looked at the rest of the work and to show I have acknowledged any responses to marking - the kids often hand their books to me open on the day's page before they go in book boxes, so I can do it there and then.

Anything else, like data entry on books is done in lesson time - I don't waste my own time to do that.

It takes a "fuck-it" attitude to a lot of things to manage with young children. I am full-time in a shortage subject with a substantial TLR (one extra free a fortnight for the money) and with an autistic teen and a toddler at home.

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likeafishneedsabike · 23/09/2019 22:10

I totally and utterly agree that a 36 hour week shouldn’t be deemed ‘part time’. That said, I’m very glad that on the vast majority of school days I can pick up my own kids at 4.30. Yes, I work very hard on my unpaid days but on the other hand at least I don’t have to stay at work on my paid days until 5.30pm. I mean, plenty of families get in from after school care at 6pm and survive, but it feels fortunate to get home earlier with the options that brings. The way I see it, fitting in work at other random times is the price paid for that.

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BackforGood · 23/09/2019 21:00

Yes @parrotonmyshoulder that is the problem.

When I was teaching, I would work around about 12hours per day worked, each week (ie, when I worked FT, I worked about 60hours a week, when I work 3 days a week I would work around 36 hours a week). When I was 'young, free and single' then I could fit those hours in more easily - sometimes working all day Sunday, sometimes working late into the night, and different patterns around other things I was doing, but once you have small children, then obviously you not only have much more to do in life, and you are doing it on broken sleep, but you lose flexibility about when you can do it. But you can't afford to turn up without having prepared your lessons - there's no option to say "stuff it" tonight, I'll catch up next week, or whatever.

I remember phoning for an insurance thing once, and going through the whole 'What do you do / are you FT or PT / how many hours do you work' type info and the bloke on the other end of the line couldn't get his head round the concept that 35 - 36 hours per week only elicited a PT salary.

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Poetryinaction · 23/09/2019 20:01

Agreed. Plus, I don't want to wish away their babyhood for a time I can work harder.I just want to feel less stressed.

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parrotonmyshoulder · 23/09/2019 19:52

But surely this is the problem:

‘Once the little ones are in school (or if you can afford an extra day at Nursery now?) then you use those hours for all your prep and pointless paperwork, and it frees up evenings and weekends’

Those hours shouldn’t be spent working. These women are part time!

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Poetryinaction · 23/09/2019 19:45

Me too dippy!

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Poetryinaction · 23/09/2019 19:44

Bless you Twinkle sleeping with your dd. I would find full time so hard, though I did do 0.84 and HOD when my eldest was a baby.

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DippyAvocado · 23/09/2019 19:39

Without that, I wouldnt be sleeping enough and certainly not exercising or relaxing. Ever!

You have just described my life!

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