Jehova Witnesses / birthdays?

[Glitterkitten24]

Sorry for asking work questions during holidays - Scottish schools are back this week so end of hols for me I’m afraid!

NQT looking for some advice.
I have a class with several JW children this year. I planned to make birthday cards and planned to celebrate birthdays in class (just with a card/ song) before realising that the JW children can’t join in.

Did you just ignore birthdays altogether?
Is there a work round I am missing?

[Pumpkinsarepurple]

Autumn term in a minefield to navigate if you have Witnesses in your class, Harvest Festival, Bonfire Night, Remembrance and then Christmas are all events that you will have to plan alternative activities for the children.

In my experience birthdays are the least difficult to navigate.

Also check your topics, aliens and witches and anything magical are all problematic.

Definitely speak with the parents to find out how they would like different things approached, I'm sure they would appreciate it.

[NCTDN]

@catsinahuffagain do you mind me asking how this has affected your views on religion?

[catsinahuffagain]

Another one who thinks just don't do it...I was a JW growing up, and even the friendship cards make you feel so excluded and different. Each time I was left out of something it made me a little bit sadder, even though I tried to tell myself otherwise. As an adult I reflect and wish I could give my younger self a hug.

[Chocolateandcarbs]

Instead of cards in a class with a variety of religions we’d make a name poem that we created as a class for each pupil at some point over the term e.g. Lily might be Loves being a good friend
Is amazing at PE
Lights up the room
You’re always positive
(It whatever the class came up with)

[Kuponut]

Really the best thing to do is take a lead from the previous class teacher and be open to talking with the families. I was you once and got myself tied up in worries about doing the right thing - and actually it wasn't the issue I'd worked myself up to.

The child I taught was a bit older (Y4 age) and the kids had grown up with him so were very used to working around the issues he had with birthday celebrations etc - to the point where, whenever he helpfully offered to explain to someone new why he didn't celebrate them, the class would groan about "oh no not again" as they'd heard it so many times (not maliciously - just in the spirit of good natured ribbing among friends). He was also incredibly good at finding loopholes to ensure that he got sweets and things when they came into school - so I brought something deliberately non-seasonal like Freddos in for the end of term coming up to Easter and he decided to announce he'd have one to celebrate "the end of another term done" and make sure he didn't miss out on chocolate!

Think (it's a fair few years ago now so memory's hazy) the arrangement the JW families had with the school was that the school would confine all the Christmas stuff to the very final week of term and they'd stay off school that week - so the rest of the school still got all the festive stuff, but the JW children weren't placed in that situation.

The family were very obliging and as long as they knew that I was trying to abide by their wishes and do the right thing - they were very willing to engage, explain and advise.

[Corneliawildthing]

I worked in a small school with a lot of JW pupils. It was the custom to sing Happy Birthday to pupils so the JW kids put their hands over their ears.
We ended up doing a winter end of term type concert to accommodate them instead of a nativity and the vicar gave a little talk at the end whereupon all the JW parents walked out.

[PutYourBackIntoit]

Please don't do this!
I grew up excluded from birthday and Christmas celebrations, but at least birthdays were just out of school celebrations that I didn't always know I was missing out on. Imagine having 30 birthday days in a year to feel excluded from each year! Even though you're bring thoughtful with friendship cards....kids see through it and still feel different.

Instead, if you want to do something special for the children, my kids teachers write them a postcard in the summer. They love recieving them!

[TokenGinger]

Do you need to do birthday things at all? It's a bit shit for those with August birthdays, or any dates that are normally in a school holiday

I completely agree. As an August baby, I always missed out on the birthday activities. I longed so much to be able to bring in a bag of lollies for my classmates and have happy birthday sung to me.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

I would skip birthdays completely to be honest. As has been said the children in the holidays are nearly always forgotten about, especially anyone at the start of September before term starts or if someone isn't on the birthday list on the wall they might never actually tell the teacher but they will be really hurt about being forgotten by accident etc etc etc. make your life less stressful and unless a child puts their hand up and says it is their birthday that day in which case say "how lovely, happy birthday, are you doing anything nice?" I would ignore it.

[hormonesorDHbeingadick]

NCTDN many JW don’t involve themselves in politics or vote and often avoid high pressure jobs with long hours so they have more time for religious studies and witnessing.

I taught secondary RE and some parents did not want their child in a lesson which contained any reference to religion, this caused problems when teaching the reformation in history while others think it is important to learn about other religions to help with witnessing. You will need to speak to the parents.

[itbemay]

I started working with a JW a few years ago, very small team of 4, I didn't know she was JW and at xmas I bought them all a bottle of wine and wrote a card, the JW accepted the gift and card then sent me a text to say that she didn't celebrate xmas or birthdays and therefore wouldn't be returning to gesture. So I am guessing that the parents wouldn't like a card from the class, even though it sounds like a lovely school.

[rosesinmygarden]

Ridiculous even! That's the weirdest autocorrect ever!

[rosesinmygarden]

As a teacher with 17 years experience I would personally say don't do birthday cards etc. It is so easy for someone to get forgotten if it's a weekend, school holiday or just a day there's a supply in your class and this leads to them getting upset, patents complaining etc.

If you do do it (aside from the JW issue) make sure no one is forgotten - you will have a rifululiys amount on your mind to just do the job in your NQT year and this will just be adding to your workload and stress.

Most schools do a birthday thing in assembly once a week and most kids will tell you it's their birthday - singing to them in class or supervising the giving out if sweets is plenty of fuss for them.

[NCTDN]

OK so I'm my naive world I've never comw across JW children in my 25+ years of teaching. I had no idea They can't celebrate their birthday? I understand Christian celebrations but birthdays...?

[Glitterkitten24]

Appreciate the food for thought @ILe35

[Glitterkitten24]

Hmm, I don’t actually have the DOB yet cos office staff weren’t in today, I will see how big an issue this is and think about how to manage this.
Maybe do card before holiday for those near beginning. Maybe post a card to their home during holiday. Not sure.....

[ILE35]

You sound very reasonable in wanting to work with everyone.

One question though out of interest...what kind of fuss or special treatment will the kids whos birthdays are in the school holidays get? Or will they be part of the "friendship" card gang?

[Glitterkitten24]

I spoke to the teacher who had the JW children last year and think I have a solution (in case anyone cares, or the someone searches for the same question).

We will make birthday cards as a class, the JW will make friendship cards for each other, other children will make birthday cards for each other, to be given out on their birthdays.
Singing happy birthday in class is fine, JW children can be in class but not sing.

I think I’ll have a chat with JW parents as it seems like some are ‘stricter’ than others with their expectations and to make sure we get off on right foot and know what’s what.

Thank you for all the advice and opinions, they’ve been very helpful.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

some parents will send sweets in but I haven't known teachers to do cards or sing.
It's very common in Early Years. Not so much cards but it might be part of a special topic.

[PurpleDaisies]

^that’s not to say

[PurpleDaisies]

It’s really common to invite the birthday boy/girl to the front of the class and sing happy birthday banjo. Most children will be used to that happening. That’s just to say that it has to.

[Banjodancer]

Celebrating birthday doesn't have to take place at school though, I know some parents will send sweets in but I haven't known teachers to do cards or sing.

[cannotmakemymindup]

Always just check with the each parents of child. Different ones may still eat a cake/have sweets given out others may not feel comfortable with that. They definitely don't want to stop the class from celebrating birthdays or other celebrations as that is down to everyone elses personal beliefs.

[Glitterkitten24]

Hmmm, a mixed bag then.
Given I don’t have LA to take kids out of class, I think i might need to give birthdays a miss then.

I’m at inservice tomorrow so will take some advice from my mentor about what’s been done in the past.
Thanks all!

[CaptainMyCaptain]

The children may well hate it but the JW parents have the right to remove their children, it isn't the teacher's fault. It's very inconvenient and I felt bad about it too but going the other way and not letting the non JW children celebrate birthdays etc would be wrong too. I never met JW parents who tried to influence what the rest of the class did, they were only concerned about their own children.