What is the worst "bad Teacher" thing you have ever done

[Nehru]

was laughing remembering when as anew teacher I put
"william had a big_" as a fill in the gaps sentence for a very weak group on the board.

as i wrote it out I was reading it, and i started helpless gufffawing. It was so bad i was weeping and couldnt turn around...

WHat have you done?

[unpackyoursuitcase]

attempted to walk out of classroom with important visitor... I got flung backwards as my cardigan had hooked onto the door handle! mortified I was !! Then the door bounced back and hit me!!

[CatKisser]

Two years ago I had a tough class and they were being particularly foul one morning. To make matters I couldn't use my whiteboard for my lesson as the new young, Polish tech guy was fiddling about updating my computer.

Half way through the lesson I was not in a good mood and then to make it worse a phone text alert went off.

"And WHOSE phone was that?" I snarled.

Well, the young Polish tech guy looked positively terrified as he put up his hand...

The kids were pissing themselves and I couldn't keep a straight face so it really broke the atmosphere.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

Took class of 10 year olds swimming in the public swimming pool; hurrying them up in the changing rooms so banged on locked door of cubicle and ordered its occupant to come out IMMEDIATELY; was mortified when an extremely elegant lady emerged, outraged.
"No-one has ever spoken to me like that before" she said in front of my deeply appreciative class, and stormed off to complain.

[Happy36]

BellaBearisWideAwake Haha!

That reminds me, I drew a penis on the board intentionally - with Year 11 we were studying Tennyson´s poem Mariana which talks of the eponymous heroine in bed at night with the moon casting the shadow of a poplar tree over her face, implying that she is dreaming of sex and penetration / penis. As the internet connection in my classroom is useless I couldn´t get an image of a poplar tree for them to look at and see the shape so with my extremely limited artistic skill I "drew" one, with stick figure Mariana, a bed and a moon.

Needless to say they "got" the poem after that and the lesson stuck in their minds leading to some interesting essays - they were set 4 of 6 and ended up with 12 A*, 7A and 1B, I was delighted with them. Maybe I should draw penises on the board more often.

[BellaBearisWideAwake]

Drew a massive willy on the whiteboard.

It was MEANT to be a pulley system, with circular weights.

But it just looked like a giant cock.

Year 12, all boys. Gosh that was a fun lesson.

[Happy36]

Coolas Brilliant!

[AnotherStitchInTime]

Spent 2 hours projectile vomiting in the nurses room with injured kids coming in and out asking if I was OK. Was genuinely Ill though not hungover, got taken to A&E.

My mentor when I was training once fell asleep after a heavy night out on his lab desk during a lesson. His Year 9 class just tidied up and left quietly. We only found out when his next class came along.

[Glastogirl]

On my first day as an NQT I knocked a little girl's head with the milk crate. I was mortified and was terrified she wkd go and tell her policeman father I hurt her. Luckily her parents were fine about it!

[zingally]

Walking my Reception class back from assembly one day, there was a bit of a traffic jam, so I decided to take them round the other way, which involved negotiating a heavy fire door.
On approaching this door, you had to pull it to open it, but also needed to put a bit of oomph behind it, as it tended to stick.
Thinking my class were further back than they were, I gave the door an almighty heave... smack into the head of a 5 year old boy. Needless to say, he went flying, landed on the ground with a thump and got a massive egg on his head.

I've never rushed a child to first aid for an ice-pack so fast in my entire life.
I'm literally going "GET OUT THE WAY!" As I drag a screaming, hysterical child by the hand behind me.

[Softlysoftlycatchymonkey]

Lost a pupils gold earrings

Worst ever was when a child (7 years) was getting out of the pool, as I was speaking to his mother, the child filled his swimming cap up with water and threw it in my face!

I was saturated. For some god awful reason, for a snap second I went to smack his bum! The screeching of brakes in my head was deafening and just as quick I stopped.

His mother was aghast at what he had done but non the wiser I was just about to assault her son.

Was the end of term..... Those kids snapped every last bloody nerve I had that year!

[phlebasconsidered]

On the morning I was meant to present our book week assembly, I woke late, shoved yesterday's trousers and a clean top on, and drove in. I delivered the assembly with yesterday's knickers peeping from the bottom of a trouser leg. One of my students pointed it out.

[Happy36]

orangeandemons Our school nurse´s beds are used almost exclusively by knackered or hungover teachers. She shushes the sick children and sends away any timewasters so the teachers can have a kip in peace.

[Happy36]

Laughed when I heard one of my naughty Year 10 boys had hurt his knee playing football. I like the boy, but he´s very cheeky. I´m sure he would have done the same if it had been me with the injury.

I did feel bad afterwards, though.

[CatKisser]

Bobby jones, did you type "bad teacher" into the search box by any chance?

[BobbyJones28]

dropped a few F bombs from time to time eek

[IroningBoredDaily]

Love the Willy / Welly story!!

[IroningBoredDaily]

I was trying so desperately hard to ensure that I said 'organism' when doing science with a yr 4 class, that of course the word 'orgasm' popped out!!

TA and I manage to fudge over it and the children didn't have a clue thank God!

[ReadytoOrderSir]

I broke a 'show and tell' item this week :-(

Luckily it's new and replaceable at not much cost. The pupil as OK about it, but I was mortified.

[AViewFromTheFridge]

Got the giggles when a boy with autism suddenly started shouting "YOU ARE FAT!" at the teacher. That went down well.

Actually, I get the giggles quite a lot.

[Pantone363]

His other teacher also forgot to tell the sub that we withdraw DS from religious assembly's (atheist).

He came out of school with an ash cross on his forehead waving a palm crucifix. His teacher was mortified (it was quite funny actually).

[Pantone363]

DSs teacher sent a letter out saying the class would all need "willies" instead of "wellies".

[complexnumber]

I went behind a girl I thought was my daughter in the library yesterday and put my hands round her neck and made throttling noises.

Needless to say it wasn't my daughter.

I couldn't help but laugh, and said 'Oh good grief! I think I have done that before!'

The girl said 'Yes, you have.'

It appears that I have assaulted this girl in this manner earlier this year. Mortifying! Fortunately she does not have a phobia about people touching her neck, and thought it was really funny as well.

[Imsosorryalan]

The first time I taught in reception, I gave them all a piece of paper titled 'what I did in the summer holidays'..
I thought they could write what they did!! I had pretty much most of the class in tears saying they couldn't do it... Not a great start to the year but they got over it

[LadyDamerel]

I've just remembered the trip I went on when I was a student teacher. I rolled out of a club at 3am, got up to go into school for a 7am coach pickup and promptly slept for for the entire 2 and a half hour journey from Bristol to London, despite the racket of 45 Y6s.

My judgypants would be round my ears if a student I was mentoring did that now!