Going back tomorrow after anxiety stress- scared!

[AmIGoingMad]

Hi!
I'm going back in tomorrow after being off since end nov with anxiety and AND. Dr has given paper to phase return over the first week. Meeting head first thing in morning. Just scared in general at the thought of going bk. have been in much better place mentally and physically last few weeks and dreading setting myself back. I do feel though like the longer I'm off the harder it will be. Is this job even for me? Aargh! Driving myself mad!

[AmIGoingMad]

Thanks!

That sounds tricky as its so specialist but maybe a student would at least be able to take on some admin/ supervision of rehearsals or anything small that allows them to tick a box and you to have a few minutes to breathe?

Have a nice weekend and keep thinking that its not long til Easter thank goodness!

[icepole]

Congratulations!!! Put yourself first, your health is your priority.

With the production, it's a very specialist thing, it's not something anyone else in the school can do, even the other drama teacher can't teach this course. That's why it's just been left.

[AmIGoingMad]

Pgce not pace

[AmIGoingMad]

It's ok here but I'm pregnant too so getting more and more tired and not sure where to find the time to do my usual work, let alone the stuff I still need to catch up with from being ill.

I was also thinking- is there any way you could contact exam board? They do special consideration for pupils- could they maybe give you a but of leeway with examiner visit etc? Also- are there any good pace students in your school at the moment who would be interested in helping you with the performance for their extra curricular?

[icepole]

Monday was bad but settled after that, up to full days next week. How are you getting on?

[AmIGoingMad]

How are you doing this week icepole?

[icepole]

I really don't know! I am hacked off because I kept asking for an update on where they were at but was ignored and now I'm in the shit. They are an inexperienced group too so have no performance experience. Lovely kids, it's a shame for them.

[icepole]

Drama. My worry is they need to do a production which is a massive amount of work. I love it usually, but it does require working every lunch time and after school too which I am not up I right now. They should have done all their essays and be almost ready to perform at this stage. They have done nothing. And the external examiner is due soon. Anyway one day at a time and all that, trying hard not to stress!

[icepole]

I am working on a plan that will get me out of education hopefully by the summer. Plan to have a site with audio stories for children and do some storytelling sessions for younger children too. If I can get well enough I will set up a youth theatre too, I ran one before but not well enough right now. Need to survive until the summer. Big stress is my senior class who have been left to rot. No idea how I will catch them up.

[AmIGoingMad]

Well done on your first week. I know it's hard but it does start to get better week by week. Just take each day at a time.
I'm getting there slowly but not back to normal. I'm working with a very capable student at the moment which is proving positive.
Hang on in there- it will get better.

[icepole]

And done. Today was my hardest day, feel pretty rough now. Only sat and read a play with my seniors. I just don't see how I will cope with full on teaching. Nothing to be done though, have to do it. Am pretty sore now, hope the whole weekend isn't buggered.

How is everyone else getting on?

[AmIGoingMad]

Glad it seems to be gradually getting better icepole and that's great advice from shmalzing.

[icepole]

First time for me but I was desperate! It's been really good, it's a bit strange but weirdly relaxing too.

[icepole]

Sounds good!! I might go get some acupuncture, it helps with the pain/nausea and is quite relaxing.

Today I has waves of feeling bad so it wasn't constant so better than Monday.

[icepole]

Monday was bad, very unwell after. Today a bit more manageable. I think it is going to be a hard few months.

[AmIGoingMad]

How was it Icepole?

[AmIGoingMad]

Just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow icepole. Take it one step at a time- you will get through this.

[AmIGoingMad]

Thanks for the message shmalzing.

Icepole I don't understand how school can say ok to 4 wks when 8wks was recommended? I understand how you'll be feeling this wkend and on mon morning. Just keep thinking that the reality on mon can't be as awful as you're thinking it will be- I speak from experience. What will you be doing Monday lessons and hours wise? Don't expect too much from yourself and take each thing one step at a time. I'd psyche myself up for driving in, then walking into building etc. I tried to arrive early so that I wouldn't be walking in past pupils at first.