Going Away for a Year

[CatAdvice101]

My BIL is in the military and has been posted away to the US for one year. He has a DCat but feels that taking her there and back for a year could be quite stressful for her as well as very costly. He has looked at boarding her in a cattery long term but it doesn't seem like much of a life for a cat.
Unfortunately no one in the family is in the position to take on his cat for a year. We are thinking about taking her, but we already have a 16 year old boy and we are not sure how he would take to her. It could turn out well - his brother died last year and he has been feeling lonely since then, but he is also quite an anxious cat so I am worried it will upset him too much. Also we are moving soon and I'm not sure there would be time to settle our cat into the new home and then introduce a new cat before BIL goes away.
Does anyone have any other ideas? I understand that most rescue centres would be full in terms of fostering at the moment and this would anyway be a very last resort. Thanks in advance.

[SevenSeasOfRhye]

A new house might work in your favour if introducing a new cat, as your existing boy won't see it as his territory in the same way. Slow introductions are the way forward - if he has previously lived happily with another cat, there is no reason why he shouldn't do so again. It would be a shame to give your BIL's cat up for rescue when you can offer her a loving home.

[Overtheatlantic]

Absolutely agree with the poster above. Slow introductions, a new house. Certainly the cat deserves a chance with you in your home?

[LessOfMe99]

But your elderly cat might grow to love the new cat and then have it taken away from him on their return 😢

[Dawntime]

If you are moving anyway, take your brothers cat to the new house at the point you move in, that way there won’t be territorial issues between the two of them. Then just do careful introductions and all should be well hopefully!

[CatAdvice101]

Thanks for the replies so far, we would really love to take her. Our cat has kidney disease which his brother also sadly passed from last year and based on his brother's decline he might not be around for too much longer, maybe a year or so. I think BIL would be open to us keeping his DCat until our boy has passed if they do really get along. I'm just worried about stressing our boy out in what could be his last year. We are thinking of having a trial period before BIL goes away to see how they get on, but not sure if this would be too disruptive to BIL's DCat

[CatAdvice101]

Just to add - my boy is an indoor cat and his brother was from the same litter. The only time he has met another cat, it attacked him and cut his ear and it bled. He is a very gentle boy and would never retaliate so hoping that BIL's girl has a good temperament

[SevenSeasOfRhye]

Rather than have a separate trial period, could you view the first month or so of her coming to live with you as a trial period - i.e. agree with BIL a 'plan B' if it really doesn't work out between the two cats.

Aggression is normal when two cats meet face to face for the first time, but that can be avoided with slow introductions - keeping new cat shut in her own room at first, which means they get to know each other's smell (it will permeate beyond the room) and get used to the sense of another cat being present before there is any chance for confrontation.

I've introduced a new cat three times over the last 30 years or so, and also had a dog in the mix for some of that, and it's always worked out - the key is to rush nothing.

[CatAdvice101]

@SevenSeasOfRhye

Rather than have a separate trial period, could you view the first month or so of her coming to live with you as a trial period - i.e. agree with BIL a 'plan B' if it really doesn't work out between the two cats.

Aggression is normal when two cats meet face to face for the first time, but that can be avoided with slow introductions - keeping new cat shut in her own room at first, which means they get to know each other's smell (it will permeate beyond the room) and get used to the sense of another cat being present before there is any chance for confrontation.

I've introduced a new cat three times over the last 30 years or so, and also had a dog in the mix for some of that, and it's always worked out - the key is to rush nothing.

Thanks for the advice, appreciate it, it's good to hear a positive story. We can talk to BIL about a plan B, which I think unfortunately would be the cattery, so things would have to be very bad between the Dcats for us to give up on the situation

[SevenSeasOfRhye]

@CatAdvice101

Thanks for the advice, appreciate it, it's good to hear a positive story. We can talk to BIL about a plan B, which I think unfortunately would be the cattery, so things would have to be very bad between the Dcats for us to give up on the situation

You'd be very unlucky for it not to work out, but I can't stress enough the importance of slow introductions. You can help things along the way by scent-swapping (exchanging bedding or blankets between the cats while they are separated) and using a Feliway or similar diffuser.

Keep face to face interactions very short and supervised at first, and gradually increase these periods. In my experience it takes 4-6 weeks before you can confidently give both of them the run of the house. There may be occasional 'spats' but they will establish a hierarchy and learn when to give each other space.

I agree, it's not much of a life for a cat in the cattery. An advantage of having two cats is that if they have to go in for a week or two while you are on holiday, they can go in the same pen, which is more pleasant for them.

[Bellyblueboy]

Please do everything you can to avoid a cattery for this length of time. It’s no life for the cat. I
left my cat in a cattery for two weeks once and never, ever again. She became incredibly distressed. I still feel incredibly guilty.

if you can please take this cat - permanently. If not see if your brother can find a good new and permanent home for this cat.

[xSideshowAuntSallyx]

We used to leave our cats with my uncle and aunt when we were posted overseas. When we came back, we got the cats back and we repeated it several times. I don't get why some are suggesting you take it permanently or your BIL rehomes it.

If you introduce slowly most cats will tolerate each other. My current two aren't related and get on fine. They actually play together sometimes, honestly think they'd be fine on their own though.

I've also taken a cat out of a group (none related but all ours, I took her with me when I moved out) and she was fine.

[SamBeckett]

I agree with @SevenSeasOfRhye a slow introduction should help both cats.
I would advise a few weeks before your bil cat comes to you swap their toys , blankets, t-shirts smelling of each family and even small amounts of used litter.
That way they get use to each others and the family's smell .
Has anyone got a puppy / dog cage you could borrow? Put your cat in it and let bil cat have a look around the house unharassed for half a hour or so a day but where they can see and 'talk' to each other.
At other times keep them in separate rooms until they seem settled.
There are bound to be a few hisses and swipes at each other but I reckon they will settle soon enough.