Cat scratches our children

[mummymermaid]

We adopted a two year old cat just over two weeks ago, she seemed to settle in straight away and wasn't bothered about our children making noise etc. We really like her, she's very playful and wants to spend time with us. But she has scratched both DC couple of times now. When she wants to play she stalks us and plays with our hands. This is not too much of an problem as we redirect her to toys.
The biggest problem we are having is that DC might be petting her and when she's had enough she scratches or tries to bite. I'm really struggling with this, I'm desperate for this to work but I don't want my children to be full of scratch marks constantly. She doesn't scratch or bite too hard but DD is getting upset over it.
Is there anything I can do or is this just doomed to fail? 😥

[ApplestheHare]

We've had the a similar thing with Dd as we adopted our very friendly and playful 18-month-old Dcat in July. She will follow us everywhere and then want to play but will scratch and bite if over excited. There's no malice in her at all, it's just play, but 4-yo DD was upset after a couple of scratches. What's really helped is:

• dcat going outside after 5 weeks of being cooped up
  
• lots of toys on fishing rods so dd can play without getting hurt
  
• teaching dd how to play nicely and to learn signs that Dcat is getting over excited when being stroked.
  

We haven't had a scratch for over a month now so very pleased at the progress DD and Dcat have made. DD will now happily stroke Dcat with no concerns. Good luck with helping cat settle in

[Orangelover]

My cat is like this. Had him 3 months now and he loves to be around us. Always on your knee, asking for fuss and then every now and then bam scratch or a bite. I find this really bizarre because I always thought a cat who'd had enough would just walk off but nope not him He also occasionally will stalk our feet when just walking around the kitchen We find it funny and he doesn't do it all the time but tbh when people come round I'm a bit nervous and always warn them that he does occasionally bite and scratch. We don't have children yet but I do wonder how we'll go on when we do because he's only young we should have many more years with him yet. I love him to bits and think I can tell now when he's aggy so I just leave him alone, as far as possible when he's on my knee

OH has had cats alllll his life and says he's never met a cat like him, so clingy. We let him out but he normally just sits at the door wondering whether to go out or not and if he does he rarely leaves our garden even though he has no trouble hopping the fence.

All in all, strange boy but I love him. If I were you maybe just tell the kids to leave her be for a bit, hands out the way until she calms down a bit more which I bet she will

[itinkthereforeima]

Our kitty was a rescue and for a long time he'd go from welcoming strokes and scratches to being overstimulated very quickly. It would seem to come from nowhere. But he was and still is affectionate and chatty!
We had to be extra restrained. If he came for a bit of fuss, we put a hand out near him, and he'd rub himself on it. Rather than us rubbing him. And now we start off most petting sessions that way. He just needed a few months to develop trust.

He still hates if we reach over his head, so that's banned. It scares him. Also DH doesn't look as closely at his cues to stop, so he gets swiped at more than me as a result. Cats just need to be the leader all the time, even if they come looking for a fuss they need to be in control of it themselves, so presenting your hand and letting them pet themselves on it is best, and watch their facial expressions/body language really closely. I can now actually pick up my cat for a cuddle, which was a total no-no at first.

A good source of info on dealing with difficult cats is Jackson Galaxy on YouTube, he helps people whose cats have all kinds of behaviour issues. I hope your kitty just needs time to develop more trust!

[Grumpyoldpersonwithcats]

Active cats usually manage their own claws - the only time I've ever had to clip claws were with my old cat in his last year or so because his were getting too long and snagging on furniture and carpets. I wouldn't clip cat claws just because they are sharp - that's how they should be.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

I don't like the idea unless it's necessary either @Grumpyoldpersonwithcats. We did it once with our cat and I felt as though I was taking away one of his lines of defence. I wouldn't do it again unless they were causing him a problem. I also found it hurt more if he tried to scratch me as he used more effort!

[OlderThanAverageforMN]

Grumpy Our vet clips them every visit too...... what's the issue?

[Grumpyoldpersonwithcats]

Sorry - really don't agree with clipping cats' claws unless there is a pressing reason for the individual cat's health.
I would recommend the tips above in terms of recognising the signs - and also play down any scratches - to my mind they are just part of cat ownership.

[mummymermaid]

Thanks older than average, good idea, I shall try that too!

Our cat doesn't mind if touched by the base of her tail either, also she's fine if I touch her tail, paws and even belly (most of the time). Not that I regularly touch any of those areas because cats don't generally like it but she doesn't freak out over any of those really. Well the belly sometimes 😁

[ifonly4]

My old boy was like this, but in time we realised he's sort of flick his head just before trying to bite or scratch and that gave us enough time to stop. In time he did mellow, in fact, he'd sit on our laps tapping up and asking for more. So first watch and try and pick up any signals.

Quite a lot of cats don't like being touched in the tummy area, so avoid that one. I totally understand your children want to stroke her, but perhaps try and encourage them by interacting with toys - as said before something on a stick, old shoe laces can be dragged along the floor, or slightly above for her to catch. All cats I've had love ping pong balls to chase, buy lots as they'll get lost everywhere though.

[OlderThanAverageforMN]

Interested to hear about the base of the tail thing. My cats have always loved to be patted there, they go all besides themselves.

Other tip, try to get kitten used to having his nails clipped. We do ours every couple of weeks. Blunt nails don't hurt so much!

[mummymermaid]

Fluffy, I think that's what happened with our cat, that she was possibly taught to play with hands when she was a kitten. And it's not really an issue for us adults but it is with DC.

[mummymermaid]

Thanks, I'll try letting her out tomorrow morning then! She comes when we call her and I've been clicker training her for recall so I'm hoping the clicker would work when out as well! I'm hoping going out would help.

[umpteennamechanges]

PS: I'm a foster carer for a national cat charity and have fostered lots of cats plus had about 17 of my own. Honestly...two weeks is fine...

Get her used to coming back when you call her name and shake treats in a box, it will be useful for the future if you need her to come in...

[umpteennamechanges]

Two weeks is perfectly fine to let a cat out for the first time. Just keep an eye on her the first few times she goes out.

Also think about putting some used litter in the garden so if she needs to she can find her way back by smell.

[Fluffycloudland77]

Ours used to do ears back play. It's serious play, ie rough and tumble. It's fine on another cat because they have fur but we don't and claws really hurt.

If ours does it now I hold the scruff of his neck gently and he relaxes enough so I can extricate myself.

I taught him hand were play things when he was a kitten, it didn't hurt at 4 months, when he weighed 14lb it was a bit more challenging.

I kept ours in a month when we moved.

[HiGunny]

We were advised to keep him in for 6 weeks so we did that. By the final week he was jumping and attacking us as we'd walk by and scratching furniture so in hindsight I could have let him out sooner. Once we started letting him out there was a massive difference in his behaviour. Hopefully it'll be the same for you!

[mummymermaid]

Gunny, thanks. Well I contacted the charity where we got her from and they suggested a lot of things to try but they also mentioned that she might calm down once I let her out. They said I could try this week already but they're initial advice was to wait 4 weeks so I'm a bit worried to let her out yet. How long did you wait until you let your cat out first time?

[HiGunny]

She sounds very similar to the cat we adopted last January, also a 2 year old. He's very sociable and playful but had a habit of biting and scratching. Generally if he bit or scratched me I would stop petting or playing and walk away. It was harder with the children (age 3 and 5) but I taught them the warning signs - in our cat he flicks his tail - when he's had enough. They still ended up with some scratches but thankfully none too bad.
I found his behaviour calmed down a lot during the summer when he was outside more and burning off excess energy!

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Maybe Fluffy's suggestion might work?

[mummymermaid]

Spartacus, this is why I'm so confused how to change it. She's the friendliest cat and comes to me or DC and is loving all the attention, even with DC. Then she's had enough and we get the claw lol. Whereas any other cats I've had in the past would walk away when they've had enough.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Oh dear - then you need to change the cat's behaviour ... I'm no expert here.

[mummymermaid]

Spartacus, I have taught them. It's just that our cat comes to us for attention, wanting petting. I know the signs when to stop yet I still managed to get scratched, like today for example it was so fast. So it's even harder for the DC.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

As a child, I just got used to being bitten and scratched. It was part of being a cat's best friend. But I do agree that as well as teaching your children that 'kitty likes distance and sometimes pets when she bloody asks for them and not otherwise it might be useful to teach your children some of the basics of cat behaviour.

[mummymermaid]

Yes she does the gentle biting or nibbling too but what I'm referring to is not that. Like earlier when she grabbed my hand her ears were pulled back and it wasn't gentle at all.
Well this morning I gave the kids some cat treats and they've been giving her some every time she lets them touch her and stop and ignore her if she tries to bite.

[Costacoffeeplease]

Gentle biting is a sign of affection - unfortunately