I think I have the world's thickest cats

[Hassled]

They bring mice in, alive, and then lose them. I've had enough of it - I basically have to show them where the mouse is. Which would be OK, except I am a big girl's blouse when it comes to rodents and I shriek a lot.

This morning there was a mouse behind the fridge (you would not believe how quickly you can make two packed lunches and a coffee when there's a mouse behind the fridge) - Cat A wandered outside because he has the memory-span of a guppy, Cat B managed to catch it only because the mouse ran into her open mouth.

Does anyone have a cat which actually kills rodents efficiently?

Just be thankful it's only bringing in mice. We've had rabbits, dozens of birds, a stoat and a bat. All released into our lovely home.

Our current cats are also Not Very Bright

As far as I can make out they prefer to cavort in the kitchen/in the bath/under my bed with their prey rather than outside in the cold.

Keeping them in at night puts a fair crimp in the amount of stuff brought home, and we tend to spot anything fetched in during the day.

My first two cats were brilliant hunters though, the children soon got to grips with dodging mouse giblets under the table when they were small.

My cat had a habit of bringing in live and gianormous moths and setting them free. We no longer have a cat flap. Everyone knows if he has a moth in his mouth they are not to open the window for him.

The only time he brought a bird in, it was still alive and he set it loose in front of my bird chasing JRT, cat2 who was an efficent hunter and animal lover dd1.

Oh the fun we all had seeing who could catch the bird first whilst dd1 hopped about with her hands over her eyes screaming "Save the birdie Mammy. Save the birdie. BAD DOG. BAD CAT. Mammy save the birdie"

Luckily I caught the bird first. And then had to fend off cat2 and the JRT while dd1 and I legged it upstairs to release it through a window.

OK I'm counting my blessings at this stage :o

Our cat has taken about 10 years to finally master catching and killing mice, my front path and garden are covered in them, I use the back door to avoid them!

My cat does this and I catch them with a humane mouse trap baited with peanut butter. The mouse walks in and the lid closes in it. I only use it when I am at home so the mouse isn't trapped for too long, and it usually catches them.

It took The Ginger Moron months to stop staring at the catflap and actually understand how to use it. 'Nuff said.

The Snowshoe, however,... I fucking nearly shit myself

If my cat started bringing huge moths in I would leave home. She could have the house.

The only thing my cat's ever brought home is a snail ... she was very proud of herself though so I tried not to be too patronising about it.

I have one cat who couldn't find her own arse with all 4 paws and is generally quite dumb. She is a rubbish hunter - likes to chase things, but has no idea about what do do if she catches - she actually had a paw on a cricket once, but it hopped up into her face and she fell over in shock and then ran away like a big sissy.

Her sister on the other hand is the terror of the neighbourhood. Birds, mice, rats, moles, rabbits, squirrels, snakes, big bugs... you name it, she'll proudly drag it home to show us. Fortunately we don't have a cat flap or I have no doubt that she'd bring in live stuff - presumably to play with later in the comfort of her own home. She generally likes to kill, disembowel and munch on her catches outside the glass patio door where she has the best chance of catching a horrified audience.

She is very handy when big horrid spiders are indoors though. Once she spots them their life expectancy is roughly 7 seconds

Quite right, System, you should never patronise a cat. Dignity is paramount.

omg i use to have this problem my cat use to take great pride and bring them back live just to play with and lost them a few times.

i hate mice with a passion and would run round screaming trying to chase the cat out,im sure she loved this she always had a evil smug look in her eyes.eventually she would catch them again.

what i did was everytime lock the catflap for a few hours,eventually she cought on and she hasnt brought one back for about 5 years now.

mine eat anything they catch

no catflap either

Fantastic stories!

Luckily for me I have one cat who is far too lady like to chase and kill anything and another cat that makes a hunt out of eating boiled chicken - she stalks, pounces and retreats before going in for the kill .

A few months ago my husband went into the bathroom at 3am to find an enormous rat snarling at him from the bath mat.
Thicko cat was guarding it, but walked out when DH walked, as if to say - all yours mate.
DH eventually trapped it under a box and flung it out the bathroom window, box and all.

Lol at "all yours mate".

My cat is being a bit bullied by my "in difficult stage" dog. Dog has to have ear drops every night and howls like he's being killed. Cat sits close by and watches every delicious minute of his pain. She almost purrs with satisfaction.

My cat is much more a lover than a fighter (she does howl when she sees birds on trees outside, way up in trees ... as if that will have any effect).

However somehow once she actually did catch a mouse and very very kindly put it into the sofa, between the cushions.

I came home, sat down to quickly check my emails and suddenly saw a grey tail hanging next to my leg ... and I was wondering why the cat sat in front of my so expectantly!

Caught mouse in tupperware and tossed out side. The cat sat for two weeks on the sofa and would not budge.

Her one moment of fame.

My cat is sweet, gentle, beautiful but incredibly thick. In the 6 years I've had him he's "caught" more sausages (stolen from houses near where we live) than mice. In our old house he could only come in through the cat flap, but not out, and used to regularly chase his tail off the bed, landing in a surprised pile on the floor....wouldn't swap him for a "clever" one though...

My cross eyed, fat ginger moggy with a misaligned jaw loves bringing home frogs. God knows how he actually manages to catch anything!

It took DH and I 2 hours and a fishing net to get the damn thing out the kitchen. The cat had buggered off to stare at the collared doves at the bottom of the garden.

In the end I had to grab the poor thing and chuck it out. DH was screaming like a girl.

Face it, you're the thick one.

THey bring in these lovely yummy peices of protein, trying to teach you how to catch more.

You stand there cringing & making sandwiches, then running off as fast as your 2 legs can carry you.

I cannot tell you what a disppointment and a failure you are, clearly you are never going to learn this really basic stuff.

How much easier can they make it? Has one of them got to hold your mouth open while the other one shoves a mouse down it?

Try harder.

2/10, D- for effort,

Our two brave huntresses bring us home worms. We find them dried and shrivelled all over the house if we dont see them soon enough they are very proud of themselves!

Having given you that rather harsh (but fair) appraisal, I should say my DH has always been a very good indoor mouser, using his humane trap. He tends to rub it in a bit and make the cats feel inadequate in a point scoring " well that will be 5 nil to me over the last 12 months, losers" sort of way.

Cats have this very smug clever look about them but they are all dim as dim. It's all pretence. SMoke and mirrors.