Dog has gone for my daughter

[Lovemusic33]

I'm sat here crying. Some of you may recognise me as I have posted about ddog (rescue dog) a lot.

We are currently camping, only been here a few hours. My dd2 is 13 and has severe ASD, she flaps and makes random noises, the dog has growlled at her a few times at home. We were in the tent and we walked past the dog and he growlled and lunged at her, luckily he was on a line and I grabbed him but of I hadn't have been quick enough he would have had her. He has since lunged several times and keeps growling every time we moved, I have him tied to me so.he can't get her but it's making things difficult. I have contacted the rescue and they have offered to put me in touch with a behaviourest but I can't risk it can I? We is often alone with the dog as is my other dd.

I am totally gutted. I'm trying to get hold of my mum to see of she can come and collect the dog so we can continue with our holiday, either that of the rescue will have to come and get him 😭

[tabulahrasa]

Dogs without issues shouldn’t be any more scared of a child with an ASD than any other child... from a dog’s point of view they all do unpredictable things...

[Poochandmutt]

I rescued a min pin ,and I’ve 2 with autism...he is an amazing dog.has fitted in so well.
Op you were just unlucky ,you did nothing wrong x💐

[DogInATent]

It's very odd that they didn't insist on the dog meeting all family members before the adoption was allowed to proceed and took the previous experience of dogs on trust. This isn't normal for a reputable rescue shelter and has let everyone down in this instance - the OP, her daughter, the dog, and the rescue.

As the rescue won't be named, I assume it's one of the less mainstream ones.

[Lovemusic33]

Bran I think when we do eventually decide to get one it will be a older calmer dog, our last dog which we had for 12 years was a staffie and she was amazing with dd, we got her when dd was 18 months old and going through diagnosis. The walking is what I miss the most and the company, it feels odd not having a dog in the house. I don’t want to upset the cat again though, he’s pleased we are now dogless.

[Branleuse]

if you really love having a dog, then please dont be put off by this bad experience. My kids are autistic and one of them stims a lot and another can be a bit unpredictable, but it doesnt faze my rescue girl in the slightest. You might need to look for a calm dog which isnt a "project" and take as long as it takes for the right one to become available.

[Hiredandsqueak]

I rescued Bella and have two dc with autism and she is a brilliant dog for our family. The rescue we got her from wouldn't allow anyone to rehome a dog without the dog meeting every member of the family first so had she not coped with ds's stims we wouldn't be considered suitable. We haven't had any problems with Bella, she's calm and gentle and has added so much to our family. The dc love her and she is delighted by them so I wouldn't say autism and rescue dogs don't mix at all you just need a rescue that rehomes carefully.

[Dontgiveamonkeys1350]

There are so many things I miss not having s dog anymore. But the long 1.5 hrs walk every morning in the woods I miss sooooooo much. Rain or cold or sun I would take him. The frosty mornings were the best.

[Lovemusic33]

coke your right. Last night the cat spent all night indoors, first time since we got the dog, slept on my bed and has been in most of today. For now we will stick to just having the cat, maybe I can find someone local who wants their dog walked.

[CokeZeroHero]

My advice would be to not get a dog while you still have your cat. So don't dog walk with a view to meeting the perfect dog etc. Just be happy with your cat

[septemberdread]

Thing is, even if the dog had met the DD, unless she was displaying those exact behaviours at that time, there’s no way anyone could have known.

[Wolfiefan]

But they hadn’t met the whole family. They should never have allowed you to take the dog without meeting you all and seeing you all meet the dog.

[Lovemusic33]

They allowed us to rescue as my ASD kids have always been around dogs, as above, the dog could have done the same with another child, not just one with ASD.

The dog was obviously scared of my dd and reacted, I do know the dogs past but not all details (no one knows with a rescue), we have had a rescue dog before and a dog we had from a puppy, my dd is often around dogs and none have ever reacted this way towards her.

We are home now, the house feels odd with no dog here. We don’t plan on getting another anytime soon, I need to make sure dd is ok and doesn’t fear dogs.

[villainousbroodmare]

I agree with MarySibleysFamiliar and branleuse.

There are dogs that are dangerous, unhappy, unpredictable, unrehabilitatable and have potential to do devastating injury. Meanwhile cheerful, loving, sociable animals seek homes.

[Parrakeet]

A child with ASD and a rescue is an unthinkable match! How did they ever let u rescue?
It is a bad, bad idea.

[MarySibleysFamiliar]

Well now it's gone to a rescue certainly I hope that no other child in it's vicinity ever flaps their arms or squeals or does anything else to startle this dog like getting over excited or acting silly. I'm sure that happening with any other child is unlikely as only children on the spectrum flap their arms or squeal or act overexcited excited?

[septemberdread]

I agree with you bran

[Wolfiefan]

Honestly I wouldn’t be thinking like that right now. You need to focus on the kids and you can’t risk a similar thing ever happening again. It’s not fair on them, you or even a dog!

[Lovemusic33]

I think i might volunteer with a local rescue to dog walk, maybe one day I might come across the perfect dog whilst doing it.

[Wolfiefan]

@Lovemusic33 I completely understand. I’m so sorry this hasn’t worked out. But it’s not right for your family to get another rescue or a (bitey shithead but very cute) puppy either.
Could you volunteer to dog walk? I used to do this for the Cinnamon Trust and it was lovely. Or walk with a friend and their dog? Dog walk for a shelter?

[NoSquirrels]

Love I completely understand - but I think you just had a shit rescue experience. If you decided to try again, you’d know now a) the WHOLE family must meet the dog, especially your DD, and preferably more than once. There are loads of rescues who could help you find the right match, I’m just so sorry you had a poor one. The fact they immediately offered to place another dog with you is not a great sign either.

[Lovemusic33]

Thank you, we are ok, all feeling a little sad. It's put me off getting another rescue (for now anyway), I don't think my dd2 could handle a puppy either so for now we won't be getting another. I'm going to miss my morning walks, it's just not the same walking without a dog ☹

[PookieDo]

I’m sorry to hear what has happened

This was always my worry about bringing a dog into a house with children. I waited until they were much older (15/17) and the noise is a lot less and less unpredictable for any dog

My dog is 6 (I’ve known him all his life although he did not live with me) he is very anxious and territorial sometimes but he has never shown any human aggression to anyone, ever, even if he is hurt (like a paw) and scared he will shake and immediately go to you for reassurance. I doubt this is the first ever time the dog has shown human aggression, you just didn’t know about it. And if the dog doesn’t feel comfortable away from home or with any humans he completely utterly trusts, this was just such a bad combination
You have done the right thing though. I hope you are ok

[Funf]

The thing people forget is dogs are not a universal fit, some take to some people and some families better than others. As a dog owner with a few under my belt you are doing the right thing, we are on dog number 6 unfortunately when the children came along we gave one ( Number 3) away as it was not good with kids but it did very well with its new family.
I would take you daughter to a dog training place and get her to socialise with dogs to get confidence back.

[Lovemusic33]

Thank you for your kind words (not the unkind ones).

Ddog has been placed with another rescue as the rescue I got him from could not find a foster home quick enough and I couldn't risk him being near rd when we return home tomorrow. He has gone to a larger rescue who will access him and place him in the right home (after training). He went there this morning so I didn't have the chance to say goodbye, probably a good thing. It was obviously a fear thing and my dd2 made him fearful due to her movements and sounds. The rescue has offered me the chance to adopt again but I have declined.

[fivedogstofeed]

This is incredibly sad. The rescue has let this dog down really badly but will hopefully learn from this. Placing a dog in a home with children depends as much on the behaviour of the children as it does on the temperament of the dog.