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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

The doghouse

My dog died

44 replies

NotJustaDog · 21/07/2019 17:03

He died on Wednesday. He had a very aggressive tumour on his head. He went in to surgery and didn't come back out. The vet told us it was kinder to not wake him up as it was worse than anyone expected.

I was at work and I didn't get to say goodbye properly. I didn't expect he would die on that day. I knew he was ill but I thought that when it was time we would get to choose when to say goodbye. I thought we would have a little more time together.

I went to see his body after I finished work. He was a big dog but he just seemed so tiny. I stroked him and rubbed his ears and I just felt like he would wake up at any time. I really wanted him to. It was so hard leaving him behind, I just wanted to pick him up and carry him home.

I know he's gone but I feel like if I just shout his name he will come running.

His favourite spot to sleep was outside my bedroom door. I've put his collar there and I say hello every time I pass it, just like I would say hello to him when he was there.

The house feels so empty and quiet. It is the worst feeling coming home and not having him greet me.

I haven't tidied away any of his things. His bed is still there, his food, his lead, his toys. I keep looking at all his usual snoozing spots and I feel so... surprised that he's not there and then I start crying again.

He was such a wonderful dog. He adored people. He was very polite and very, very gentle. Although he did believe he was a lap dog! He made me feel safe when my anxiety was bad. He looked after the children. And the cats! He used to hold a pillow or a bit of blanket in his mouth and we called it his doidy. When he was very happy he would twist his body around my legs and wag his tail so hard. He liked skyping with my family! He was a very picky eater but would do anything for a yorkshire pudding or a toast crust. He was just so kind and so loving.

I miss him so much.

He was not just a dog. He was a cherished, loved, and respected family member.

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NotJustaDog · 31/07/2019 19:25

Thank you, everyone, for your very kind comments. I appreciate them.

I'm sorry for all of you who have also lost beloved pets.

It has been 2 weeks since Norman died. It feels like a lot longer but also like no time at all. We collected his ashes today and I sobbed all the way home.

I've been sorting through all of his things so I could donate it to a local rescue. I hope someone will accept it but no one has replied to me yet. It seems a shame to throw it away. There are coats, collars, grooming supplies, blankets, a bed, etc.

I still slip up occasionally and forget he's gone. I was making dinner tonight and I almost called him to come and lick the yoghurt pot before I washed and recycled it. I also noticed that my husband had left the last two biscuits in the packet. They were always the secret biscuits he shared with Norman when I wasn't around!

I miss him so much.

Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not alone and that it's OK to be this upset.

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