so knackered with my new puppy

[SophyStantonLacy]

We brought home a 9 week old lab/pointer exactly a week ago. He is obviously adorable & bringing lots of joy, but also a lot of work! My main struggle with with the nights. I am concerned about seperation anxiety etc so really don't want to cry it out with him, but I've been sleeping on a camp bed in the kitchen next to his crate for the last week, getting up every 2 hours & I am not happy! I did this with my babies for years & I'm feeling really stressed being in this position again. He is happy with his crate during the day, he just wants to check in several times during the night - I've managed to move my camp bed from right beside him to the other side of the kitchen, so we are making progress... I know it is to be expected but argh!

Happy to take advice/commiseration!

[Mamabear12]

I forgot to add, that I also have 2 dc age 5 and 7 who also play with her loads....so she gets loads of stimulation during the day...from them when they are out of school and from other dog friends. I used to do some training with her...she is very smart and learns fast...I think this helps get pups knackered.

[Mamabear12]

Oh and when she was a pup, we got her chew toys so she could chew on during the day or evening when I needed her to calm down (this helps relieve stresss for them...so for example dried sweet potato, pig ears etc).

[Costacoffeeplease]

Some comments on here are astonishing, and very sad, poor pups

[Floralnomad]

Totally agree costa , in particular the removing of water overnight which is disgraceful .

[MsMustDoBetter]

my first response sounded a bit short and smug, so thought that I would elaborate because I do acknowledge that she has been easy and is a confident and sociable dog who is happy to go with the flow.

Ddog is only crated over night - my husband stays up late with her and I get up early in the morning - so to be fair she is only in her crate with the door shut for 6 hours.

We mix up her walks. Some days it can be up to three short walks, 1 little and 1 long or 2 medium. We also take her somewhere different everyday. Ddog also gets lots of play and training time and as a big family there are lots of people around to play and fuss her.

She has just slotted in and her routine and the DC's are perfectly synchronised, but she did have to fit in around them.

She's loved and happy.

[meadow00]

When we got our lab at 8 weeks old, he slept in a grate over night downstairs with one of our jumpers and a hot water bottle. He cried and cried for the first night and some of the second night, then after that no problems at all. After a few months he grew out of the grate so we made him a little bedroom under the stairs with a bed, water, toys etc where he sleeps now.

[meadow00]

Our dog is now the happiest, friendliest 4 year old!

[GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman]

When our youngest dog was a pup, we went down when she cried to make sure all was well, and then left her to it again. We never slept down there with her. She had other dogs and access to the outside. She settled pretty quickly but she was (and is) an early riser: someone was with her by about 5.30 most mornings until she matured a bit.

She's grown into an extremely confident and self-assured dog, but yep, she was knackering for the first few months that we had her.

[Mamabear12]

Floral nomad why is it such a problem to remove water over night? Do you drink water all night long? Would you prefer we put a bowl of water in with her crate that could get knocked over and leave her wet at night? People stop giving their kids water close to bed time to prevent bedwetting....is this also disgraceful? Or shall we give them loads of water before bed and keep them in diapers age 6 so they don't run the risk of feeling thirsty in the middle of night?

My dog is a content and happy dog. Everyone who meets her and our vet say this. Removing water for the night time is no way disgraceful.

[merryMuppet]

There have been new studies on puppies and how their brains develop. If left to cry to the point where they are very stressed then this has been found to cause permanent changes to their brain as the stress hormone is released - a similar thing happens to human babies.

There is, however, a difference between crying a little bit while they settle and very distressed crying where they get themselves into a state and only settle when exhausted. I think everyone's dogs are different and we all do things differently so you just have to do what feels right for you and your dog and don't feel bad if someone else's dog settles easily from day 1 while yours is still waking through the night and needs you.

Mine settled into sleeping through when he was about 12 weeks old (I had him from 10 weeks). In those first two weeks he generally woke just the once about 3-4am for the toilet though. I did what Bitey did but he was in a crate in my room and just took him out each time with no interaction - it was colder at night and he wasn't so keen outside so he quickly got the idea he'd prefer his warm snuggly crate. I put a piece of my clothing in there and a bit of his blanket he'd had with his littermates and Mum from the breeder. He did have one night after he'd slept through once waking every hour crying but I think he had a runny tummy and was in pain. I just stroked him and he settled back to sleep.

He's now 16/17 weeks and from about 15 weeks, he started seriously sleeping through - this morning we got up at 8.30am - most mornings I get up before him and he stays fast asleep while I get ready only waking up when it's ready for his walk about 7.30am. I let him out for his last wee about 11pm but he's asleep on the sofa from about 9pm. We have our last walk about 7.30/8pm - I partly chose the breed (he's a whippet) on their love of warmth, comfort, snuggling and sleeping in the house.

[Floralnomad]

Access to a drink 24/7 is a basic , if your children ask for a drink in the night do you tell them they can’t have one ? Obviously nobody drinks all night but yes I do always have a drink in my room in case I would like one in the night and I share the same courtesy to all off my animals . A properly house trained dog will not need to pee overnight whether or not it drinks . A pup that is not house trained needs to toilet in the night if you fail to get up and let it out in the garden .

[Mamabear12]

Yes, I allow them a tiny bit of water at night. But would not give them a whole cup to have by their bed when they were younger, as my son would wet the bed for sure. They don't need so much water at night time....but of course if they asked for some, I give them a tiny amount. I encourage them to drink through out the day so no need to drink at night. And yes, I drink at night sometimes, and then have to wake to pee 3 times a night....so again I try to limit drinking water at night...but now I am pregnant, and its what makes me feel better in the evening so I drink ice water to help with feeling sick at night....however, I suffer for it and have to wake several times a night to pee...when I am not pregnant I give myself a cut off time too for the water drinking at night. During the day, I make sure my dog has access to water. In the evenings before I take away the bowl, I bring her to it to see if she wants more and thats that. There has been occasion when someone else puts water out and like you say, she is trained so does not pee over night, but nor does she drink the water. I did read that some dogs wake and drink at night out of boredom etc and then need to pee or they get used to that habit. I did not want that. Also, my mom sleeps with her dog, who is not able to jump off the bed at night because its too high up....and he can't walk down the steps either....so he too does not have access to water at night...the only way for him to, would be to put the water bowl in her bed....which obviously, no one would do.

[Floralnomad]

With regards to them knocking water over in cages and soaking the bedding I believe you can get bowls that fix to the side of the cage to avoid that happening . FWIW I’m not someone who thinks that dogs should be kept in cages so it’s never been an issue for me . My own dog doesn’t as far as I know drink overnight he goes to sleep and gets up when he hears dh in the bathroom in the morning but he has the capability to get a drink if he wants to , likewise he has the freedom to move to a cooler part of the house if he wants to when the nights are warmer .

[yearinyearout]

You really don't need to be doing that. After building positive associations with the crate by feeding her in there etc I put a blanket over my puppy's crate with just a small gap at the bottom. First night sat outside crate on a chair in my dressing gown and slippers, radio 4 on, she cried a bit, i hushed her, when she dropped off I left dressing gown draped over the back of the chair and slippers next to crate, went to bed. She did cry in the night but only briefly, and by night 3 no crying at all.

[mydogisthebest]

Why on earth would you remove their water at 8pm? That is so early.

My dogs definitely sometimes have a drink in the night because I hear them.

I don't understand the comment about sleeping downstairs "I wouldn't want this sort of habit". We only slept downstairs for a couple of weeks. It hardly killed us and it made for a happy and secure puppy. We never have to get up in the night to him (he is 6) so what habit exactly did we start?

I hope people treat their children better than they treat puppies

[SophyStantonLacy]

Well, that was interesting... thanks for the thoughts and advice. I do feel that reassuring him at night is the right thing for us to do right now. We seem to be making some progress, and have moved the camp bed into the living room with success, and he’s going longer stretches at night, so hopefully we will get a fuller night’s sleep sooner rather than later... I guess I shouldn’t be surprised we got a night waking puppy - none of our kids slept through until they were 2 years old, after all! Hope he’s significantly quicker than that!

[MyGuideJools]

You must be knackered😲 Our pup is 15 weeks old. From day (night) 1 he has always slept in his cage at night. The door is always open. We have a camera on him and he's fine...He goes out for a wee at 10.30pm and goes out again at 5am then sleeps in till 7. I think this is the pattern the breeder used for her dog and pups and we've just carried it on. The first few days there was a wee or poo on the floor but he soon stopped that.
I have never restricted his water intake at night, or anywhen. I don't think that's a wise thing to do atall.
I'm not sure what you can do now as he's used to being with you. I guess we were very lucky. I didn't realise people slept next to their puppies

[mydogisthebest]

MyGuide, Most of the people I know slept next to their puppies. Some in the bedroom and some, like us, downstairs because we don't allow our pets in the bedroom.

If you just keep moving the crate or bed further away there should not be a problem. Our dog sleeps downstairs fine and has done from about 12 weeks.

It's just nice to be there to comfort them and keep them company

[tinkywinkyshandbag]

I've also got a 10 week old JR puppy and I'm shattered but he is gorgeous. I'm seeing it as a case of the more time/effort I put in now the better it will be later. He's in a crate in the kitchen (inside a playpen which has a puppy pad in). He sets the pad twice every night so I know he can't hold it all night long yet. I'm on the sofa as I can't hear him from our room and my DH works long tiring hours so don't want him to be disturbed. No room in our bedroom for a crate. I'm up to him on average twice a night, usually because he's got up to wee then he cries. I put him straight back to bed with no fuss. I've noticed the gaps between wakings are getting slightly further apart (we've only had him just over a week). I feel your pain re the tiredness but I keep telling myself it's temporary and he will be a happier dog overall. Indon't want to leave him crying. My older lurcher dog slept through from 12 weeks so I know it's possible!

[mydogisthebest]

tinkywinky, he is gorgeous. I think you are doing the right thing and, as you say, the sleepless nights won't be for long.

I don't have children so getting up for a puppy came as a shock and I am a grump if I don't get enough sleep but it was so worth it.