To get dog or not to get dog? That is the question.

[maskingtape]

I'd love a dog. I'd love the company, it would give me more fresh air and exercise and I think it would lift my mood. I love animals.

The problem is my working hours. I'm a teacher and I'm out of the house by 6.30am and not back until 5.30 ish. Obviously I'd get a dog walker for an hour at lunchtime but couldn't afford more than that on a regular basis. Occasionally I can work from home for 1 morning to do my planning time (but I'd have to be working). My parents could occasionally take them for the day too.

I could walk the dog for half an hour before work and nearly an hour after. Weekends and holidays I'd be there.

Would this work for a dog? I would trial it with a relative's dog first to see how it goes.

[BiteyShark]

tinstar to be fair most people like myself have cameras where we can watch and hear what our dogs are doing when we are not there. I know exactly if my dog is upset.

[adaline]

Please don't be selfish.

I love our dog but there is no way on this planet he would be happy to be left for 11+ hours a day. No way. And even if he was happy I wouldn't leave him that long - what a miserable existence!

You want a puppy that you plan, at four months old, to leave alone for 11 hours a day. What about toilet breaks, food and stimulation? Or are you happy to come home to a house full of pee/poo and a distressed dog just to fulfill your desire to have a pet?

Do you really think that's acceptable?

[Mummyshark2018]

I would say that given your long working hours then a dog is probably not a good idea at this stage. We got a dog last year when he was a puppy and I had the summer off to settle him in. When I started a new job in sept he was fully toilet trained, well settled etc. At present dog is left at home 3 days per week. DH works compressed hours so 1 weekday off and I wfh at least 1-2 days per week. My DH leaves dog at 12pm (works shifts) and I am back with dc at 5pm. He gets walked 2-3 times per day. We also pay a dog walker on one of those days and he gets 2 hour group walk (more for socialisation than necessity) so in total is left about 13 hours per week (and obv an hour here and there at weekend) and I feel terrible leaving him! We use a crate and when he knows we're going out he rolls on his back gives you those eyes it breaks my heart. So I think you would find it very difficult to leave your dog for periods of time without huge amounts of guilt. If your parents could do day care for 3 days then dog walker on other two days then maybe but don't underestimate how much work a dog is. It is like having another child!

[maskingtape]

adaline - I wouldn't have left them for 11 hours. I clearly said I'd get a dog walker at lunch time. I also said this would be more regular while the dog was young.

However this is irrelevant now as people are saying it's unfair to a dog.

[adaline]

That's still far, far too long.

My dog is eleven months old and at four months he needed taking to the toilet every hour to two at the very least. No way could he have lasted all day with just one or two breaks!

[OutragedERIC]

That would be very unfair to a dog.

[lamoona]

See OP. What did I say? People will call me out despite how much effort and time (cameras, dog walkers) etc you put in and still turn around and tell me, who lives with my dog, knows my dog inside out, HOW do I KNOW he's fine. You can't win, you and only you know your dog. You cannot please 99% of the people that haunt the doghouse threads unless you quit your job to be a stay at home dog mom.

[DianaT1969]

The doggy day care around here doesn't open early enough. I did look into that.
Don't you have a doggy daycare near you that picks up? You leave for work, they have a key and pick up an hour or so after you leave. Works well for my friend who also has an early start. Around £30-£40 per day in London I believe.

[adaline]

@lamoona loads of people on here work full-time and have dogs but they don't leave them for 11 hours with just one walk in the middle of the day.

People use daycare, walkers, have friends/family pop in or work shifts so that the dog is never left for longer than 4 hours at a time without company.

Nothing wrong with having a full-time job and a dog so long as the dogs needs are being met. And that can't happen if they're alone all day.

[Omzlas]

I don't understand people who get a dog when they work full time, I just don't get it

I'm not a dog owner and it's absolutely not fair on the dog

That said, it sounds like there's an awful lot more to this than a dog, could you be suffering from depression OP? Comments like "That was the only thing I was looking forward to" make me think there's more back story

[BiteyShark]

I don't understand people who get a dog when they work full time, I just don't get it

Do you not understand why people have children then if they work full time? What's the difference? My dog is looked after when I work just like some children are?

Bloody hell I have seen the arguments for SAHM versus working ones on here and now we have the same shit for owning dogs if we outsource some of their care.

People can be neglectful when they are at home 24/7 as well or is that ok because they don't work full time.

[Adorelabradors]

It’s far too long to leave a dog. Especially a puppy. When we got our dog who is now 7 we had to think about him every time we went out to shop and I am forever mindful of him at home. Would I very occasionally leave my adult dog at 7 years for 4 hours alone in the house to go out? Yes as long as he had been walked for an hour absolute minimum. Would I leave my 7 month old dog for that long? No way.

I am not saying you shouldn’t get a dog. I am saying that when it’s a puppy until it’s about 3 years old I wouldn’t leave it for very long at all.

I work full time. So does my husband but we do different work shifts. The dogs are not left alone for more than 2 hours and that is absolute max.

If I was on my own I would have to put dogs to daycare. Plenty people need to do that. It’s not ideal. You need to do what works for you.

My friend got a puppy and left it in a cage all day whilst at work. She then wondered why it wasn’t house trained and why it didn’t do anything it was told. Absolutely shocking!!!

Don’t get me wrong. My dogs are not the best trained. They misbehave shed everywhere run around come into the house covered in mud and lie on the couches. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Different breeds need a different amount of exercise but leaving a puppy home all day bar a dog walker is no good for them

[tinkaroo]

Do what you like!

I have a dog- work 30 hours a week, OH full time and works from home some days. Dog gets a dog walker when it's a long day and no one is at home.
Straight from the start we got him used to his own company- nothing huge just a few hours. He's 2 now and the easiest dog in the world.
We can leave him on his own if we have to, he eats whenever we are around to feed him. No set routine. He chills lots on the sofa and plays with his toys. He's currently sat on my lap snoring away.
I think it's important that the effort is put in with a dog- they need company, exercise and food. You will also need patience for the odd accident and when he raids the bin and you have a stupid vet bill!
I think there are lots of people who think you need to devote your entire waking life to your dog once you have it and I completely disagree- they need to fit around your life not the other way round and it is easily achieved with training and patience.

[tinstar]

tinstar to be fair most people like myself have cameras where we can watch and hear what our dogs are doing when we are not there. I know exactly if my dog is upset.

Biteyshark - I'm 100% certain that most people don't monitor their dogs via camera when they leave them at home all day.

Leaving aside the obvious signs a dog is distressed, how do you know if your dog is happy or fed up/lonely? As I said earlier, not chewing the place up or howling does not mean a dog is happy.

[BiteyShark]

tinstar the majority of people I know do have cameras. I have headphones on so I can hear my dog even if I am not staring at the screen. Cameras also vibrate when they pick up movement so again I know if he has moved even though I may not be watching the screen at that time.

I don't leave mine for longer than 3 hours but I still watch and listen to him. I know exactly when he is upset and stressed simply because he had a bout of separation anxiety after being admitted to the vets for many days and nights. So yes I am fully aware of how he behaves when he is upset and stressed compared to when he isn't.

[snowone]

We got a dog last Xmas - we both work full time and have a daughter. It's been the hardest thing we have ever done (including having a baby). We realised very quickly that our dog would not be able to be left alone for long periods so we now send him to doggy day care full time, it's very reasonably priced at £60 p/w but is another extra cost we have to pay weekly.

[tinstar]

Biteyshark - okay well you should have said most people you know rather than "people like myself (sic)".

I repeat, you may be able to see when your dog is upset because of his behaviour, but how can you tell if he's fed up? Or does he only ever do 'happy' and 'upset' - nothing in between?

[BiteyShark]

The thing is you only have to look at threads on here about how lots of dogs are bored and unhappy and ignored even though that person is at home all the time. Yet people get vilified for working and having a dog because it's an easy thing to say well it's cruel.

It's only cruel if you don't meet the dogs needs and actually most people that work and pay for dog walkers or daycare are set up quite nicely compared to those that suddenly find their circumstances have changed and they can't or won't find the money to pay for the care that is needed because they have never had to consider that in the first place.

[BiteyShark]

tinstar now you are just being argumentative.

My dog is bloody upset right now because I won't go outside and play ball with him.

He's just been on a 90 minute off lead hike across countryside, playing ball, hunting objects and generally running about at high speed as he's a spaniel. But yes he's annoyed and unhappy and keeps sighing at me because he still wants to play ball. I could make him happy and play ball or I could do the responsible thing and stay inside because too much running about for a ball will cause him an injury and he would not stop until he dropped through exhaustion.

So should I always make my dog happy? No of course not.

Should I always be at home 24/7 because my dog loves me. No unless you honestly believe you must be attached to each other forever for the next 15 odd years. If you think that fine knock yourself out but most people don't.

[tinstar]

Biteyshark - now you're just being obtuse. My original question, not aimed at you but taken personally by you, was directed at the numerous people who say their dogs are "fine" when left all day or for long periods of time. Of course they'd like to think that, but they don't really know do they? The fact that their house hasn't been wrecked does not mean the dog is "fine".

It's a bit crass to compare a dog being unhappy because its owner won't play ball after a 90 minute walk with the unhappiness a dog might feel left on its own all day.

Equally ridiculous to suggest I'm saying dogs should be with their owners 24/7. Clearly that would be impossible.

[BiteyShark]

I don't think it is being obtuse. Not every dog can cope with being left for any length of time.

But saying that no owner knows whether their dog is upset, lonely or unhappy is daft as well. I am sometimes lonely but it doesn't make my life miserable. Even if a dog is a bit lonely until their owner comes home and lavishes attention on them doesn't make their life miserable as well.

Saying but how do you know they are happy just because they don't howl or destroy the house is just trying to make anyone who works feel crap because you clearly don't agree with that.

And actually in my opinion if a dog doesn't howl, doesn't destroy the house, has no behavioural issues, gets fed, loved played with and walked sounds like a bloody good life to me.

[tinstar]

And actually in my opinion if a dog doesn't howl, doesn't destroy the house, has no behavioural issues, gets fed, loved played with and walked sounds like a bloody good life to me.

As long as it gets fed, loved, played with and walked ...... but not during working hours 🙄

[starcrossedseahorse]

OP you will see some very differing views on dog care here.

Imo, people who really understand and care about dogs do not leave them alone all day - it is just not the right thing to do and I get annoyed with people who will argue til they are blue in the face that it is.
Dogs need love, affection, companionship and care and far too many people will give you the line that their dog is 'fine' being left all day, alone and unable to pee. They are resigned to it, that's all. A dog walker mid way through the day is a compromise in a less than ideal situation.

It sounds like you need to get out in the fresh air as you might feel a bit down? If so, I hear you on that. In the week, you do not need a dog to get you out for a walk and at the weekend why don't you volunteer to walk dogs at your local shelter? They will be thrilled with you and you will never meet more grateful dogs.

Please do remember that your desire for a dog must never outweigh the needs of the animal.

Best of luck.

[BiteyShark]

tinstar well I guess we will have to agree to disagree on what constitutes a good life for a dog because yes I don't think that means a dog has a shit life and should go to someone who happens to be in the house for longer.

As I said before people neglect dogs and can be at home all day. It doesn't make them a better owner.

[starcrossedseahorse]

Adorelabradors the situation you describe where the pup was caged all day whilst the owner was at work is just appalling and also increasingly common.
I have no hesitation in calling that cruelty and even the RSPCA would agree as it violates the five freedoms. So bloody sad.