Need to re-home my dog

[googlybeat]

Hi
Please no judgers. I do realise how nieve I've been in retrospect.
We've been looking to get a dog for a few years but wanted to wait till the children were older.
Looking on pets for homes we found a dog which needed rehoming from a private ad.
We met the dog and she appeared perfect.
Previous owner had trained her and said she was really well behaved.
When we got her home she seemed to have the usual adjustment issues. Accidents on the floor and chewing which quickly stopped.
However, she is very aggressive with other dogs. This is our first dog and I didn't want a puppy because I was concerned about my inexperience. Instead we now have an older and much bigger dog with serious behavioural issues. To be honest I'm now scared of her and am very edgy with the kids near her.
She may be a wonderful pet to someone with more experience to take her in hand but I don't have that to offer.
Tried to contact the previous owner who isn't interested and became aggressive himself. Said we knew what we were taking on.
Feel completey trapped by this situation and don't know where to go from here.
Any help appreciated.
Thanks

[pigsDOfly]

Agree, mustbemad. Sometimes there's no going anywhere with an impossible situation; not good for the OP or the dog.

I think it's more a case that the OP doesn't know how to work with the dog rather not being willing to.

She clearly can't go on living in fear of this dog and I think you're right, try all the rescues she can, even the RSPCA, and then take it from there. It's very sad, but the safety of the humans involved in this must come first.

[mustbemad17]

Nessie that's my fear. We have gone from dog aggression to aggression around the house with no real explanation.

I don't say it often but if OP isn't willing to work with the dog in the interim the kindest - and safest - thing would be to visit the vet. The longer it goes unchecked, the longer the dog isn't exercised & worked with, the more wound up she will get. Then there really will be issues

[Nesssie]

finding one to take on a dog that is being described as aggressive won't happen overnight

Probably won't happen at all I'm afraid. Waiting lists can be 6 months for these types of dogs even without behavioural issues, and by then I'll bet the dogs behaviour has worsened to the point of unrehomable, or the OP has sold it on.


You have to be really committed to have a reactive dog, and now the OP is saying aggression in the house around her children? I think we all know what is going to actually going to happen to this dog, and maybe it is for the best as it doesn't sound like this is going to end well.

[mustbemad17]

But finding a rescue will take time. Believe me, i know! Hence why OP needs to find ways to ensure the dog is still getting what she needs...otherwise the poor thing will go stir crazy & the situation will change. Rescues are full to bursting, even breed specific ones; finding one to take on a dog that is being described as aggressive won't happen overnight

[SpanielsAreNuts]

OP I would start by talking to bull mastiff rescues, as although this is a cross he will have a lot of the same issues around handling and rehoming that pure mastiffs often have. So if a bull mastiff specific rescue will take him they are probably his best option.

If this was a smaller more manageable breed and you didn't have young DC then I would have said good behaviourist, muzzle train and "watch me" technique, could all make it possible to keep this dog. But this isn't a small dog that you have the strength to hold when things do go wrong. Add to that, that you are totally inexperienced with dogs and I think keeping him is a huge no.

And I say this as someone who had to retrain my disabled brother's dog aggressive Jack Russell cross who came from a well respected local rescue who had lied about the dog (God knows how they have such a good reputation locally). As we progressed we also had my dogs to help with very careful, micromanaged socialisation. It isn't easy, even with a small dog and takes a long time to sort - my brother's dog took over a year of focused work and still isn't perfect - she likes spaniels now (that's what I have) and will happily have a quick sniff of those but is still wary and uncertain of all other dogs and only ok if they don't approach her.

[pigsDOfly]

Whether the dog is only dog aggressive or not the OP is fearful of it; it's a large powerful dog, she has children and doesn't want this dog around them.

She's bitten off more than she can chew and she needs to rehome it ASAP because she doesn't have the wherewithal to deal with the situation.

It's not ideal but from the sound of it there's no going back from that and she's trying to right the mistake she's made in the only way she can.

Arguing about who's right and who's wrong in their opinions isn't helping the OP. She needs constructive advice.

Agree the RSPCA is not the best place to go but there are plenty of other rescues and there might be one that's able to help if the OP is willing to put in the effort to find one.

[mustbemad17]

OP has not answered WHY she is worried about the dog at home. All we have is 'dog aggression' - unless her 'children' are in fact of the four legged kind i'm failing to make the connection? There is a HUGE difference between an aggressive dog that will snap at anything that moves, in which case no way would i advocate it being kept at home, and a dog that simply hates other dogs.

I am all for the dog being handed to a decent rescue - in this case NOT the RSPCA as OP might as well just have the dog PTS herself. But in the mean time OP has to deal with the issues to some extent...unless she plans to keep the dog locked in the house until a rescue space can be found?

[sobersandra]

Ive got a reactive dog and it's bloody hard work.

For all the posters calling you names - give it a rest. All this does is put people off seeking advice.

In our case we had loads more time and resources to throw at the problem but it was hard work and I'm not sure I'd do it again.

For now - safe space in the home; crate/stair gate.

Consult a qualified behaviourist.

Don't worry about going out. Think about brain games to tire her out without the stress of being around others. There are loads of things you can do as a stop gap whilst you think about how to proceed.

Please keep posting

[Wolfiefan]

An expert? No.
Frothing about a dog that could end up dead through no fault of its own? Yep.
Few rescues have the time and resources to take in a truly dog aggressive dog. Kennels are about the worst place for a dog like that.

[tabulahrasa]

“I'd start calling rescues, breed rescues where you can and look to re home ASAP.”

The issue is that rescues are always full, she’ll have to go on a waiting list, but the OP will still have the dog in that time.

Also realistically, that’s not an easy mix of breeds to rehome at the best of times, add in a behavioural issue and you’re potentially looking at a dog in kennels for a very very long time, or a dog being PTS.

[Tansytaylor]

Yes breed rescues who specialise in bull mastiffs or Staffies. They exist and they'll help where they can - I'm well aware this is a mongrel - unless you're trying to make me feel stupid now? You won't, by the way.

And no, no limit of course. I only dip in now and again and when I do, you're generally here, berating and frothing and setting yourself up as some sort of expert

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

In the great scheme of things, isn't this about what is best for the dog?

(Please take no offence, OP) But at the moment, her needs are not being met and she may become a liability and a danger to herself and others around her.

She needs boundaries, training and an appropriate environment which she doesn't seem to be getting. Keeping her without the appropriate handling skills and experience is completely irresponsible, particularly when those in the household, namely the young children are scared of her.

This is about what is best for the dog, not whether the OP did the wrong thing or whether she was stupid or whether Wolfie is frothing at the bloody mouth.

OP is getting vilified when she was in fact sold the dog under false pretences, again I say naively and irresponsibly, but it was a mistake she is trying to rectify.

Let's hope that it will be lucky number three should OP decide to rehome her and that she will be given the life she deserves.

[Wolfiefan]

This isn't a breed so breed rescues?
Rescues may well PTS a dog handed over as aggressive. Lots of people are glossing over that.
I am here a lot. I wasn't aware there was a limit.

[Tansytaylor]

I agree with icantcope but then there is always one poster who is on every single thread as an 'expert' or just an angry berating poster. You do seem to just be in here all the time Wolfie and you're the first with the FFS exclamations that go on and on and on

OP - you've taken on quite the mix of breeds here! My advice - and yes, I'm allowed to offer an opinion - is to ignore posters advising you to keep an aggressive bull mastiff cross when you have children. You say you're frightened of the dog too.

I'd start calling rescues, breed rescues where you can and look to re home ASAP.

[Wolfiefan]

I shall continue to froth when idiots make bad decisions and animals suffer.
I'm not lonely thanks.
None of my advice is terrible. Not sure what exactly you're referring to.
Really don't think OP is actually looking for advice. Hasn't engaged with any posts asking for details about the behaviour of the dog or suggesting ways forward.

[tabulahrasa]

“When she see's another dog she stares ignores any attempt to lead away or distract. Then she lunges towards it barking and snarling.”

Ok, so... if you do manage to move her, does she just calm down again? Or are you not managing to move her? And what are you walking her on? Just a collar and lead?...

I know it’s a lot of questions, I’m not going to give you behavioural advice as yes, you need to get a referral to a qualified behaviourist from a vet.

But I’m hoping I can give you some short term stuff that will mean you can manage her and then feel more confident.

[ICantCopeAnymore]

I'm not being insulting. I'm genuinely concerned.

[TropicPlunder]

Ok ok....all flogging is detracting from the good advice OP has been given. I think Wolfie hasn't shown herself in the best light, but trading insults is ridiculous. OP is trying to make important decisions here....I guess she might not bother looking for advice here next time. So sorry OP, hope you can pick out the constructive bits

[ICantCopeAnymore]

Wolfie - genuine question. Not meant to be goady, but do you actually do much else other than post on Mumsnet? Even single thread I read, you are on, and usually being derogatory. I kind of feel sorry for you - are you lonely?

Also, you're a first time dog owner aren't you? Some of your dog advice I fully agree with. Some is terrible - I'm not sure if people realise that you're really inexperienced and I'm concerned one day someone will take you seriously.

I hope that you're OK. There are lots of red flags.

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

@boatass agreed.

I do wonder if they would be so aggressive and vitriolic if they were saying this to the OP and others in real life as opposed to doing it from behind a keyboard.

I think it's very easy for a lot of commenters here to forget they are speaking to real people who are struggling.

Having a bit of empathy and compassion for all those involved, not just the dog, wouldn't necessarily be too difficult.

[boatass]

@wolfiefan is enjoying frothing over this dog and how unfair it is for OP not to want it. Better use some gum for the gurning Wolfie 😂 pathetic

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

@wolfiefan

Don't call her an idiot; she's not an idiot.

She made a mistake and she's trying to do what's best for all parties involved.

It is idiotic to assume that this can all be resolved with a few weeks of training or a firm hand, she's frightened for herself and her kids ffs.

She could drive her out to the middle of nowhere and abandon her, god knows many would but she's trying to find a solution for what is best for the dog.

She's consulting a behaviourist and she's trying the muzzle, she's not giving up on her yet.

So back off her; she's trying!

[ivenoideawhatimdoing]

@boatass Well bloody said. The OP has made a grave error in judgement, there's no need to tar and feather her for it. She's trying to put her kids first, no one can blame her for that. If you are doing, have a good look at yourself, she came for some support.

I am a dog person through and through, but I am also a mother and if I was frightened for my kids, there's one solution, the dog sadly has to go.

OP, you made a very naïve thing but it's the mature thing to hold your hands up and say this isn't working, she deserves a home where someone can manage her appropriately and safely.

I think the main thing you can do, is try and be as confident as you can. See the behaviourist and listen to what they advise, you've had some good advice on here, especially with the muzzle.

Try it for a couple more weeks and see if there is an improvement, get signed up for training if you can.

If the situation has not improved, or deteriorates any further during that time I think you have to make the hard decision to contact the RSPCA or another rescue centre.

You need to cool off getting another dog for a few years and do not buy from an online site again.

[boatass]

The idiots on this forum want to flog you for not wanting an aggressive dog.

Which of you are going to take it then? Go on. As you’re all so committed m