We have had our 6 year old lhasa apso for 4 years. We got him from pets4homes (I know how bad that is now but didn't at the time and desperately wanted a lhasa but not a puppy). He is a gorgeous dog. So loving and calm and brilliant with the dds (13 and 10). He was fine for the first couple of years when we used to leave him to go out and would happily stay a good 4 hours on his own. Suddenly one day a couple of years ago we came home and everything had been knocked off the window sills. It was really odd but we thought something may have just spooked him. After that it got gradually worse. Even if we left him for an hour he would chew through wires, scratch at doors and break stuff. He used to scratch so hard his paws would bleed. We had to introduce a crate. We did this gradually and he loved being in it when we were home but when we ever went out he would try to escape the crate to such an extent we would come home and he would be dripping with saliva and blood. He has broken out of two crates now, damaged his teeth and paws and is trying to make his way through a third. Myself and dh have changed our work patterns so he is never left all day or for long periods. Only if we go out for a meal as a family or when my dh is working away and I need to go to the school. Every time we come back it is so distressing not to mention the absolute hell my poor dog is going through. He physically shakes when we get ready to leave home. I have read such a lot on this and I have tried all the training recommended (get ready to leave but don't, etc). We always leave a radio/tv on but it doesn't help. He also barks the WHOLE time we are away so is annoying neighbours. He is fine in the car but obviously with the warm weather I can't keep leaving him the car. We really are at our wits end. I have spent another weekend unable to take the dds to see a film they wanted or to do anything as I can't leave him on his own so it is really affecting their lives too.
I strongly feel he needs to be with someone who never goes out and would make an excellent companion for an older person. I called a dog rescue up who have put us in touch with a foster carer. She has spoken to me and said she has a place for him at her house where he will go until they find him a permanent home (which she is confident she can even after I told her everything). She told me that we need to be sure because once signed over we can never get him back. I spent most of yesterday in tears. The thought of dropping him off with a stranger miles away and never seeing him again makes me and the rest of the family distraught. Likewise the thought of seeing him in such major distress every time we go out is also awful. We all love him so much and want to do the right thing. We don't have anyone that could sit with him every time we go out and being a young family he does need to be left some of the time.
What should I do 
. They are holding his place for a week so I need to decide.
If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.
The doghouse
Please help me avoid rehoming my dog [sad]
BLACKTUESDAY1 · 15/05/2016 10:57
If you are able, find a behaviourist who you get on with. You have had 2 years of ok behaviour and then you suggest your ddog's behaviour changed. Something could have triggered the change, and the behaviour has become worse. Any decent behaviourist would spend the time asking the right questions as to what could have altered the situation. When I have been truly stuck I have trawled the dog magazine problem pages and phoned the people who publish their responses as they usually run a practice. It is horrible to be responsible for an animal in pain. 
. There are masses of things we can do to happify our relationship with dogs. Most involve a change in our behaviour or attitude which sounds simple, but best go through a well qualified behaviourist to find the most appropriate way for you and your dog.
Oh god I know. At least you'd have the comfort of knowing he was happy and settled and not stressed and hurt. It's not like your having to pts or anything, it could be worse. So sorry though.
Thanks so much for all your replies. We thought about another dog but were told that rarely works and he can transfer his behaviour on to another dog and that would be truly terrible. He is only happy and content when someone is at home with him. I think i know there are no other options for us but i am going to find it so hard to cope when he's gone, sounds silly and i know he's only a dog but he's one of 'us"
He sleeps on his cushion in my room at night and always has. He loves going to bed and makes his way up there when i turn tv/lights off. Dh works away 4 nights a week so he is good company. We take him on every school run and i have left him in the car when shopping etc but it is too hot for that now. Sometimes we have to go out without much warning. Eg daughter had asthma attack and i had to go to hospital, school phoned to tell me dd got star of the week and to invite me to assembly....things that make it impossible to arrange a dog sitter. We are unable to even go out for a meal as a family. I just wish he wouldnt do it...he must know we are coming back!
No-one never needs to go out
In your world, perhaps. In my world I have to go to work occasionally and my young children certainly can't take themselves to school.
Op would it be possible for him to have a dog sitter for set periods every week? So you could do stuff at those times? Can you take him with you when you take the children to school? You say he's fine in the car.
What's he like at night?
Thank you all for being so kind. I will miss him much more than he will miss me
oh OP how sad for you but i tend to agree that the rehoming scenario you describe does sound positive and in your position id be doing the same. Yes dog will miss you to start but i think in the long run will be happier
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Gosh, that is awful.
It is going to be difficult to rehome a dog that can't be left alone, ever.
Was the behaviourist you saw an expert in separation anxiety? Maybe get in touch again and say 'this isn't working'.
Or see a different behaviourist? I know their approaches can vary a lot.
I feel for you - I'd be beside myself.
Just posting here in the hope someone may have a suggestion that we haven't tried yet but i know that is a long shot
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