Considering rehoming my beloved girl. please don't flame me :(

[whippetlove]

We have a 19 months old whippet we have had since a pup.
She has been brilliant and I love her very much. She is currently cuddled up to my legs on the bed and a total delight in the house. She is a bundle of energy out of the house but she fit our family so well. Even when we lost our home and were forced to move into a tiny flat she has been no problem (she gets regular walks)

My problem is not with her at all.

My problem is dd who has aspergers amongst other thing has become very agressive over the last six months. She is absolutely exploding, lashing out and throwing things, screaming and banging around the house. While she has not intentionally physically gone for the dog she has caught her with things thrown at me and screamed at her. I am disciplining dd and we are waiting to see camhs and attempting to keep them separate but I am in a tiny flat with an aggressive teenager who is bigger and stronger than me and going beserk.
I love our dog, I would be absolutely heartbroken if I were to lose her but she is started to be scared when dd explodes, even if it is just verbally and it isn't fair on her. I am also worried that dd may unintentionally hurt her.

I don't know what the hell to do 😢

[mrslaughan]

Have a look at just whippets rescue.....
I would love to say try a medium term foster situation, but realistically I know that working through your child's behaviour will take awhile.
I am so sorry for you - it's a bloody awful situation to be in.

[Sadik]

I'm so sorry, as others have said, you're in an impossible situation.

Might it be worth asking around friends in your area to ask if any could long term foster for you? So you'd know she wouldn't be moved from home to home.

Due to having older parents with elderly friends, I've known several dogs that have had to be fostered during long hospital stays with the aim of going home if possible, or being adopted if needed. I don't know if it's just where we live (very doggy rural area with a lot of retired people), but they've all been found good homes with loving people who are happy to take them on long or short term.

[georgedawes]

Good luck. You sound a lovely owner.

[whippetlove]

Thanks all. I have contacted just whippet for advice.

[TrionicLettuce]

I'm sorry you're facing this whippetlove, I can't imagine how hard it must be

There are a couple of dedicated whippet rescues; JR Whippet Rescue and Just Whippets Rescue.

It also might be worth getting in touch with your regional whippet breed club (you can see a list of all the regional clubs here, most have websites if you google the individual club) and seeing if there are any whippet folks local to you that could help or would be interested in rehoming her.

If I was able and reasonably local to you I'd offer to have her for as long as you needed (I've already got three whippets and one more wouldn't make much of a difference) but non-whippet DDog2 isn't keen on other bitches

[whippetlove]

That lock looks good thank you.

I know you are right Grey i don't want that for her.

[Greyhorses]

I'm sorry your in this situation but I do think the best thing for the dog is to be rehomed

Both of mine are fear aggressive from bad experiences, one of which was hit and kicked by a child with autism. He is still petrified of noise and shouting now 6 years later. The more the dog is exposed to this the more miserable the dog is likley to be and I would be looking to rehome her asap before any more damage is done.
In the meantime I would crate her somewhere quiet so she is safe and not allow any further contact.

Whippets usually rehome really easily so I would consult a good rescue asap.

[BernardlookImaprostituterobotf]

Ffs, crapped up the lock link, there should be no 'this' on the end of the URL it meant to hot link it.

[BernardlookImaprostituterobotf]

I'm so sorry this sounds so hard for you all.

I have no better advice than has already been said but wonder if www.lifelock.co.uk/images-and-videos/this or something like it, even used with a padlock, might help. Locked door, no unhappy landlord.

Possibly one of these places might be able to help if you speak to them, although sadly it looks like their remits are very narrow fostering
I wish you all the very best, CAMHS can be a difficult journey but it's so clear how much you love them both, whatever you decide will be the right thing. Heartbreaking for you but no reason for guilt.

[whippetlove]

Sorry missed your question. The breeder is no longer in the UK so that's not an option.

[whippetlove]

Fostering is an option but I don't know how long it would be for and worry about my girl being shifted to a foster home, getting settled with them and then if things haven't improved at home being shifted again to another house. I don't want that for her

I have talked in an appropriate way to dd about her behaviour and the fact if she keeps being scaring the dog she is going to make her frightened and nervous and the dog won't want to play with her. She is already pulling away if dd goes near her. She gets very angry about this and threatens/physically attacks me.

She has always has meltdowns but the pure anger aggression towards me is relatively new

[MaynJune]

I feel for you, OP. You are having an extremely difficult time.

You would be doing the dog a great kindness in rehoming her. Whippets are very sensitive to atmospheres like this.

[MumsKnitter]

I disagree, Arfarfanarf. I too have Aspergers as do my daughters. We do still have choices over our behaviour. I'm very hopeful that some good will come of OP's daughter's referral to CAHMS. My daughters were both helped greatly to see that they did have choices about they reacted to situations, and were helped to make better ones. A wake up call may be possible. The OP knows her daughter best.

[CMOTDibbler]

It does sound as you are trying desperatly in really tough circumstances to do the best for ddog and your dd - but rehoming ddog does seem like the best thing to do in the circumstances.

Whippets get rehomed very easily, so contact one of the specialist sighthound charities - EGLR are one that my dogs came through and I know they often rehome dogs from loving homes who just can't keep them anymore.

[georgedawes]

Would the breeder take the dog back?

[Salene]

Oh how heart breaking for you but totally understandable , why don't you try a local whippet charity, they may be able to help you rehome and that way they always own the dog and keep a eye on it.

[DreamingofItaly]

I think you should try to find foster care for your whippet. Saying that, I've got puppies at the same time as having older dogs and while it can take time, they adjust to each other so your parents could be an option if they are willing.

I understand your pain and you are being very responsible here, but do you think you may resent your DD if you have to rehome your Ddog? Do you think your daughter might resent you if you rehome Ddog?

You sound hopeful that this is temporary and there are a lot of people out there who will foster, you could talk to a couple of charities, whippet specific ones perhaps?

Good luck OP

[Kelandry]

Would your dd calm down if she knew the family pet was going to be rehomed? Might be a wake up call to her behaviour? Xx

[neonrainbow]

Could you find a foster carer for a few months to see how dc goes? If it's then still not possible to have the dog then rehome then? If help for dc is on the horizon then you may regret rehoming the dog.

[ChubbyPolecat]

Do you think you could find someone willing to look after her for a few months? Then you could see how things go with your dd and potentially not lose your dog forever

[georgedawes]

I think you're doing the right thing. Your dog sounds lovely and has a chance to find a good home at this age. I wouldn't leave it until she becomes fearful as this will make it much harder to rehabilitate her. You sound like a lovely owner.