I just got told off for letting my dog run in an empty playground

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Was just packing up the kids to go home. Nobody around. Playground deserted. Car park deserted. Let the dog out of the car for two minutes - we'd been for a long walk before we went to the playground - as he'd been tethered in for an hour, although the boot was open. He ran under the fence to join the kids and was mooching about on the grass for about a minute. No harm done, no one there, no one to offend. Obviously didn't poo or anything.

Kids back in car, dog in boot, ready to go. Elderly man appears out of nowhere and tells me off. Very patronising, explaining that people don't want to step in dog poo. Well yes I know that, very sorry, but no harm done, dog didn't poo, didn't even cock his leg. Very sorry etc. Shut car door.

Old man opens my car door, stands practically in door frame so I can't shut the door and proceeds to carry on berating me. I can't shut the door, he's about six inches from my face.

I'm afraid I was very rude. I thundered 'DO YOU MIND!' about three times before he got out of the way and I could shut the door.

I can't show my face there again can I?

[gandalf456]

He lost his higher ground when he opened your door and went in your face. Obviously your dog shouldn't go into the park but there's a limit to how he should react to that. His reaction was excessive

[puffylovett]

Dog wee would be the least of worries in our local playground. More like fag butts, spliff ends, broken beer bottles and the odd dirty hypodermic needle.

Bloke shouldn't have opened your car door, that was bang out of order

[pinkcan]

Both unreasonable imo. Man was overly aggressive (although had a point re your dog going in playground) and you should have prevented your dog from going in the playground.

Most people (dog owners or not) have seen so much antisocial behaviour from dog owners. I bet this man has and now he has zero tolerance. Me personally, I love dogs and want one but in the past week, I took my kids on a bike ride on a route intended for kids and there was a massive dog poo at the start. Additionally, I live in one of those places where you aren't allowed to fence in your front garden (housing estate) so people regularly allow their dogs to crap in my front garden and don't pick it up. I always check before I mow it. Once I checked, nipped indoors for a drink and whilst I did that a dog shat and I got it all over my mower, spent and hour trying to get it off an upside down mower. People let their dogs crap outside the gates of the primary school - teachers have to pick it up or face having dog shit traipsed into their classroom. I would have been annoyed seeing your dog in a playground tbh, I don't take my dc to them for this reason. Some people like their dog to run around in the fenced in playground whilst they sit on the bench and smoke around here.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I most likely would have punched him in the face.

What a mature and well thought-out response.

[SweetAdeline]

noah my dm used to pick up one of her dogs in the last few months of its life. Poor dog was nearly blind and just couldn't cope with being approached by other dogs even if they were on the lead. She isn't loopy, just didn't want the dog to be unnecessarily distressed.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Well you'll probably think I'm mad but I rang the 101 number for advice. It was really playing on my mind the way he spoke to me and got between me and my car door and wouldn't let me leave. And what also struck me was how did he know the dog was in the playground unless he was watching my little girls in there? The policewoman said of course it didn't matter that the dog got in the playground, there was no harm done at all and yes his behaviour was inappropriate. I told her I work in a school so I know about safeguarding and am DBS checked and his behaviour just felt inappropriate and intimidating. I said I bet he wouldn't have done that had I been a strapping bloke. I didn't know whether I was being daft but then I don't know how many times he's done that before or might do it again and the whole thing was just bloody creepy. Another woman might not have the ability to shout at him and I don't want it to go unreported.

I'm probably being bonkers but I couldn't sleep last night for thinking about it. It did actually rather creep me out. He could have been physical if he'd wanted to, there was nothing I could have done, I was strapped in the seat!

Anyway. Like I said you'll all think I'm mad but I feel better for having told someone about it.

[Waltermittythesequel]

So now he's a paedophile?

[NoahVale]

no, he is just a bad old bugger, who enjoys intimidating people and he hates dogs in the play ground.
he does have a point though.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

I don't think you're mad. I think you were right to feel physically intimidated by him (even though I think you were wrong re dog).
There is a particular way older men often feel able to talk down to women in public. I got lectured recently by an old man when my 6yo got out of my sight and picked a daffodil on the village green. I couldn't work out why I felt so upset by it (I went home and cried) and then I realised that most people would simply not have talked to me in that tone - I am capable of being alerted to my kids being naughty without getting upset but then, most people would inform me in a nicer way. There is a particular style of telling off I have only seen from a certain type of old man, directed to people they think are lesser like women. They wouldn't talk to dh like that.

[yumyumpoppycat]

His behaviour in opening your car door was totally unreasonable I can see why you reported it.

The only problem I would say with letting the dog run in the empty playground is that you don't know when someone else will arrive to use the playground and they might not feel confident to ask you to put your dog on the other side of the fence and just walk on. My heart would have sunk if I arrived at a playground and a dog was running inside it but I wouldn't say anything.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

I'd have been tempted to drive off, albeit slowly.

[SuburbanRhonda]

I bet you feel loads better now you can shift all the attention onto his behaviour and away from your arrogance in assuming the rules don't apply to you. And accusing him of being a pervert as well. Well done you.

[gandalf456]

Yeah well done sub

[bigbuttons]

Yes OP I think you're mad and you think I'm a pratt.
You have a done grand job in absolving yourself and making it all about him.
It would be great if you could make sure that your dog isn't allowed to play in a playground again, although from your attitude you think that rules don't apply to you anyway.
I refer back to my first point.

[hownottofuckup]

Are you taking the piss?

[nmg85]

YABU letting the dog go in an area where it shouldn't even if nobody around. He was unreasonable to act like he did although he was probably fed up of seeing people do the same and you got the brunt, no excuse for his action but I don't agree with what you did.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Well I didn't deliberately take my dog for a walk in a playground, can I just point that out again. I let him out to stretch his legs in the empty car park. He went through the bloody fence. I walked down to the gate and called him back. At gone six at night with nobody about. I am perfectly able to judge my own dog's behaviour and he has never been allowed in a playground before so I am aware that the rules apply to me, thanks.

I'm not used to being spoken to like that either. He might have happened to see the dog and not realise that he'd only just darted in there but he could have asked instead of launching into his tirade at me.

I've taken dog ownership seriously all my life and worked hard on my dogs obedience and recall and actually he's pretty good, he came straight back once called and went straight back to the car. No problem.

Thanks to the reasonable people who have supported me and not jumped to professionally offended outrage.

[bigbuttons]

I'm not offended in the least, nor am I outraged.
Your dog went where it shouldn't and you were called on it.
Presumably the 'reasonable people' are the ones who agree with you then?

[cheerfulmary]

This thread is hysterical only on MN. OP was in the wrong and the member of the public is now an abuser, stalker, misogynist and paedophile..... ha ha

[Caprinihahahaha]

Lol at 'reasonable people'
Or, as I call them, people who totally agree with me

[mummyflood]

Oh dear. The OP does not seem to be disputing that her dog shouldn't have been in the play area. It was not ''allowed'' or taken in there, it nipped in and was immediately recalled. Nor is she saying that rules don't apply to her.

If the fence is designed to keep dogs out of the area, perhaps it should be more suitable. If a dog is able to get under it, then maybe it is not fit for purpose.

OP I too don't think you are mad for ringing 101. Outrageous behaviour by the man. Whatever point he was trying to make, and regardless of the perceived rights and wrongs, his behaviour from the point he opened your car door was threatening in anyones book.

[AugustaFinkNottle]

Pulling open someone's car door to harangue them and preventing them from getting away is, on any interpretation, unpleasant and bullying behaviour. The man had already told her off, she had already explained and apologised. From that point onwards, his conduct was wholly unjustified. I really very strongly doubt that he would have behaved the same way with a man.

[Newes]

I'd have screamed really loudly when he opened my car door and kept on screaming until he fucked off.

[Believeitornot]

Well you were in the wrong. Can't argue with that.

He was an idiot though! Maybe he was fed up of people letting their dogs in the playground - I've seen people do it who think it is ok. No, no it isn't.

[gandalf456]

Give up op. People have been murdered for less.