What would you do?

[Buttholelane]

I am looking after a friends animals for the week, the cat's litter tray needs changing but they didn't leave me enough litter, I don't think the food provided is going to last for the duration of their holiday, I have just got home and can hear the dogs howling :( (I live in the same street)
The dogs haven't been eating that well, they've eaten, just not as much as I would like.
What should i do?
I'm loathed to buy more cat litter and food because I can't really afford it, the dogs are making me sad, are they lonely? Sick? I don't know what to do to cheer them up?
I can't bring them here because I have a dog also and a cat and a baby....

[SunshineAndShadows]

Hey Butt hope things have settled down. Well done on getting the owners back, and good luck on working out the relationship stuff. Do think about posting on the relationship boards, your partner sounds unsupportive to say the least

[EasyToEatTiger]

It's a bugger when it's all left to you. You can go to relationship counselling alone. It can be really helpful as they won't let you bang on about the misgivings of your other half, but retrain the focus back to you, which can be a massive relief. Then you can leave his problems firmly with him and get on with your own stuff. I hope your dog is offering lots of love and support!

[Buttholelane]

I couldn't agree more nimpy.
He has issues.
He agreed to go counselling but I haven't found one yet.
He doesn't believe he has a problem.

And yes they were fine about it.

[NimpyWWindowmash]

Your husband sounds such a dick

Not at all normal to hurt your partner as much as you can by being viscious, during a row.

You can shout, disagree, be angry, but it is not a campaign where you influct as much emotional hurt as you can.

It sounds sounds very horribly unhealthy and like, deep down, he has a nast character. Realky nasty.

[badoomtish]

Sorry to hear this :( I agree that the relationships board is probably a good place to get sensible support. Good luck x

[SunshineAndShadows]

Taunt=twunt

[SunshineAndShadows]

Aw OP this sucks Glad your neighbours are back - well done - were they ok with you?

Your H sounds like a taunt. Cheating or no cheating, do you want to be with someone who treats you with such contempt? Why not try a thread in the relationships board?
Hope you're ok

[Buttholelane]

Thank you for the kind words.

Not really :(
My husband stayed at his parents for a bit last time.

He has always been fairly bad tempered and showed above and beyond 'normal' behaviour in a row, ie going out of way to hurt 'because it's a fight'.
It's reached a critical point, I don't think he fully realises just how critical.
My whole perception of him has changed and after the cheating comment I have to wonder if this is why he is so cranky. If something is happening or has happened and he is stressed keeping it secret.
I refuse to believe it was a lie to be honest.
Why would you just say something like that under your breath??

[EasyToEatTiger]

You poor thing. It sounds as though life is well above you and jumping on top of you. Is there anywhere you can go and feel safe to watch it from a distance? It's bloody wretched when relationships are awful and all we see in the other is the worst bits. We behave like primary age children.

When you start to feel pity for someone, they can't hurt you any more. To be cruel as he has been is ultimately childish and pitiful. Sad for him. Stupid oaf!

[Buttholelane]

They're back.

Had another row with husband.
Feel like I don't even want to be here anymore.
Twatbag is asleep upstairs, because he is a emotionless cunt like that, I am downstairs drinking wine.
He said under his breath walking out the room 'I wish I had cheated on you when I had the chance' - challenged him and apparently it was a lie, said because 'it's a row, knew it would hurt you'.
Bollocks.
You don't just come up with a lie like that and mutter it under your breath.
That's gOnna drive me crazy working out who she or he is...

[badoomtish]

What's the latest?

[Buttholelane]

Minimum?
The whole tray needs clearing!
I am waiting to hear back from them, if I don't hear by 5 I will buy two bags of the cheapest cat litter so £4 (1 bag won't do it) and sort out the tray tonight. I won't get food yet because they have enough for two or so days.
I am hoping they will feel really sorry for the dogs and come back tonight...

[Taz1212]

God, that's awful! For the kitty litter, change the minimum and as someone suggested, add shredded newspapers. For the dogs, that's absolutely unacceptable. They may or may not need walks, but they certainly need human company! I would bring them into your house when you are home and give them company even if it does mean disrupting the balance with your other pets- keep them in separate rooms if needed.

Your friend should have either cancelled their holiday, or if more than one adult is on the holiday, one should have gone and then ther should have stayed. Our puppy is going to homecare for two upcoming holidays and if anything falls through, either DH or I will be missing the holiday!

[badoomtish]

I think it's unlikely that the RSPCA will do anything if the OP hasn't contacted the owners already herself. And since she has already agreed to care for these dogs, she would be calling the RSPCA regarding the level of care she herself is providing.

Butt, I'm sorry that you were asked to do this at a time when you clearly had too much on your mind. However, now it is what it is and can't be allowed to continue. You need to start by calling the owners, explaining that the dogs need much more care than you can offer, and asking them to either arrange more cover or a house sitter, or to come home. They are going to be angry with you and so you might have to tell them about your situation with your DH, or just tell them that you have personal problems making it impossible to provide a proper level of care. But you are doing the right thing by taking steps to stop this.

[NimpyWWindowmash]

Then call rspca anonymously yourself.

[NimpyWWindowmash]

Sorry you got landed into this OP

I can see anyone would be scared to call RSPCA as these "nice people" might be very angry, and they know where you live, woukd they be a threat to you?

Call them to say about dog food/cat litter, and if you can manage a lie say a bloke in the street asked about the howling and threatened to call rspca.

[confusedandemployed]

This makes me so angry. Why are you even still debating it? You need to call the RSPCA, and NOW.
My NDN left her dog overnight on a few occasions last year. The first time I didn't quite register the fact until just before she got home.
The second time I called the RSPCA. They attended, but my NDN hadn't been away for 24 hours which is the point at which they can instigate a rescue. They did come back when she was home, talked to her about her dog's welfare and since then she's never done it again - which is good on her but I still wonder why grown adults need to be told this sort of thing.
We will probably never be on good terms but frankly I couldn't care less. The sort of person who does that to her dog isn't someone I'm interested in ingratiating.
Stop dithering and do the right thing.

[NetHuns]

Sorry OP my last post wasn't very helpful.
What's the weather like at yours?would it be possible to put your dog in the garden and have the old dogs in yours?even if its just for a few hours.

[NetHuns]

So sad..those poor old dogs

[EasyToEatTiger]

The RSPCA can be helpful, although I have my reservations about their politics sometimes. A relation's dog died while in kennels. It is really important to discuss what should happen in the worst circumstances. It must be awful for you OP, to have felt vulnerable when you agreed to doing this. Your vet may be able to offer advice. How really stupid of these people not to leave all the information you might need. Really really irresponsible.

[Penguito]

This has made me so sad reading this! I have an old dog, but I don't keep him shut indoors, he loves getting his lead on and going out for a sniff about. He may not go as fast as he used to or as far as he used to but it gets him out of the house and passes his day! I can't imagine ever leaving him for a week with someone only coming to let him go to the toilet twice a day- it's cruel. Dogs like company, is it any wonder they are howling.

[AlpacaLypse]

Sorry, loads of xposts.

[AlpacaLypse]

We look after other people's pets as a business. The set up you've been dumped with is absolutely unacceptable. We would have (a) turned the job down and (b) informed the RSPCA. Before anyone asks, we have been placed in this position twice in the eleven years we've been operating, and although there was no comeback with one of our reports, the other ended in prosecution and a lifetime ban on owning a pet.

Meanwhile... OP it's clear you're a nice person who's been dragged in against her better judgement. Much as I'm not a fan of the RSPCA in some respects (don't get me started about their ambivalent position of both enforcing and recommending the law) I do think you should ring, and ask their advice, as a concerned neighbour.

[Buttholelane]

Yes, I will phone tomorrow and update the thread accordingly.

[SunshineAndShadows]

Well done OP, I'm sure its tough for you and it sounds as if you're juggling a lot. But legally, you're responsible for the dogs whilst your friend is away and the current situation is totally unacceptable.