I don't like my new dogs:(

[BadDogOwner]

I've name changed because I am so ashamed and I feel like a horrid person.

We pick up our new dogs on new years day. Two boys that needed a home together. Beautiful dogs. Well behaved. We had met them before more than once and over 3 months and I really liked them.

They are just what I wanted. Perfect for us. I was so excited to get them but now they are home, I really don't like them. I don't even know why.

I am a very experienced dog owner and I know that getting a new dog (never mind two!) is really stressful and hard work but I am really shocked at my reaction.

I know it is really early days but I don't want them, I don't want to be around them and I don't like them. I feel miserable, anxious and like a complete failure and time waster. I can't seem to stop crying.

Please tell me this will get better? How do I fix this? I really would feel awful if I take them back.

[BadDogOwner]

I just typed a really long reply to everyone and its diappeared, I can't be bothered to type it all out again.

The dogs are more interested in me and DH that each other so I don't think their bond is much of an issue at the moment.

I have used a clicker and plan to with these dogs. I really what to do rally obedience with them as I loved it with my old dog.

Their impact on our life is as I expected it. If anything they are easier than I thought they one be!

I expected to feel overwhelmed and stressed by them and I do. I didn't expect to feel so negatively about them. I don't like them and I don't really want to be around them. I really hope I feel differently about them soon as this isn't fair on anyone.

[BadDogOwner]

Although I don't want to be around them, I am still looking after them. I have bathed them, groomed them, fed them and walked them. They give great cuddles too.

[sebsmummy1]

I actually think this is much more common than you think. I have had a few rescue cats and I never felt quite the same bond with them as I did with the many kittens we have had throughout my life.

We rescued an adult cat a few months ago and she is such a good girl, really clean and loving, excellent with my son, but she cries a lot and I find it immensely annoying, at times I wish I had never brought her home . But as time goes on I care for her more and more and i'm absolutely sure that give it enough time and I will love her. Right now though if her previous owner asked me if she could have her back as her situation changed I think I would say yes.

[SunshineBossaNova]

I rescued a cat last year, and found it very hard to bond with him initially. Up until then I'd always had cats from kittenhood. Like sebsmummy I'd have given him back if I'd had the chance.

It took me a few months to really bond and I was starting to wonder if I ever would. It's just over a year later and I love the bones of him.

Best of luck OP.

[willowisp]

Sebsmummy1 - might car cries too but because she wants a cuddle

She is also a rescue but I had no problem bonding with her, maybe because she's a lap cat & loves a cuddle !

[AimlesslyPurposeful]

BadDogOwner - "I'm not sure why I feel this way, no dog we have had previously has settled so well so quickly. They are perfect."

Were you expecting them to need lots of reassurance and help settling in? Maybe that's part of what's going on? Easier to care for someone or something that needs care and help but these two are more resilient than the dogs you've had in the past. Looking back do you think that helping the previous dogs to settle in was what helped you bond?

I definitely agree with PPs when they've said it can take a while before you're sure you've done the right thing and that three days is just too soon to tell.

Are they a breed or size that you haven't had before? Or maybe it's because there's two of them and subconsciously you're seeing double the work/expense? Have you grieved properly for your previous dog?

[Violetta999]

Are you missing your old dog and feel disloyal

[TiedUpWithString]

What type of dogs are they?

[EvenBetter]

So you've had dogs before and loved them. These are TWO entirely new ones and it'll take time to love them, it'll take time for them to feel 'right' to you. The fact you're feeling bad for not loving them (yet!) is a good sign I reckon, I think it'll come, definitely.

I'm sure you already are, but spend time talking crap to them in a stupid voice, smell their ears and necks, give them scratchy massages and get to know them. One day soon, if one say..hurts a paw, or you lose sight of them, or another dog gets nasty with them, I bet it'll hit you then 'I love you guys!' Or the sight of one dreaming, or just doing something trivial you'll realise the love is there.
A lot of new mothers of humans take some time to love their new addition, dogs aren't different, they're a long term commitment and you know it's scary having such responsibility. Give yourself time.

I think we need to see a photo, too.

[dwarfrabbit]

Dear op, just a thought. are you still mourning your old doggie and feeling guilty? I went through that for over a month, and like you my new mutt did nothing wrong, I just felt like I didn't like him and that made me sad and cross with myself. It took a good friend to point it out and give me a stern talking to, and then I fell in love with him! If your dogs are happy and seem content, then really really don't beat yourself up. They're dogs - not mind readers! Good for you for giving them a nice new home.

[patienceisvirtuous]

I think it's common too. I have two rescue cats. Each time I got one I felt sad and thought I had done the wrong thing. But then each time, love grew. I wouldn't be without them now - I adore them.

Stick with it OP. The dissonance will fade and be replaced with a bond. It's just a matter of time.