Please talk me out of returning my rescue dog (sorry, long)

[gymmummy64]

We?ve had him for 3 months now. He?s affectionate, he?s friendly, we really do love him to bits.

However, he?s a serial absconder with very patchy recall and no problem with huge distances between him and me or taking off for a couple of hours if he gets a chance. After several disasters he?s now always on a (long) lead. He has a very high prey drive and will chase anything which compounds the problem. We are currently working through all the steps in Pippa Mattinson?s book Total Recall. It will be a long process but I?m determined. I keep telling myself that if dogs can be trained to drive cars then I can get my dog to do recall.

The rescue said he was cat friendly which is absolutely not the case. Over the 3 months we?ve had him, we?ve given over an entire bedroom and more recently the bathroom so that we could keep him away from the cat. We are just beginning to make some progress and I can just begin to imagine the two of them living together at some point. Most of our visitors think we are completely mad to have gone to the lengths we have but it does seem to be paying off.

He wasn?t well socialised when we got him and following two attacks by off lead dogs, became very snippy and snappy with just about every dog he met. I became terrified of unknown off lead dogs approaching him and still am. We always walk in the same places because of this and he is slowly building up good relations with a number of other dogs and I am a little less nervous.

We also started flyball which we all enjoy and he has taken to well.
However, at flyball this morning I was already nervous that he would take a chunk out of the smaller dogs who wanted to play and had been keeping him away from them as he does not like playing and does not like being nagged at to play. He then had major issues with a fear aggressive dog resulting in quite a fight before we could separate them. The lovely trainer told me that my dog was being very dominant, I was allowing him to mark which I shouldn?t and my dog?s whole body language changed when I was holding him. I was told I was making everything worse.

My issue is this. I can be patient and cope with the rubbish recall, the cat and the basic socialisation though as a first time owner I?m not entirely sure this is what I signed up for ? I do feel completely unqualified to deal with all these issues. However, I?ll try. What I think I am completely the wrong person to deal with is the aggression/dominance bit. Let?s face it, I hadn?t even noticed it. I can?t just stop being nervous when he?s around other dogs and if my nerves are making him worse then I don?t know where we go from here. It just seems like every single thing is an issue and a battle and this dominance thing is feeling like the final straw. If it takes me being confident to deal with it, then it?s not going to happen. In three months I have become highly wary of dogs I don?t know and feel far less confident than I did at the beginning.

With every one of the many set backs so far I?ve managed to re-focus and remotivate myself. I just don?t seem to be able to do it this time - according to the trainer I haven?t even leaned to hold a lead correctly, which must be pretty poor for 3 months worth of dog ownership! I am really beginning to feel he?d be better off with someone else, he?s a lovely dog in so many ways and deserves to be really happy. Would I actually be doing the best for him by giving him the chance of a better owner?

[horseylady]

I own a dominant dog. She does nothing. Well she does something as dogs just do as she says but I'm not sure what it is. Incredible really.

I don't post in here often but just wanted to say good luck!! And if you can keep him, do. You sound like a wonderful thoughtful owner. I love agility with my dogs, it strengthens our relationship and is good for general training. I also run with them.

Good luck!!

[gymmummy64]

Thank you horsey, I'm almost always a lurker on the rest of MN, but the wayward hound has got me posting more in the last 3 months than the last 3 years!

I'm now realising that although the word 'dominant' gives rise to great and often heated debate when used in conjunction with words like 'training' or 'alpha', it is perfectly valid to describe dog on dog behaviour as you and D0oing and others have said. And from what you all say, my dog is most definitely not dominant. I'd like to meet one though just to observe how they do what they do!

Fascinating, thank you!