Channel 4 - 999 What's Your Emergency?

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

So interesting. They're focusing on sexual crimes and the men who call 999 for sexual kicks. It's stomach churning.

[purpleme12]

These people who were on a bridge about to jump off that got arrested... I just don't get why she was arrested surely they should have taken her to hospital not the police station?! How is this going to help?!

[sweetbitter]

Such a sad episode about homelessness.

I really liked the policewoman who didn't go to town on the homeless addicts living in the carpark. I thought she had a much more thoughtful attitude and good rapport/way of communicating than some of the other police shown.

[purpleme12]

Tonight's made me cry with that man and woman who lost their home and he was at the end of his tether

[WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa]

I'm just watching this now, it's very very disturbing. Just the first five minutes, with those phone calls, horrendous.

[TammyswansonTwo]

Sorry - page crashed.

Most didn't realise that they didn't have consent until later, which sounds like nonsense but based on the accounts, completely believable. Of course there are men who deliberately go out to assault women but that doesn't seem to be who's doing most of the assaulting.

[TammyswansonTwo]

I know, I wouldn't have believed it either but if you actually speak to women about their experiences of assault, the mast majority are men they know / already intimate with who will push their partners boundaries (have sex while they're sleeping, disregard their lack of consent for particular activities etc), not give a shit and not think they've done anything wrong. I remember years ago there was a thread on Reddit that became known as "Ask a rapist" where men recounted their versions of assaulting women and an alarming number (actually most) l

[sweetbitter]

I'm so sorry Tammy. It's an interesting perspective though.

I was speaking to DP about all this kind of stuff recently in light of the HW scandal, and he says he has struggled in the past to understand if a rejection is a "not right now but not never/try harder/try in a different way" rejection versus an "I'm genuinely not interested and never will be, go away" rejection. I was pretty incredulous as I feel like I myself can pretty easily tell when I see a woman flirtily playing a bit hard to get versus actually being made uncomfortable by unwanted advances. But on reflection DP is a) from a culture where women are supposed to be more elusive and men are supposed to pursue more aggressively and b) he's not that good at reading people's emotions generally. Now he's also shy and not stupid or horrible enough to actually take "I can't read her" to the conclusion of "so I'll just stalk her/lunge at her/get my dick out on the offchance". But I guess it did make me wonder if someone like the guy at the reception might actually be telling an element of the truth when he said he had 'misread the situation' with the receptionist and that had combined with a high level of stupidity and drugs to lead him to do what he did.

Though I have to say it takes a bit of a big leap for me to actually rationally consider that could be the case because all my normal instincts just say YOU MUST KNOW YOU WERE ACTING TOTALLY WRONGLY!

[Sidge]

I found this episode absolutely sickening. Why has society swung so far beyond what is acceptable and appropriate?

I know men have always wanted to intimidate and sexualise women - I know there have always been pervs and flashers. But when did it become so pervasive and so public? I was astonished at that bloke in the Premier Inn who had his girlfriend upstairs but was walking around with his penis out in reception and showing her pictures and porn on his phone. Even when stoned, what makes him think that is remotely acceptable? What makes his girlfriend so accepting of it? I think the police were really keen for her to go to court but were also sympathetic and understanding of her wish not to. Shame though, maybe a conviction for a sex offence would have put a stop to his behaviour.

I'm glad Richard finally got a custodial sentence. He had absolutely no concept of the fear and intimidation he had caused his victims. Mental health issues or not, I think he was potentially a very dangerous man.

[TammyswansonTwo]

I just think we need to stop thinking about it normal men vs sexual predators. Most of these men don't think they're sexual predators or have committed assault. Defining them this way allows all the men who aren't interested in deliberately raping women off the hook. I've been assaulted : raped by men who have later tried to contact me for sex. They definitely didn't think they'd done anything wrong. It's mind boggling but completely true.

[chickensaresafehere]

Very well said Tone!!!

[ToneDeafHamster]

Seems to me, that the more permissive our society becomes, the more perverse it becomes as well. People fall over themselves to be seen as liberal and tolerant, but to what end.

There are hardly any consequences to bad behaviour any more. We are expected to be understanding and tolerant of quite frankly fucked up people, enable them for fear of offending them. The result is no one has any personal responsibility, its always someone else’s fault, and so it goes on.

Thats my take anyway.

[sweetbitter]

Well statistically criminals are less intelligent than non-criminals...

[PollyPelargonium52]

What a sick world we live in it would seem.

[qazxc]

I volunteer for a help phone line for children, we frequently get phone call from adults pretending to be teenagers talking about sexual acts/ fantasies to get their kicks.

[Footle]

I switched off at the break when we got to the Virgin ad showing an empty train seat with the helpful information that that’s where your buttocks go. Boundaries are getting very blurred.

[BMW6]

Maybe all those men are just thick as pig shit?

Hiding to nothing she had already been to his flat and had a couple of beers there. He took her back to the train station and she collapsed there.

[sweetbitter]

Oh something else I thought was interesting was the policeman saying he thought some men couldn't differentiate between norms in porn films vs real life. Like they'd watched so much porn that they had started to actually believe that women say no when they mean yes, and want to be treated violently and raped, that young beautiful women routinely go weak at the knees over older, unattractive men, and any random encounter with a hotel receptionist/ call centre worker/ coworker could viably be sexual. I think there must be something to that.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

I think the men calling 999 were getting off on making women feel uncomfortable. Part of me was thinking they should use voice changers so that every voice answering a 999 call sounded male, but the rest of me thought they should track those bastards down and lock them up.

[Hidingtonothing]

I certainly don't see how it could hurt sweet, whatever we're doing (or not doing) now obviously isn't working.

[sweetbitter]

I tended to think that it showed the reasons men commit sexual offences are varied and it's not always as simple as saying he wanted power over her or whatever. It's true that sex is a strong drive for humans, particularly men. Some of the men, like Richard, were obviously totally fucked up but I didn't think he was trying to exert power over that poor woman, it seemed like he genuinely thought it was all a game that she was loving. Fuck knows what was going on with the weed smoker in the hotel with his girlfriend upstairs, I think maybe a combination of just feeling horny with zero boundaries/ trying to entice her into a threesome/ wanting to exert power over her . Were those callers to the 999 number primarily trying to make the women uncomfortable or just trying to get themselves off? Or did they get off on making the women uncomfortable? I'm not sure. I wonder if there is something to that policeman's suggestions that this needs to be addressed with boys in school and treatment/therapy for sexual criminals needs to be offered in the same way as it would be for drug users and alcoholics.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

Quite a timely programme, with what's going on with Weinstein and in the House of Commons and everywhere else, in fact.

[Hidingtonothing]

That's exactly how it's left me feeling Seal, not feeling very fond at all of men in general atm.

[SealSong]

This was a sickening and disturbing episode. The scale of men's abusive and inappropriate behaviour to women is depressing. And the call handlers having to cope with men ringing 999 and wanking etc...disgusting, those men should be prosecuted. What the hell is wrong with (so many) men???

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

A friend of mine worked for the police and answered calls - she said they had TONS of calls from men asking dirty questions or telling them they were masturbating.

The thing is that they have those people's phone numbers (on 999) so they could take them to court.

[AccrualIntentions]

My friend volunteered for the Samaritans and they got a lot of sex calls. I worked in a call centre giving train times for a while and I even had a few there. There seems to be no limit to what some people can wank over.