There's so much advice out there about parenting, I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to look. DD turned 13 last October. Started her periods sometime last year when she was 12. It's like a switch has flicked in her brain.
She's never had issues at school before but now she's often late to class because she's chatting to her friends, and talks back to the teachers. Rolls her skirt up, makeup on every day.
Why do you let her wear makeup, I hear you ask? I'm struggling with her at home; she is often very defensive and angry and a single small issue explodes into full blown attitude and shouting- my husband and I try really hard not to shout back as we know this will only make matters worse, but sometimes it's the only way to make myself heard!
Arguments aren't even about anything in particular, it's the usual not tidying up, doing homework, tidying her room, putting her braces in, putting the ruddy phone down (I control her screen time also which was a trauma to instigate).
Case in point, which may have sent me to a mid-week glass of wine: I asked her to turn the tv down as I was talking to her dad. I asked three times until I have to walk towards her to make sure she acknowledges me, and I get "I'm doing it! What does it look like I'm doing right now?" Then of course I'm angry as I don't want to be spoken to like that, then I tell her that's not acceptable and she's being disrespectful, and then I get another defensive response and so on.
I'm just worried it's me and I need to somehow change the way I ask her things or talk to her. I feel really sad about it if I'm honest as I want to be able to talk to her.
Any advice, reading matter, podcast, anything gratefully received and sorry for the whinge. I do know how lucky I am to have her and her sister and I do count my blessings every day.