12 year old possibly showing early signs of eating disorder

[middler]

Has anyone any experience of their 12 year old starting to over exercise? My daughter turns 12 soon. I have noticed that she has started leaving half of her food at meals saying she is not very hungry. She has also started running up and down our back garden and last night she asked when we can start going swimming again. My possible early signs of an eating disorder senses are up but I am not sure what to do next.
Can anyone share their experience and advise what I should do? I have seen anorexia get a hold of older teens and it is devastating for them and their families and frankly I am seeing my daughter could go down this path.It could just be a little phase as she becomes more aware of her body- puberty has well and truly started. Her weight is normal probably on the higher side of. anormal bmi I would say from looking at her.

[Believeinsomethingreal]

It could be an ED it could also be many other things - possibly a need for control ? See if you can redirect that desire by giving her something to do that focuses her mind elsewhere and away from food / exercise. If that doesn’t help get a gp appt

[Newuser75]

As someone who has suffered from eating disorders I'd advise to get her help very quickly. They as you know can take hold exceptionally fast.
Do you have the funds to go private? If not then I'd definitely not wait and see, I'd get her to the gp (or even have a chat with gp alone).
Have a look at beat online.
Best of luck, I imagine you are worried sick

[Believeinsomethingreal]

Is your dd ND? Both my dds with ASD had issues around food and exercise and although they met clinical criteria for anorexia they weren’t treated as having it and it was approached as an issue coming from ASD and therapy was then very effective

[sarahc336]

Op sooner she access support the better the outcome. It sounds like something is developing there to me. Have you asked her about it?

[KalaMush]

I have a 16yo DD who exercises a lot (eg last week she played sport on three days after school and went swimming at the weekend) and often leaves half her evening meal. I keep an eye on things, but she's a healthy weight (on the lower end of a healthy BMI) and has never shown any other signs of an eating disorder (eg signs that she may be purging, obsession with her weight or appearance, skipping meals completely, being secretive or untruthful around food). I think the main thing at this stage is to not make it into a big deal (eg trying to make her eat more) as that is likely to backfire IMO.

[DGPP]

I don’t agree with the above
poster, playing sport several times a week is normal, doing laps of the garden is not. I would contact the charity Beat for advice.
possibly also talk to your daughter to see if she is anxious about anything etc in case it’s about control. Keep a very close eye on her

[middler]

Thanks everyone. I emailed the doc and got a telephone appointment the next day and he was quite helpful. I have spoken to her and she said she just wants to be healthy and does not feel hungry at mealtimes. I am going to keep a close eye but we are openly communicating about it and I explained she has 2 years of height growth after her first period so if she does not get the right nutrition in the next year she may stunt her growth and that seemed to really hit home. She was funny about food texture about 4 years ago and could go all day without eating but she is not diagnosed as ND, but I think there is some of that as I see undiagnosed autism in my husband's brother and father to be honest. She ate plenty of easter chocolate today and a choc ice after dinner so I am feeling less worried- she knows we are aware now and it seems to be helping her curb some of the behaviours I was seeing.

[MissHavershamReturns]

Op it would be worth considering whether to explore the ND traits further. We have diagnosed dc and I also know someone who had an ND dd with an ED. she has told us all she really wished she had got the diagnosis in place in early High School years. It really helps them understand themselves and means they can be helped in ways that work for them This friend was told by a clinician that he thinks 50% of his patients are likely on the spectrum.

Would going private for a diagnosis be an option at all?

[middler]

Thanks Haversham, I live in the US actually so it's pretty easy getting access to services, and she did have some therapy when she was 8 over not eating due to the texture of food.

The doctor did say I can self refer to behavior health if I want to. She has been on an iep at school since age 6 as she needed help with math and english and now he english has caught up. I think she could be mildly aspergers as she reminds me in some of her ways of being of students I taught in the past who had that but I am not sure if they diagnose if you are just mild- she has friends at school but she never wants them to come over and when I have been to school events her friend bound over to say hello be warm/huggey and she is a bit cool/deadpan back with them which makes me wonder how they stay so warm with her to be honest but I can see it's just her way of being, she is not trying to be cold towards them. I am grateful she has friends to be honest.

[MissHavershamReturns]

She sounds quite like my ds who has a dx. I think from our experience it can really help them understand themselves even if they seem very mildly impacted.

[middler]

Thanks Haversham what did you say when you went to seek a diagnosis?

[MissHavershamReturns]

I’m going to pm you

[Theapplefallsclosetothetree]

I worry about my dd for the neurodiverse reasons. She’s not eaten properly for years and says she feels scared of trying new food. As she’s 13 I don’t want to make a big deal of it. We are awaiting on a dietitians appt as my dd herself was worried and dr put her on calcium and vitamins. I’m sure she’s getting thinner though