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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do you get your Year 11 DCs to revise???

33 replies

MonkeyTennis34 · 19/03/2024 19:58

DD is in the middle of her mocks and seems to be doing very little revision.
She has a Maths test tomorrow and hasn’t starting revising yet this evening.

She has an answer for everything.....I revise at school, I’ve already done some revision, etc, etc.

To stay at her school for 6th form, she needs 3 Grade 6s and her first set of mocks were nowhere near this.

Any tips?

OP posts:
MaloneMeadow · 19/03/2024 20:52

Removing phone and wifi privileges whilst revision was meant to be going on was the only thing that worked for us

chickflick · 19/03/2024 21:01

you ask them how you can help them achieve what they want ie good results and do what she suggests?
they know you are on their side and you feel you are being proactive by helping as requested and life is so much more peaceful

MaloneMeadow · 19/03/2024 21:03

chickflick · 19/03/2024 21:01

you ask them how you can help them achieve what they want ie good results and do what she suggests?
they know you are on their side and you feel you are being proactive by helping as requested and life is so much more peaceful

With respect, at that age if I would’ve asked DD how she wanted me to ‘help’ her revise the answer would’ve been to leave her alone and stop nagging (hence she would never have gotten anything done)

You have a very good and motivated teen if this worked for you!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 19/03/2024 21:05

Bribe- £50 per A grade

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 19/03/2024 22:22

We bribed with money per grade

Muchtoomuchtodo · 19/03/2024 22:28

When were their first set of mocks and has she been tested since?

To be honest the drive needs to come from them. You can offer to support in any way that they want but they still have to want it. You can remove privileges but that’s likely to brew resentment. In / after school revision sessions are ideal if they’re offered as it removes the need to do as much at home

Bribery based on results may work for some, that’s a route that we’ve chosen to not go down.

somewhereovertherain · 19/03/2024 22:31

We left them to it. They exams their problem.

support was there if they wanted it but other than that we left them too it. No pressure.

they both did very well and now at uni.

Popfan · 20/03/2024 07:51

somewhereovertherain · 19/03/2024 22:31

We left them to it. They exams their problem.

support was there if they wanted it but other than that we left them too it. No pressure.

they both did very well and now at uni.

And that's fine if you have intrinsically motivated kids. However, not all are like this and need more help and support to get there!

Mine is bright but hates academic learning (dyslexic so makes it harder) and probably a bit lazy. Wants to do well but just can't get down to revise. Engages well with tutors and is OK at school but anything beyond that is really hard. Leaving him to it is not an option ... the aim is minimum 5 GCSEs with English and Maths which is is more than capable of achieving. He's actually capable of more which does make it so frustrating! Roll on the end of exams!!

ohtobeinenglandinthespring · 20/03/2024 10:20

It may just feel overwhelming to her. It's nearly the end of the term and all the Yr11s I know are pretty shattered. Would it help her to break it down 'Maths' into smaller chunks ie 'tonight all you need to do is revise ratios, compound interest and vectors (or whatever).' If she can do that she will have made progress and will will hopefully feel like she has achieved something (and less overwhelmed).

WarningOfGails · 20/03/2024 10:51

Our school suggested rewarding revision rather than grades. I’m buying DD some trousers she wants off Vinted if she has done 10 hours of revision by the end of this week…

Original poster
MonkeyTennis34 · 20/03/2024 15:11

WarningOfGails · 20/03/2024 10:51

Our school suggested rewarding revision rather than grades. I’m buying DD some trousers she wants off Vinted if she has done 10 hours of revision by the end of this week…

That's a very good idea. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
MonkeyTennis34 · 20/03/2024 15:16

I told her last night that during the Easter hols she really needs to up her game.

She gets very defensive and tells us we're stressing her out...

Her friendship group consists mainly of girls who get upset when they don't get a grade 9 but it doesn't seem to have rubbed off onto DD!

OP posts:
Ioverslept · 20/03/2024 15:26

In would have a sensible supportive conversation about the importance of good grades and trying your best in general things in life, the value of hard work and effort etc especially if they would struggle to get top grades even with effort. Then together devise a revision timetable especially for the holidays where there is a balance of subjects with more time for the ones she really needs to revise more for because they are core or required for her next step ans needs to improve from current performance. Make sure the timetable maximises the times when she will be more productive and includes down time and other activities. You can frame it as you need to plan when you are going to have family time together as well as seeing friends while making the most of the time to revise. You can include some little rewards if she manages to stick to the revision schedule (distraction free ie no phone as others said) Then find some revision materials together, ideally the school will provide or suggest but you can ask them too if they recommend a revision guide (can probably find cheap second hand) or website (bitesize can be quite useful). Just try to make it supportive so she can see you are on her side because you want her to be proud of herself rather than confrontational. Good luck!

MostlyDry · 20/03/2024 15:28

Ioverslept · 20/03/2024 15:26

In would have a sensible supportive conversation about the importance of good grades and trying your best in general things in life, the value of hard work and effort etc especially if they would struggle to get top grades even with effort. Then together devise a revision timetable especially for the holidays where there is a balance of subjects with more time for the ones she really needs to revise more for because they are core or required for her next step ans needs to improve from current performance. Make sure the timetable maximises the times when she will be more productive and includes down time and other activities. You can frame it as you need to plan when you are going to have family time together as well as seeing friends while making the most of the time to revise. You can include some little rewards if she manages to stick to the revision schedule (distraction free ie no phone as others said) Then find some revision materials together, ideally the school will provide or suggest but you can ask them too if they recommend a revision guide (can probably find cheap second hand) or website (bitesize can be quite useful). Just try to make it supportive so she can see you are on her side because you want her to be proud of herself rather than confrontational. Good luck!

Edited

Agree completely with this. We have gradually nudged dc along and now they are finally motivating themselves.

Rocknrollstar · 20/03/2024 16:05

Talk to her about revision strategies. Don’t expect her to do hours on end. 40 mins then a 20 minute break. Buy a Good Study Guide and talk through how to revise.

Pottingup · 20/03/2024 16:25

Am finding it a nightmare (and did with my older two). I offer to help and go through stuff with them and sometimes they agree. I find online flash cards and provide revision books -suggest revision videos of YouTube. I nag them and we generally stress each other out. If it’s any help DS1 was terrible at revising for GCSEs but became very self motivated for A levels and is doing a degree.

Original poster
MonkeyTennis34 · 21/03/2024 11:49

DD got her first Mock result, 78% for PE. I'm so pleased for her.

Maybe she's been doing more than we thought.

She's also just got an app called Study Bunny. No idea if it's making her revise any harder but it's very cute!

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 21/03/2024 16:56

We’ve just had parents evening which went really well. 96% in additional maths mock was the best (not sure where he gets that from!!).

The message was to attend as many revision sessions after school as possible, there is 1 day during the Easter holiday to finish the last music composition and the accompanying written work and then do a few hours (3-4) every day but not to go mad.

They want them back after Easter feeling refreshed and prepared.

They also got given their exam timetable today which makes it feel very real!

Mairzydotes · 21/03/2024 17:30

I wouldn't force revision for mocks, I'd wait to see how well she did. Then I'd encourage revision for her exams in the summer and tell her she could improve on those grades.

Although some people don't benefit from revision, I was one of them . I learned and was able to recall information through the school year.

abigailsfs · 21/03/2024 17:57

I feel like I am taking my son's GCSEs with him! For example, I have read his English texts and 'revised' the history topics to test him. He is dyslexic and has needed a lot of help. It's been full-on so far, but I think he is finally in a place where he can self-study. I cannot wait for them to be over!

TwigTheWonderKid · 21/03/2024 17:58

MaloneMeadow · 19/03/2024 21:03

With respect, at that age if I would’ve asked DD how she wanted me to ‘help’ her revise the answer would’ve been to leave her alone and stop nagging (hence she would never have gotten anything done)

You have a very good and motivated teen if this worked for you!

Show quote history

But if you always provide external motivation then how will they ever learn to motivate themselves?

Our eldest DS was a bit laid back and it didn't help that he got a dyslexia diagnosis a month before his GCSEs. It was really tempting to nag him but we realised it wouldn't be doing him any favours and he figured it out. He got decent enough results (6-9s) to do what he wanted next and once he was studying subjects he enjoyed more at A level and had his eye on the prize of a place at university he upped his game.

Obviously we supported him with unlimited snacks and offered to help if he wanted it but I really don't think parents taking control is desirable in the long run.

MaloneMeadow · 21/03/2024 18:08

TwigTheWonderKid · 21/03/2024 17:58

But if you always provide external motivation then how will they ever learn to motivate themselves?

Our eldest DS was a bit laid back and it didn't help that he got a dyslexia diagnosis a month before his GCSEs. It was really tempting to nag him but we realised it wouldn't be doing him any favours and he figured it out. He got decent enough results (6-9s) to do what he wanted next and once he was studying subjects he enjoyed more at A level and had his eye on the prize of a place at university he upped his game.

Obviously we supported him with unlimited snacks and offered to help if he wanted it but I really don't think parents taking control is desirable in the long run.

Show quote history

I never said anything re: external motivation or taking control. If anything that would’ve had the opposite effect on DD. For the most part it was very much a case of her grades, her problem. The very few times that we took WiFi/phone away was when she was already in trouble for something else. Maths was the big problem subject for her and was really the only thing that we cracked down on, otherwise she would’ve been dangerously close to failing

Clarabella77 · 21/03/2024 18:59

I just agreed with my son that he will get £20 for every three hours of revision. He has now produced a schedule and seems more motivated than I have seen him! I may end up skint but at least he is motivated. His intent to do well has always been there but his focus not so much, so I think this could work.

crazycrofter · 23/03/2024 18:38

Wow @Clarabella77 , I was going to share what we did, which was also pay per hour of revision but we only gave £2 an hour!

Ds has ADHD and is very disorganised, just didn’t know where to start and didn’t have exercise books he could revise from. On the whole , except for History and Maths, he used the free version of Seneca. The benefit of this was that I could also see progress and verify hours worked! It also gave him a structure to work through and he could do it on the bus, in the car and even in the cinema 🤣

LuluBlakey1 · 23/03/2024 18:41

Does she actually know how to revise? Many teenagers have no idea so go onto an awful app or sit and read through their books and are quickly bored.
They need to be taught how to revise effectively.