DSS (almost 15) lives with us 50% of the time, I have 2 DCs (both preteens) all happy all normal family life.
My issue is DSS is a bedwetter. That in itself has long been regarded as 'just one of those things'. He never really grew out of it.
He is under the doctor for it and has tablets (he forgets to take) and a sleep regime of no liquids after 9 (which he forgets to follow).
The sticking point is that he will not take care of his own wet bedding. He sleeps heavily and in the morning the odour coming from his room is eye watering. He just gets up, calls for his dad, gets in the shower. DP (bless him) gets up without a word and takes his wet clothes, strips his bedding, and launders the whole lot.
AIBU to think at 14 you take some personal responsibility to try and prevent it happening, or at the very least if it does, you strip your own bed, open the windows, clean up and bung the stuff on a hot wash?
I have suggested a little bit of levelling up on his part but DP says he doesn't mind doing it for him, he feels sorry for him, and he doesn't want to turn it into a big deal. I say it'd be less of a big deal if he just cleaned it up himself.
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Bed wetting etiquette
Beetlewings · 18/03/2024 09:14
cryinglaughing · 18/03/2024 09:16
Would you be taking the same stance if it was your own dc, or is it just because it is your dss?
I think you are being a little harsh.
cryinglaughing · 18/03/2024 09:16
Would you be taking the same stance if it was your own dc, or is it just because it is your dss?
I think you are being a little harsh.
Peaceandquietwithmydog · 18/03/2024 09:42
I was a bedwetter until I was this age or older . Not every night but fairly regularly.
I can assure you the embarrassment and shame was awful. My Mum was kind and never made me feel guilty about it.
Let your husband manage it ,his way.
Infracat · 18/03/2024 09:56
Did you just stop naturally or did you have help with tablets etc? My DS15 still is and I dont know what to do about it. He is to embarassed to go to the gp now he is older.
Peaceandquietwithmydog · 18/03/2024 09:42
I was a bedwetter until I was this age or older . Not every night but fairly regularly.
I can assure you the embarrassment and shame was awful. My Mum was kind and never made me feel guilty about it.
Let your husband manage it ,his way.
Peaceandquietwithmydog · 18/03/2024 09:42
I was a bedwetter until I was this age or older . Not every night but fairly regularly.
I can assure you the embarrassment and shame was awful. My Mum was kind and never made me feel guilty about it.
Let your husband manage it ,his way.
Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 18/03/2024 10:08
I think I would leave his dad to deal with it. If he calls dad immediately and it is dealt with as soon as he would have dealt with it himself I think I'd let it go. Poor kid. I would also ask that the meds and no fluids after 9 are enforced a bit more though
I assume he has been tested for diabetes?
canyouletthedogoutplease · 18/03/2024 10:21
DP says he doesn't mind doing it for him, he feels sorry for him, and he doesn't want to turn it into a big deal. I say it'd be less of a big deal if he just cleaned it up himself.
It doesn't sound like there's anything for you to deal with here, it seems like they have an arrangement and it's working for both of them. When it's you that's being expected to deal with it, then you can weigh in. You may have fears for your DSS future abilities, your DH clearly doesn't so they're yours to think about internally, not to inject into this situation.
Infracat · 18/03/2024 09:56
Did you just stop naturally or did you have help with tablets etc? My DS15 still is and I dont know what to do about it. He is to embarassed to go to the gp now he is older.
Peaceandquietwithmydog · 18/03/2024 09:42
I was a bedwetter until I was this age or older . Not every night but fairly regularly.
I can assure you the embarrassment and shame was awful. My Mum was kind and never made me feel guilty about it.
Let your husband manage it ,his way.
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