Winding down extra curriculars for GCSE years?

[issabel]

Specifically music lessons. DC will be starting GCSEs in September. Currently has lessons for two different instruments - one lesson during school hours and the other at the weekend. I am considering suggesting we stop all music lessons come September and I'm really just thinking out loud here and looking for other experiences.

DC enjoys playing but is not particularly bothered is the best way to put it. It is not a "passion" and they aren't exceptionally talented. They don't even listen to music for fun (which I find weird because music has been a massive part of my life since I was about 11 and I can't play a note on an instrument!). DC sees music in a very practical way whereas for me it is an emotional experience I suppose.

They don't practice regularly but will sit down and play "for fun" a few times a month which I think is nice for them to be able to do that. Currently, they are aiming towards grade 4 in one instrument but don't take exams in the other.

They have not chosen music at GCSE but if they stopped lessons then they could continue to play as part of the school band - important for friendship reasons.

If we stop the lessons it saves us money and time at the weekends - I just hate the thought of them giving things up when they have worked on it for so long... But the skills won't disappear and they can go back to it later if they want to? DC will still have a couple of extra curricular sports which I feel are very important to keep for their future health and wellbeing.

[SpringOfContentment]

We haven't dropped extra curricula stuff yet, indeed my Y10 has just started another one......
He has been warned that dropping school performance will require something to be given up. I sense the difference is he wants to do all this stuff, where as yours aren't bothered?
So, I'd say if the kids want to drop one or both instruments, let them. But if they are keen to continue, it is no means a given that it will be too much for them, especially in Y10.

[PuttingDownRoots]

Ask your child whether they want to continue one, both or neither.

[NahNeedsGarlic]

DC didn’t drop anything for the GCSE years (and achieved good grades) but has done for A levels.

[Spacecowboys]

If teens have extra curricular activities that they really enjoy, I think it’s important to continue them, despite GCSE’s. Hobbies/ extra curriculars are ( of course) a good stress reliever and promote health and well being. If your child’s time table is so full of extra curricular activities that it leaves no room for GCSE study, the best thing is probably to agree together what needs to go. Strike a balance.

[Seeline]

No don't drop stuff unless they have asked to. It's really important to have other activities/interests on the go during exam time.

[ElvenDreamer]

Private music teacher here, this regularly crops up as a subject of concern. I teach many right up to 18 who aren't taking music for GCSE or A level, we perhaps shift the practice expectation slightly, do a bit more in the way of slightly easier pieces or duet work, and without exception those students always say in their lessons how much they love that half hour/hour, as it is a time to be creative, have fun, takes them away from the stress etc. Because they have to give their all in that lesson it focuses their mind away from worry. I think it honestly helps give structure and balance to their lives. If they have to cram every minute of their day for studying and nothing else, then it's not helping to create well balanced humans and will not help them long term.

[ElvenDreamer]

Obviously, as a music teacher I am biased here! However, my own experience as a child I continued my dance classes, guiding, part time work etc whilst studying for my own Exams which of course for me did include music. It provided the downtime.

[Droolylabradors]

DD has continued with singing and piano lessons, acted in a musical and a play, performed in the school choir and got high mock grades in yr11. They need something other than work as an outlet. And I think there is an argument that music uses a part of your brain which compliments memory and learning.

[Droolylabradors]

Or complements even

[Allshallbewell2021]

My dd dropped karate in yr 9 just because it was so hard to fit in with other interests. Reducing pressure makes sense but dd refuses to give anything else up and they have several commitments in and out of school. My feeling is that her clubs give her joy and connection and the academic studies on their own are too dry. Dd is doing drama and music gcse which also brings some life into her studies.

[LightSwerve]

I think it is healthier to continue to enjoy life whilst in GCSE years, the idea you do no music for two years is utterly depressing and really means none until they finish university.

This is going to instill workaholism!

[MrWilyFoxIsBack]

I was coming on this thread to say “no don’t drop everything outside exams because you need that place to escape” but that’s not what you’re saying is it. Your child will still play in band and play for fun, just pause lessons and grades which they aren’t that excited by anyway.

I would recommend therefore yes, drop the lessons but perhaps instead invest some of the money saved in buying new sheet music (music they LIKE) or even dabbling in buying a new instrument (I learned keyboard during GCSE years and guitar during my A levels, loved it!). Or if your dc actually enjoys ensemble playing then find another group to join.

I will definitely be ensuring my dc stick with their extra curriculars during exam years. God it’s dreary enough and pressurised enough without having all the nice bits of your life stripped away so you can bump a grade 6 to a 7 in a minor subject no one is EVER going to ask about in ten years time… I’m exaggerating but I feel really strongly about it!

[Leafbuds]

It's also really good for learning time management and working out how to fit the things that you enjoy in around the things you have to do for school - being organised, starting revision early, etc. And being reliable and dedicated to something despite exams, learning that other people in an ensemble or team or whatever depend on you (not so much for private music lessons of course) and that you have to find a way to organise yourself around this - all very good skills for later!

It can give them perspective, as well - that school exams are not everything, and that life carries on regardless. Ii think giving a child the impression that GCSEs are so important that everything else has to stop is a dangerous message.

Of course if things get too stressful and there isn't enough time to manage them both in a practcal way, or they don't want to, then that's different. But I'd certainly encourage them to keep on if they want to.

Often the activities are good fun, give them chances to meet people outside school and make different friends, give opportunities that aren't available (e.g., orchestra trips or concerts in different places), provide some of the best memories of school, give them chances to do well in something non academic etc. Yes you can do some of this without the lessons, but it's harder to motivate yourself and harder to get to a good level and be in the better groups and so on without the structure of some lessons. (if you can afford it, of course)

And really, GCSEs are not that bad - there's no reason that most children shouldn't be able to manage them along with a couple of extra curricular activities as well, if that's what they want to do.

[Mindymomo]

My DS only played football, obviously along with his friends. There was only one parent who said his son wouldn’t be available for games/tournaments after such a date, as they would be revising. The rest of the parents, us included felt our sons could manage revision whilst still doing training and playing games. I think it depends on your teenager. I’m glad my son did something other than revise all the time. He did well at exams, but there has to be a balance. The boy that couldn’t play, ended up resitting his exams the next year, went on to just about get into university, then quit a month after, as he wasn’t happy.

[taxi4ballet]

Stop thinking about this from your perspective, and please don't think about how you want them to carry on for (reasons), or you'd be disappointed if (other reasons).

These extra-curricular activities are not your activities, and you are not doing them. I know you've been paying for them, but that shouldn't be because you are thinking of it as being some sort of investment in their future potential. You are simply paying for them to do something they like.

Whilst they still like it, carry on. If they decide to stop, then that's fine too.

The choice should be made entirely by your dc.

[deplorabelle]

If you stop lessons their progress is likely to stall and you will be relying entirely on the school band to keep them playing. If they move school for sixth form (or band stops for some reason) there's a high likelihood that will be the end of their playing career because most people don't keep up an instrument unless they have a regular commitment to lessons or a band/ensemble.

If your DC don't actively want to give up I'd keep music lessons going. You could do lessons but pause grades and exams.

[Momstermunch]

Why plan for it now? Can't they just play it by ear? If they seem stressed and unable to juggle everything then sure. But realistically what you're talking about is presumably an hour on the weekend? Not exactly make or break in terms of revision time.

[caringcarer]

My FS had lots of extra curricular activities in Year 11, swimming twice a week for 1 1/2 hours an evening, cricket training 5 hours a week until season started then matches on Saturday and Sunday lasting between 6 and 7 hours each, karate 1 1/2 hours and he often ran around the lake about 45 mins twice a week. He didn't stop any of them. Plenty of his friends dropped playing the cricket matches. They used to come to watch for 1 hour, looking miserable then went back home to revise.

[donothing]

No don't drop it! If you learn to play a musical instrument competently as a child/ teen, you have that skill for life. They are probably unlikely to do it as a career, but as a hobby, you'll always be able to find a group of friends wherever you end up in the country.
It's also good for personal statements/ CVs for the early jobs.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

We had a lot of extracurricular activities in the run up to GCSEs it made DD organised and she learned how to prioritise and not procrastinate.

[MissSunshine80]

My daughter dropped dance simply because she was expected to attend at least 3 times a week and that was school nights so she struggled juggling revision, homework and extra sessions after school for revision club/further maths. She still continued with piano as she loved it so much and it was at the weekend. She started singing lessons during year 11 but this was her passion and a worthwhile release from all the pressure of school. I think she had the perfect balance and was really good at making herself study and didn’t really socialise out of these hobbies and school so no other distractions.

[FrenchandSaunders]

Mine carried on with their sport and other clubs, and socialising, felt it was important to have a balance. It can't all be revision/studying.

[taxi4ballet]

I think it depends what you are aiming for. My dd's extra-curricular stuff was what she was intending to pursue as a career, so to be totally honest (and her Head of Year supported her in this), her GCSEs were priority 2. How she did it all I don't know, but she managed it somehow.

[WarningOfGails]

DD doesn’t do that much anymore (another thread!), rides twice a week which takes her out 4.30-7.30pm, and she has work on one weekend afternoon. But I am getting her to drop her mid week ride from Easter onwards when the exams start.

[Concestor]

Why don't you

A- see how it goes before dropping anything

and

B- let them choose rather than you arbitrarily deciding that you think sport is better than music

I think you're being very unreasonable, there's much more to life than school.