Teenager and finances

[Icandoallthings]

Help! Have 16yr old DS who has no financial sense whatsoever. He’ll spend all his pocket and gift money on snacks on the way into school pretty much daily.
I have tried to talk to him about saving some
money and planning/ saving for bigger wants. I realise we(parents) are at fault and should have laid the foundations in his earlier years. We are here now and I’m worried about his future. Anyone with experience of how to manage this and turn this bad habit around?

[warmlights]

No but watching as this is also my DS. Can’t get through his pocket money quick enough spending it on sweets at Lidl. Then messages me asking for more (I’m saying no)

[mycatsanutter]

You have tried and he has ignored you , he will learn when he wants something you won't buy for him and realises he was capable of saving for it .

[CuriouslyDifferent]

Snacks and sweets appear to be the common factor above, as well as the waste of money.

I grew up in a household where chocolate - sweets were a festive treat and food was restricted to dinner dinners and mum wasn’t a great cook - and I struggled to eat veg. When I got my own paper round - 90% of my money went on sweets and snacks.

later in life I learnt to cook myself and turns out her ‘veg’ was mush and I liked it crunchy, and I eat far more healthily than I was ever provided for, and quantities that leave me not hungry in ten mins.

im wondering if you haven’t upped your quantities for growing lads - and been restrictive about treats. As well as being concerned about the wastefulness of money. I know my daughters boyfriends from age 13 to 18 over the years, coke round and behave like they’ve never seen food before, always very polite, but i know to make at least double portions for them as a minimum.

[JazbayGrapes]

Does he not have any big purchases on his mind? A computer, a holiday, saving up for a car?

[Weedoormatnomore]

All you can do is teach them the basics. Now is a good time to fail at saving when only small amounts. Both kids get same money whether for birthday Christmas or pocket money. 15 year old has £800 plus saved 16 year always broke got chance to earn more but only does so when desperate for something. He has got better in last 6mths, 2 yrs ago he was broke a day or 2 after pocket money. He also saved for a bigger ticket item and sold stuff to pay for it recently instead of nagging us.

[MaMaJoJo3]

I think it is common for young people to waste money-I used to as a teen. However when you move out of the comfort and safety of home reality hits! I am a saver now as money is limited. My 16 year old blows all her money yet my 18 year old is financially savvy and is determined to save every penny coming his way as he does not want to throw away money on rent in the future-he would rather get a doer upper and get on the housing ladder that way. He is currently looking for a job to carry him through uni.

[MaloneMeadow]

@CuriouslyDifferent

Snacks and sweets appear to be the common factor above, as well as the waste of money.

I grew up in a household where chocolate - sweets were a festive treat and food was restricted to dinner dinners and mum wasn’t a great cook - and I struggled to eat veg. When I got my own paper round - 90% of my money went on sweets and snacks.

later in life I learnt to cook myself and turns out her ‘veg’ was mush and I liked it crunchy, and I eat far more healthily than I was ever provided for, and quantities that leave me not hungry in ten mins.

im wondering if you haven’t upped your quantities for growing lads - and been restrictive about treats. As well as being concerned about the wastefulness of money. I know my daughters boyfriends from age 13 to 18 over the years, coke round and behave like they’ve never seen food before, always very polite, but i know to make at least double portions for them as a minimum.

I agree with this. From experience the only teens I know who get obsessed with buying sweets/junk food once given a bit of freedom are the ones who have been heavily restricted on what they eat and therefore get excited by it

[shepherdsangeldelight]

My DS used to do this around 14, but, you'll be pleased to know, did grow out of it.

Things that helped
-giving him an allowance which had to cover almost all his discretionary spending. He liked going out with his friends :)
-he got a part time job. I think earning your own money gives you a much better feeling for its value.

[allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld]

@Icandoallthings how much are you giving her for pocket money though? is he getting enough to spend and save?

[Seeline]

If it's pocket money I think that's his to spend how he likes.
If you want to encourage financial sense then give him a monthly allowance and be clear on what you expect that to cover eg sweets, social life such as cinema, toiletries, clothes apart from the basics etc
They will need to have some budgeting skills by the time they go to uni.

What are you expecting him to save for?

[Peloton46]

Do your teens pay for app subscriptions? Or are your accounts / cards connected? Sometimes I am unsure where to draw the line and starting to think they should be paying for their apps?

[shepherdsangeldelight]

@Peloton46

Do your teens pay for app subscriptions? Or are your accounts / cards connected? Sometimes I am unsure where to draw the line and starting to think they should be paying for their apps?

It depends on your overall expectation for who pays for what. We made our teens pay for app subscriptions (or more usually, they were birthday presents). We gradually phased out what we paid for. By 15/16 they had allowances and we only paid for essentials (which app subscriptions would not be!).

[aramox1]

Put your big gifts to them into a savings account or give as vouchers?

[Wallywobbles]

From aged 11ish my kids have had a decent allowance but have had to use it for all clothes, presents etc. Including sports clothes. This worked well for the 3x girls.

DSS has only been interested in clothes from 15 though.

I've never really limited snacks or food at home but if you want biscuits or cake you'd have to make them. So they all can cook.

[Wallywobbles]

And I refused to pay for the gym because I've never known anyone who goes regularly.

[Hye000]

@CuriouslyDifferent

Snacks and sweets appear to be the common factor above, as well as the waste of money.

I grew up in a household where chocolate - sweets were a festive treat and food was restricted to dinner dinners and mum wasn’t a great cook - and I struggled to eat veg. When I got my own paper round - 90% of my money went on sweets and snacks.

later in life I learnt to cook myself and turns out her ‘veg’ was mush and I liked it crunchy, and I eat far more healthily than I was ever provided for, and quantities that leave me not hungry in ten mins.

im wondering if you haven’t upped your quantities for growing lads - and been restrictive about treats. As well as being concerned about the wastefulness of money. I know my daughters boyfriends from age 13 to 18 over the years, coke round and behave like they’ve never seen food before, always very polite, but i know to make at least double portions for them as a minimum.

I could have written this… I used to do the exact same with my paper round money for the exact same reasons & this is exactly why I do not overly restrict sweet treats & juice/fizzy drinks at home so my children do not have an unhealthy obsession with the stuff. My eldest is extremely savvy with her money & manages to save most of her Xmas money to the point where she still has it for a good 6-9months afyer xmas!

[BlueskyBluesea]

Interesting thread, I'm going through similar with my teen of a similar age🫣. I had a thought that I've never really taught them how to budget, to literally write down or make a spreadsheet of their spending and income and any plans for the future (summer holiday days out/festivals). So I think that's what I'm doing this weekend, it is an important lesson ... but teen brains are not always wired to be sensible I'm finding 🤨

[Oblomov24]

Most/many ds's do buy sweets on the way to school. But ds2 also uses his for meals out with mates: kfc, Nando's etc, or x box games. Does he not like anything big so need to save aswell?