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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Motivating DS15 to revise for GCSEs

40 replies

megasord · 06/04/2016 19:11

I'm at the end of my tether with my 15 year old son. His GCSEs start in May. He did his mocks were in Jan, he did a very minimal amount of revision, hence results were so-so. All his teachers say he could get As if he put in a bit more effort. He says he wants to do A levels, with a view to going to Uni, to study Economics. Yet despite having this goal, he refuses to revise, is argumentative and aggressive when I try to talk to him about it. He shouts and swears, says I obviously think he's a loser and a failure so what's the point etc. I just want him to spend less time gaming, do a bit of study and get some decent results! I'm at a loss, any ideas as to how to encourage him and avoid the constant arguments?

OP posts:

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NicknameUsed · 11/04/2016 15:21

I might try that. Thanks.

ShanghaiDiva · 11/04/2016 10:21

Sorry - not that helpful then!
In the past I have used past papers from other boards for revision practice - might be worth looking at if you are running short of material. Your DD will know what is on the AQA syllabus and can then choose which questions to answer.

NicknameUsed · 11/04/2016 08:03

That site is no use to me as they don't have any AQA papers. I just get 404 on the page.

I have downloaded all the science papers I can from the AQA website, but they don't have that many.

ShanghaiDiva · 11/04/2016 00:09

xtremepapers.com has masses of past papers :)

Travelledtheworld · 11/04/2016 00:03

My DD was like this last year. Flatly refused to do any revision at home. Did some in school. Scraped through most GCSE's, got a couple of A's and is now in 6th form but again doing very little work.

Tried begging, bribery, threats. Nothing worked. She's just not motivated. Don't know what t to suggest.

MajesticWhine · 10/04/2016 18:57

It's difficult having that longer term view and thinking it will be worth the effort now, to have a rest afterwards. It's the short term view of "I don't want to think about it, make it go away" that obscures everything.

NicknameUsed · 10/04/2016 18:49

It just doesn't work Ginand

GinandJag · 10/04/2016 17:45

How about telling him that in 8/9 weeks they will be over? A final push and then he gets 3 months off.

He will already know all the benefits of getting high grades.

Wardrobedoors · 10/04/2016 17:40

I was in the same situation with dd this time last year. I tried everything and nagged her to death about revision. She took no notice of me and did very little. However, I have to say that they do a lot of revision at school, at least they did at dd's and that's what got her through. She did very well as it turned out but I nearly went crazy at the time.
One year later and here we go again with AS levels. I swore I would back off but I can't help but try and "encourage" her to revise. College are useless with no extra revision classes or anything so she is on her own and doing very little again, so I am not expecting much. Its so disappointing when you know they could achieve so much, but can't be bothered

NicknameUsed · 10/04/2016 09:51

I get DD to do past papers and then mark them from the mark schemes.

I feel your pain because as soon as the word revision comes into the conversation the shutters come down. I am finding it very stressful at the moment. The thing is DD can revise and has always had good results from revision in the past, but the message just isn't getting through. She is very negative and says that she just can't do it. Yet she has demonstrated more than once that she can.

I get a lot of hassle from her when I switch the router off/remove devices/hide chargers because she has absolutely no self control when it comes to using social media to contact her friends.

Roll on 17th June.

OnlyTheDepthVaries · 10/04/2016 09:34

OP - I could have written your post - my DS15 is exactly the same!
I've done everything - helped, threatened, backed off, praised, disappointed etc etc.
Next resort is to try parissont bribe for past papers - sounds really good as the money (a great DS motivator) is in his hand immediately rather than waiting for the A = £25 on results day. Thank-you all!

clary · 09/04/2016 23:41

Great idea on past papers Paris.

With DS1 last year, not a high flier and very very unwilling to do any work, I used to make him come with me to things the other 2 DC were doing (cricket practice, athletics events) and we sat and went through past papers, questions from revision guides etc. Did him no good at all to sit and read, and he doesn't do well with writing notes either, so we just talked and talked about it.

We did some past papers twice - he got better!

We would go for a walk and we would discuss five ways to make a children's menu interesting (catering GCSE) or Spanish words for games and sports. I needed to really force him and he hated it and me but I really believe it helped.

OP there is still time to make a difference. For me it really did help that I got mega involved. It was very stressful as I work full time and I more or less abandoned any leisure time for me for about 8 weeks but seeing him get 2 Cs and 3 Ds made it worthwhile :) Good luck to all the year 11s on this thread.

GasLightShining · 09/04/2016 23:33

You can lead a horse to water.. - Agree totally.

Since my DC were very young I said I don't care what grade they get as long as they have put in 100% effort.

My DS was like yours a few years back and I was tearing my hair out. He enrolled on a BTEC course and is on target for DDD* and off to uni in September.

Ticktacktock · 08/04/2016 23:01

Dd1's maths teacher sent me years of past papers last year, and now I'm using them for dd2. Thank God they've got the answer papers with them too!

She is doing a paper a day of either maths or a science. She absolutely hates revising and would never do it voluntarily. It's a battle every day to get her to do it.

So tedious. Roll on mid June.

Indiana50 · 08/04/2016 21:56

I was in this position last year, I tried pleading, cajoling, bullying - as said above, you can lead a horse to water ... His maths teacher said "go on, you can get an A*", and he did, for her. 7 x B, 1 x C, 1 x D (Art, he had to work for that, but couldn't be bothered). On no revision that I saw. So it must have been happening in school

Now doing A levels, put on support plans for every subject in first term, doesn't like studying, hates being bottom of class more. I thought they'd kick him out, but he's found a study habit after 5 years of dossing. I heard the step up from GSCE to A level has plenty of them in tears while they get used to it.

Chorltonswheelies422 · 08/04/2016 21:24

Suggest past papers to your DS. Then step back and let him get on with it but make it clear you'd be glad to help him if he needs it.

I talked to my DD about how I remembered coming up to exams, and all the emotions I felt and that past papers helped me. I think that helped her to know I understood what she was going to.

MajesticWhine · 08/04/2016 21:13

parissont - lucky you - practice papers are definitely the way to go but anything like this I suggest is met with eye rolls and muttering or worse.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 08/04/2016 19:25

Does he actually know how to study?

I think they find it daunting just looking at a pile of books/notes with no idea where to start. Do a study schedule for half hours per subject at a time - download Pomodoro timer and maybe get him to do some mind maps if he knows how to or make some decent notes - concentrate on things he understands less.

Reading stuff over is next to useless - he needs to actually make notes, do practice questions etc.

bigTillyMint · 08/04/2016 18:29

Yep. Make sure you get the right exam board, because questions/papers can be significantly different, even for something like Maths.

AnyFucker · 08/04/2016 18:25

the exam board should be on his list of exam dates, right ?

AnyFucker · 08/04/2016 18:25

thanks

parissont · 08/04/2016 18:22

We've just done a couple per subject on the board website. Google the board, subject and past papers and it should come up.

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AnyFucker · 08/04/2016 17:24

can anyone recommend any good sites for past papers ? Where do you find them ?

parissont · 08/04/2016 13:16

Sorry to hijack thread but she is enjoying them. I think because it's structured. She gets loads of choc biscuits as well

parissont · 08/04/2016 13:15

I mark them with her. The examiners report is really useful. It's actually been quite encouraging. Thus morning she did a physics paper and really did quite badly. Got 20 out of 60. She was quite downcast until we looked at the grade boundary and that would have been a C

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