Reassure me I'm not the only one with height concerns over DS [Note: Thread title has been edited by MNHQ]

[anywinewilldonow]

OK, I know those on the "giant" thread don't mean to come across as stealth boasting, but I'm sure you are all secretly very pleased that your DSs tower above others and that you don't really mind having to buy new clothes or how much they eat.

Appreciate the fact that early growers have status amongst their peers, are more popular with the girls and get an unbelievable advantage in sports over the smaller boys, who often get left behind.

Yes, my DS is nearly 16, 5' 3", and probably doesn't even weigh 8 stone. He is one of the smallest in his year now and the effect on his confidence amongst his peers is huge. He hides it well, and is generally pretty happy, but I know.

The giants are the lucky ones!

[FannyFifer]

Both my children are going to be small, they are currently the smallest in their respective classes.

I am 5'3 & DP is 5'6 and no one in either of our families are tall.

I think it is going to be more difficult for DS than DD but it's all about working to promote &
Instil in them self confidence.

[forago]

its a bit early for me to say as my DS is younger, just pre teen, so perhaps I am speaking out of turn but I really don't see this as a major issue. my DS is at least a head to a head and a half shorter than all his peers (no surprise as I am u derived 5ft) - but is quite sporty and sociable and no real issues as a result. he is aware of it and does occasionally complain about people calling him small but it doesn't really hinder him in any way yet. hope that continues.

I suppose I am blase about it be a sue my brother was the same, and is now a slightly shorter than average man just back from Afghanistan, very fit and active.

[anywinewilldonow]

Tbh Steppemum, I can understand that it's difficult as a pre-teen to tower over your peers, but we're on the teenage board here! And once they hit their teens, I think most boys would rather be tall than small.

I started this thread as I found the "giant" thread just a little annoying in the same way I guess ...

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

I find the cheery 'he'll catch up eventually and be really tall' remarks annoying too - although I know they are said with good intentions.

A lot of people aren't late bloomers. All you can do is instil confidence-

if he likes football, look to messi, schoolers, Owen, etc.

If he likes politics, look to napoleon and er, some other ones etc...

[mercibucket]

Did you ask the GP for advice?

[mysteryfairy]

My DS2 was similarly small in y10 and it was awful. He'd been average height and quite chunky in primary school but just seemed to stop growing by y6. By y10 I had withdrawn him from the school rugby team because I honestly felt it was dangerous for him to be playing with 6ft tall stocky 16 year olds. He got so fed up with being told off for being in parts of the school that were out of bounds to y7s.

DH and I and my other two children are all tall which made it worse. his sister who is five years younger nearly caught up with him by age 10. I was consequently worried there was an underlying medical reason for him being so small. We got an endichronology referral for him but no reason was ever identified. He did eventually grow in y11 and becomes another anecdote about reaching nearly 6ft tall and may not yet have stopped. He still only weighs 9 stone though. However we never had any confidence he would grow and had put a lot of effort into trying to boost his self esteem when he was 5ft 2 but I think it did have a profound effect.

[YourLittleSecret]

Being tall can make them self concious as well when they are only 13.
My observation of DSs' friends is that some do spurt as late as 17.

Of course the genes play a part, two short parents are unlikely to have tall children.
My younger DS, now a giant, was 15 before his big growth spurt years behind his brother.

[dementedma]

Re. the term midget. There is a boy with a growth disorder in Ds year, first year high school and when the boys were chatting one of them asked " are you a dwarf then?" This wasn't said maliciously, just asked in the general way lads ask each other stuff but he replied quite clearly " No, I'm a midget". When I told Ds off for using that term when recounting a story about C, who is now his friend, he looked surprised and said " well, that's what C says he is "
Hope he's right......would hate to be causing offence but are taking the lead from the boy himself.

[TheScottishPlay]

The 'giants'!!! aren't always the lucky ones. My DS has a growth disorder too. He is the same height as your DS at 10, takes medication 4x daily (including 1 tablet at midnight) and attends regular hospital appointments. His growth has slowed now but this has taken years of treatment and vigilance by us and his consultants.
I empathise that your son is unhappy with his stature but I assure you my DS has been equally unhappy with his too.

[anywinewilldonow]

I can appreciate that it is really tough for those with growth disorders. This thread was not intended to be in any way about that, or to belittle how hard it must be.

My point is simply that, in general (there are always exceptions), it is harder, psychologically and physically, for the late bloomers than those that grow tall faster. That's all.

So to those that "complain" that their sons are growing out of all their clothes and eating them out of house and home - I just say that maybe they should be grateful. I'm sure my DS wishes he could grow out of his clothes!

To those that have asked, DH and I are tall, yes. And, no, we haven't been to the GP yet. I've mentioned it a few times in the past year or so and he's always got really upset, so I've left it and now he's in the middle of GCSEs. Once they are finished, I'll raise it with him again and we'll see the GP. I was pretty late going through puberty though, so I hope he's just taking after me!

[drivenfromdistraction]

Could he have coeliac disease, OP?

[mercibucket]

I would definitely speak to the GP if you are both tall

[ItsMyFuckingWedding]

I was about 5ft 3 until I was 15/16. I am now 5ft 11!

He hasn't stopped maturing yet!

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

My twin ds were always different. Thing one, tall and thin. Thing two was never tall as his brother but ok until teens. He wasa lot shorter than his brother and put on loads of weight also slow to reach puberty.When he was 16 he was just over 5 ft and had a 36 inch waist. He was getting very stressed and anxious. Dr prescribed hormone injections, which he stressed would only help him reach his normal height. He is now 23, 5' 9" and very slim. (He is still the short one amongst his 6ft + df and DB, but towers over shorty me)

[mysteryfairy]

Anywine when we went to the GP for my DS I actually had an initial appointment on my own to prep the GP for DS's arrival to try and minimise the embarrassment for DS. He was subsequently seen by a consultant quite quickly - they did a bone age via X-rays, some blood tests and I think the most embarrassing for DS measured his testicles against a kind of string of beads that gradually got bigger - this confirmed he was in puberty. His bone age was 2 years behind his chronological age. DS had some previous medical issues including a long hospital stay aged 13 and might have been fast tracked because of this. I still think that period of illness might have inhibited his growth temporarily. I had BUPA cover through work but there didn't seem to be an endochronologist who took paediatric private patients anywhere we could realistically travel to so was very relieved it was taken seriously by the NHS.

I didn't start my periods until 15 so I suppose DS is the male equivalent late developer. I think I was probably relatively short until quite late through my teens, but it's something that as a girl does not register in the same way.

It was strange when DS did grow. He literally went up 3 shoe sizes in a term and as his feet had remained the same size over the prior 4 years it was very difficult to believe - he had to be measured in Clarks before I accepted it had really happened.

[steppemum]

Op I think you still really don't get it.

"So to those that "complain" that their sons are growing out of all their clothes and eating them out of house and home - I just say that maybe they should be grateful. I'm sure my DS wishes he could grow out of his clothes!"

^^

You seem to have completely missed the point of my previous post. pre-teen or teenage, it is uncomfortable and embarrassing to not be able to buy basic things like shoes. To have the feet of a clown. To not fit into a standard bed, to never go to a theatre because your legs are too long to fit in the seats. These are all things my brother have and my ds will face. And it is a real issue for me that ds goes through clothes and shoes so fast, it is very expensive, and money is tight.

I do understand your frustration over your son, and yes I think overall it is easier in our society to be tall rather than short, but as I said in my previous post, being very tall has its own set of issues. Please stop dissing parents of tall kids and dismissing them as everything is fine for you.

It is entirely possible to acknowledge that both extremes have difficulties associated with them.

[anywinewilldonow]

Steppemum, I think if you read my last post properly, you would see that I acknowledge that there are always exceptions to the general rule that it is easier for tall boys....so I did not miss it your point at all......... And, of course, buying new clothes now will save you money later - they do stop growing, you know.

Thanks for the extra info, mystery fairy, that's very helpful. We have private health, so I hope he can be seen pretty quickly once we set things in motion. I know he'll be mortified at the thought of being examined, though.

[DenzelWashington]

Being an 'outlier' as a teenager is generally hard. There was an exceptionally tall boy at school with me who had it pretty hard, and two exceptionally small ones in my class (both still short and slight as adults) who really hated it. One was quite picked on.

So I suppose the message must be a combination of anti-bullying and making sure that for all children, physical attributes are seen as less significant.

[RuddyDuck]

Op, has your son actually gone through puberty yet? He sounds similar to my ds2, also Year11.

Ds1 grew at a really rapid rate at age 12 - size 12 feet, almost 6ft by age 13, and I sympathise with all the posters who complain about rapid growth, it was VERY expensive! He also had spots, greasy hair, and horrible teenage begaviour.

Ds2 was average heigt at end of primary, but his growth was slow through secondary and was relatively short by the end of year 10 (5' 6") - most of his friends were taller. However, he hadn't really hit puberty, was still a very "young" 14 year old.

Then, in the last year, he has hit puberty big time. Spots, horrid behaviour, sleeping for England, and a massive growth rate. He is now almost 16, and 6 ft tall. He has broadened out, and weighs almost 11 stone. He has 3 close friends who until recently all towered over him. One of them is now shorter than him!

Boys go through puberty later than girls. My dh is 6ft 1 and I am 5 ft 5 so I was confident that ds2 would grow, but didn't expect it to be so late on given our experiences with ds1.

If your ds hasn't yet gone through puberty then he probably is gearing up for his growth spurt. But if you are worried why not go and have a chat with your GP without ds in tow.

[anywinewilldonow]

RuddyDuck - no, he hasn't gone through puberty - but he may be in the early stages. Still no hair under armpits or on face. When I asked him a few months ago if there were any changes "down there", he wasn't sure, so I guess that meant there wasn't any pubic hair at that point either.

I really hope things are starting to happen for him! His feet have started to look a bit bigger, so that might be a good sign...

[RuddyDuck]

I would be more worried if he had already gone through puberty. Boys keep growing until late teens, so there's still time. Ds2 showed no signs of puberty whatsoever until last summer, when he turned 15. I have no idea if he has pubic hair now, as he would die of embarrassment if I I asked, but he's not shaving yet. Lots of other signs though.

Hopefully it's the same for your ds.

[bubby64]

I have twin boys who are 13 and, apart from a girl with a growth disorder, they are the two shortest in yr8, amoungst both the boys and girls! They get really fed up, especially when they are patted on the head, or picked last in sports teams, or cannot see something in a crowd over their fellow pupils heads. They were inordinately pleased last year when, finally, they were tall enough to go on rides a lot of their peers had been going on for a couple of years.
They keep on at me, saying they will never grow, and I keep reassuring them that I am sure they will, as dh is 5.11 and I am 5.7, so not exactly short, but my mum was only 5.2 so I hope I am not building their hopes up.