My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Join to connect with others in similar situations and discuss legal processes, costs, well-being, and types of surrogacy.

Surrogacy

Anyone been a surrogate before?

15 replies

Nicnac1998 · 21/04/2020 10:19

Hi has anyone been a surrogate before in Scotland?
What's the laws?
Can you be paid?
If the parents decided they no longer want the child what happens then?
Do you use your own eggs?
I have so many questions

Any info or expierences would be great thanks

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 21/04/2020 10:21

No you can’t be paid.

If the surrogate parents don’t want the baby you either keep it yourself or surrender it to social services.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 21/04/2020 10:23

Google.com

EarlGreyT · 21/04/2020 10:31

Can you be paid? no. You can be paid reasonable expenses but nothing else

If the parents decided they no longer want the child what happens then?. The surrogate either keeps the child or hands to social services
Do you use your own eggs? it depends why you’re a surrogate, you can be a traditional surrogate or a gestational surrogate. If you don’t use your own eggs, the eggs can either come from the intended parent or can be donor eggs from a 3rd party.

EarlGreyT · 21/04/2020 10:31
OhHolyJesus · 22/04/2020 19:45

Are you a journalist OP or thinking of being a surrogate?

There are plenty of other threads in this if you search this board.

If you are thinking of doing it yourself what is your motivation?

OhHolyJesus · 22/04/2020 19:48

Surrogacy UK is not a balanced source by the way.

As the birth mother you are the legal parent until a parental order is granted which can be months after the birth as it goes through family courts

Parents do change their minds.:

www.abc.net.au/news/2019-08-20/ukraines-commercial-surrogacy-industry-leaves-disaster/11417388

You could also look up Baby Gammy and hear about what happened to his twin sister.

RefreshingOcean · 22/04/2020 19:48

I haven't been a surrogate but no you can't be paid and the eggs could be yours or someone else's.

If you are only 22 I would say you are probably too young to get involved in this. It could be emotional and most surrogates have had at least one pregnancy before being a surrogate so they know what to expect.

FannyCann · 22/04/2020 22:59

OP you might like to listen to a couple of podcasts that explain a lot of the issues.
In the first the woman is currently about half way through her pregnancy. Early on in her pregnancy she suffered a life threatening pulmonary embolism probably related to the hormones she had to take as part of the fertility treatment to impregnate her.
The doctor treating her told her that if she continued to take the hormones she would be highly likely to die. Her commissioning parent and the fertility specialist still insisted she should continue to take the fertility hormones against the advice of her hospital doctor treating her for the PE. She had to literally spell out to the commissioning parent that if she died he would not get a baby.
Her health will be impacted forever.






podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/venus-rising/id1481872967?i=1000467220094





podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/free-birth-society/id1231912533?i=1000465605381

FannyCann · 22/04/2020 23:00
FannyCann · 22/04/2020 23:02
FannyCann · 22/04/2020 23:08

This is a case of a British couple who rejected one twin because they didn't want "a dribbling cabbage".


www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/children/11055643/British-mother-rejected-disabled-twin-because-she-was-a-dribbling-cabbage-says-surrogate.html

Nicnac1998 · 27/04/2020 09:50

Thanks everyone sorry for not responding sooner! I already have a 3 year old and am at home already so why not use it doing something good for someone if I can?
Its just risky business

OP posts:
OhHolyJesus · 27/04/2020 13:57

Do you have a husband or a partner OP? If you are married your husband would be considered the legal father and you would be the legal father so that would be one thing to consider.

If you have a partner who is the father of your child have you discussed the issues around having a baby that is genetically to you and your child that you and your child wouldn't know and could possibly be living abroad?

If you had a baby that came from a donor egg it's possible that the egg donor would suffer ill health and you wouldn't know.

Also, your child is young and I suspect too young to understand that your pregnant tummy doesn't result in them having a sibling. It could be quite confusing for them, especially when you have to explain away comments from well-wishers in supermarket queues or family members.

Do you have an extended family or a network to support you? The Uk has good maternal health rates in the Uk compared to other countries, even the US, but you should consider a will and where your child would go if the worst was to happen.

As you say it is risky, some risks can be prevented but not all.

OhHolyJesus · 27/04/2020 14:49

*mother

(You would be the legal mother. My understanding is that the parental order can take some time to go through, a few months, so it would be something to consider as a responsibility after you have given birth, as well as the matching and legal processes even before implantation is completed.)

I saw something recently where the UKs first surrogate Kim Cotton, (who sold her first surrogate and it resulted in the laws being changed to make commercially surrogacy illegal in the Uk) talking about recruiting women like you, who are at home with a child already. She actually mentioned it as if a woman might be on maternity leave and with nothing else to do but have a baby for someone else. It sounded rather crass to me as you do have a baby to look after when you are on mat leave! I know I was hardly twiddling my thumbs...

If you are at home with a child and looking for something to occupy your time there are far less risky ways to help others. Apart from all the legal and medical appointments to attend where you would probably not be able to take your child with you, if you were to suffer with very serious morning sickness you might be hospitalised if you became dehydrated and I even if it was mild it could be tricky to care for your own child whilst you grow one for someone else.

I fear the mainstream media are quite biased on the subject of surrogacy so you might want to read an alternate view from this woman who was a surrogate.

nordicmodelnow.org/2020/01/29/i-was-an-altruistic-surrogate-and-am-now-against-all-surrogacy/

I am clearly against surrogacy but I share this so you can be informed. If you only heard one side of the story you wouldn't be making an informed decision. There are lots of people out there to advise you and they do financially benefit so please bear that in mind.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.