When is it time to quit with long hair?

[CharlottesComplicatedWeb]

So, I think I look like this...


But actually have a feeling I look more like this...

How will I know when it’s time to go for a sensible/appropriate cut for a 57yr old woman?

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

P.S. The posters who insist you'll end up with a crappy cut must know some bad hairdressers. I've had tons of compliments on my shorter hair, probably because I discussed it in advance with my hairdresser, we looked at different styles and decided on one that works for my hair type and bone structure. To suggest that a short cut will inevitably look rubbish on every single person is ludicrous! Oh, and I look younger apparently.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

It does depend on your hair type. Jennifer Aniston is Greek and her natural hair is thick - I actually think she probably wears a wig now as it doesn’t look natural any more. The second lady who you have posted a pic of as thick, curly hair that could benefit from a tiny trim but is actually a pretty good hairstyle.

[cbt944]

P.S. The posters who insist you'll end up with a crappy cut must know some bad hairdressers.

Nope. These are just the looks apparently deemed suitable for the middle-aged/over whatever age woman in my observation. They may be very well cut but, in my view, look hideous, and require frequent return trips to said hairdresser, whether in a stylish salon or a cheap shop, to have the cut recut (usually into an even more heinous 'style').

Once upon a time, women had their hair cut short and permed and set in a cauliflower shape, much like the Queen. Now they get a bob, Dutch bob, lob, some wispy version of a lob, a funky spikey cut, a pixie, etc etc. It's some rite of passage.

If your hair is thin and just won't grow then such cuts are making the best of the bad situation, but the pressure short-haired woman put on other women to cut their hair off at a certain age, I find sinister.

[eaglejulesk]

@cbt944 - what a charming person you are! If people want to have short hair they can, and what you think of it doesn't matter one bit. I don't tell people how they should wear their hair as it is up to them, but in reality long hair only looks good if it is thick, glossy and healthy. Thin wispy long hair is not attractive at all. Also, so many people with long hair either wear it up or in a ponytail because they can't be bothered doing anything else with it - what is the point?? As for your judgey middle-aged/over whatever comments, what sort of world do you live in - I see plenty of young women -as well as older women -with sassy short cuts, and they look gorgeous. I have not heard of any pressure put on women to have their hair cut but some women reach a stage where they simply can't be bothered with long hair any more, and that is their right. You sound like a right piece of work tbh.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

@cbt944

P.S. The posters who insist you'll end up with a crappy cut must know some bad hairdressers.

Nope. These are just the looks apparently deemed suitable for the middle-aged/over whatever age woman in my observation. They may be very well cut but, in my view, look hideous, and require frequent return trips to said hairdresser, whether in a stylish salon or a cheap shop, to have the cut recut (usually into an even more heinous 'style').

Once upon a time, women had their hair cut short and permed and set in a cauliflower shape, much like the Queen. Now they get a bob, Dutch bob, lob, some wispy version of a lob, a funky spikey cut, a pixie, etc etc. It's some rite of passage.

If your hair is thin and just won't grow then such cuts are making the best of the bad situation, but the pressure short-haired woman put on other women to cut their hair off at a certain age, I find sinister.

This is true. I come from an Indian background and most older women (think 80+) often have really lushcious, long, and thick hair which their daughters just don’t have. I think this is partly because the latter have been brainwashed into believing that short hair is easier and takes less time to manage than long - but the truth is it took my grandmothers exactly 30mins to wash their lovely hair and then would roll it into a bun in 10s flat to dry. While my mum and aunts would spend an hour washing, another hour blowdrying it straight, and then countless time touching it up.

[1forAll74]

I think that some women can look good with long hair when older,if hair is in great condition,and styled well..It can look good,if your face has stayed fresh and young looking too. But have noticed a few women around, who have aged badly in their 50's, and still want to have straight straggly shapeless hair, just draped around their face, and look quite awful, as the style no longer suits them, and drags their facial features and looks down.

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

@GrumpyHoonMain. That’s wonderful if their hair is luscious long and thick in their 80’s. My DD has lovely, thick hair inherited from her Dad’s side and she may decide to keep it long forever, it’s glorious!

I, however, inherited my Mum’s fine, flyaway hair that’s a right pain! When it was long, it looked best pulled back or piled on my head, because it emphasized my eyes and skin, my better features.

So, I’ve had it cut into a 1960’s Twiggy style that also emphasizes my eyes and skin, without the hair hassle. I love it, but it’s not part of my middle-aged manifesto. Most of my middle-aged friends have long hair, I’m the outlier.

[cbt944]

[quote eaglejulesk]@cbt944 - what a charming person you are! If people want to have short hair they can, and what you think of it doesn't matter one bit. I don't tell people how they should wear their hair as it is up to them, but in reality long hair only looks good if it is thick, glossy and healthy. Thin wispy long hair is not attractive at all. Also, so many people with long hair either wear it up or in a ponytail because they can't be bothered doing anything else with it - what is the point?? As for your judgey middle-aged/over whatever comments, what sort of world do you live in - I see plenty of young women -as well as older women -with sassy short cuts, and they look gorgeous. I have not heard of any pressure put on women to have their hair cut but some women reach a stage where they simply can't be bothered with long hair any more, and that is their right. You sound like a right piece of work tbh.[/quote]
Oh, a personal attack!

It is only my opinion and observation. I am not saying how someone should look. How bizarre to leap to assumptions about my character, though.

There are plenty of mature women with shorter, midlength etc hair that do look lovely, but these women tend to find their own look and cut it as they please, themselves.

I certainly am not wishing to deprive you or anyone else of their right to sport a shorter hair cut, merely mentioning that women - now that we no longer shame one another for not lacing our corsets tight enough, or not wearing a girdle, or god forbid showing a bit of ankle - now leap upon one another and push this agenda or ritual of seemliness, regarding hair length.

Given hair has long been a symbol of both sexuality and femininity, to insist a woman of 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60 - whatever, the cut off point is arbitrary - removes the length of her hair is to my mind as binding and desexing and shaming, as if we were all living in Gilead.

The OP stated she was 55. Hardly see what your problem is with my use of terms like 'of a certain age' or 'middle-age'. But it is in those years particularly that the desexing squad come out with their notions of a suitable 'do. That is the topic, not whether any woman of any age ever looked nice with short hair.

[streamlinedcaverns]

When you are fed up with it ? I'm keeping my long hair as it's still curly and shiny and I like it, it's personal preference.

[garlictwist]

I'm 39 so Middle aged I guess and have long hair. My hair is super thick and it's so much easier to manage being long as the weight makes it hang better. I get it cut every three months and thinned out so it's not just a big bush. Not sure what I will do when I go grey though.

[coffeerice]

I'm 60, long hair, still strawberry blonde apart from a slight touch of white at the temples which isn't noticeable.
My hair is my absolute best feature, shiny, healthy and lush. It's just the rest of my body that doesn't fit!!
My DH loves my hair, I do too.
But I do have this concern that I'm mutton dressed as lamb.

[SnowsInWater]

I'm the same age as you OP and had the decision made for me as my hair all fell out during Chemo last year 😁 I assumed I would want it back at least shoulder length ASAP as I had hated myself with short hair the couple of times in my life I ended up with a short cut. Now I have found a hairdresser that cuts short hair really well and everyone is telling me to keep it short as it looks so good. It is so easy to look after too, a bit of hair gel and I'm done. If you are not sure though maybe take a more gradual approach if you want a change, but don't feel you have to cut it at a certain age.

[BarkingHat]

I’m 52 with very thick strawberry blonde hair that has no grey. It gets blonde highlights in the summer. It is easy to style and in v good condition. It is my best feature. It’s just below shoulder length. Unfortunately my face doesn’t fit! I’m going jowly....it’s a bugger as I think a shorter cut would suit my face, but I love my hair.

My older brother, v similar colour and thickness of hair, has just started to go speckle ginger at the age of 56, I reckon I’ve got till then!

[trappedsincesundaymorn]

I would love to be able to grow my hair long but it's so thick and wavy I end up looking like the old cartoon character Crystal Tips.

[ShadylilFocker]

You got some excellent advice here op. Just adding to the chorus that hair on a bad weather day is not an accurate representative of the state of your hair.. and that long hair needs lots of tlc in terms of trims, protein/moisturising.
I think yours just needs some TLC instead of chopping it all off.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

@OrangeSamphire

Long forever. Or do something unusual with it that you really love.

Don’t be safe.

There is nothing more boring than a middle aged woman with a shoulder length bob followed by an older woman with that awful Gloria Hunniford style cut.

Hah! I agree. Can spot a 40+ English woman from miles away by the uniform hair cut and colour choices.

[sassafras123]

I just don't get why women of a certain age suddenly lop off their long locks and get the 'uniform' short look as if it is expected once past the age of 55 -60. And beige things appear in the wardrobe, I have a morbid fear of both !

[BakewellGin1]

I'm 37 now... Always had long hair although nowadays my long is just below bra strap.
I really did let myself go in the year after having DS2 and didn't take care of myself.

Hair has been every colour but was darker at that point. I've recently decided to make a few lifestyle changes so it has now been stripped of all box colours, is copper with a few subtle highlights. It feels and looks nice and shiny, healthier (which I am keeping up with twice weekly hair masks) and had a few inches cut off it.

There is a huge difference between long unruly not looked after hair and hair that is shaped well, in good condition and tidy.

[Fortyfifty]

My mum, and lots of her friends, have had their short hair grow out over lockdown and they are not going back to it. They're was obviously a time when women reached an age and went supershort and never dealt with the growing out phase to try it longer again. I'm not saying they have long flowing locks that can be tied up, but some length.

My point is that even if you want it shorter, you can just have some inches cut off and see how it looks. No need to go for a drastic different cut.

I have chin length hair, all one length, blunt cut. But my hairdresser puts in internal layers so it lies less flat, and avoids triangle hair as it grows out at the back. It grew out fine during lockdown and I was able to thin out bits underneath without changing the overall look. I had much longer hair a year ago and now don't like to see those photos.

[Katharinablum]

But women of a certain age don't all get their hair cut off at a particular age nowadays. What a generalisation and absolute rubbish ! Maybe in the 60s, 70s or 80s but not nowadays. And the idea that they all wear beige is another lazy ageist generalisation that again harks back the 1970s. As if women are passive and have no independent thought
I used to have straight shiny hair. With perimenopause it's turned into a frizzy grey nest. It's thining and breaking off and looks dreadful. I doubt that it would look good even with a decent haircut once I wash and style it myself.
At the moment it's in a ponytail with a hairband to disguise the gray and the broken ends. I may get it cut into a pixie, I may not but if I did have lovely luxuriant long hair that suited me no way would I cut it. The one thing that often does age is cheap box colouring - it can end up too dark or orangey but some of us just can't afford expensive highlights every month or two.

[Floisme]

I just don't get why women of a certain age suddenly lop off their long locks and get the 'uniform' short look as if it is expected once past the age of 55 -60.
I suggest you ask some 55-60 year-old women. They may well tell you that their hair thinned out drastically during / after menopause.

[WinnieLo]

I really doubt Jennifer Anniston wears a wig! why would she!

She is only 51. Her hair is thick. If she can manage to squeeeze in a trip to the hair dressers once ever three weeks then it's no wonder her hair looks so good.

Why on earth would she wear a wig

[WinnieLo]

@Floisme

I just don't get why women of a certain age suddenly lop off their long locks and get the 'uniform' short look as if it is expected once past the age of 55 -60.
I suggest you ask some 55-60 year-old women. They may well tell you that their hair thinned out drastically during / after menopause.

Because our 75 year old mums are still telling us what to do.

Even though my hair is tick and frizzy and not suited to a short cut at all, my mum is always tutting my hair. She doesn't get that I am not her. Still.

[itsaratrap]

trappedsincesundaymorn

I would love to be able to grow my hair long but it's so thick and wavy I end up looking like the old cartoon character Crystal Tips.”

Loved Crystal Tips and odd Alistair.
Please, please, please grow it long and dye it purple too

[WinnieLo]

@PlanDeRaccordement it's worse in the USA I think. Have you ever watched makeoverguy? I like the lovely make up they do on the women, they really do know how to do beautiful make up to flatter who ever shows up, even if when she sits down in the chair you think, oh this one will challenge the make up artists, but they never fail to make her look lovely, but 99 times out of a 100 they will give her a ''gloria hunniford'' unless she orders them not to!!