Please help me help 10 yo DD become more stylish....

[HelloItsMeAgain]

My beautiful 10yo DD & I had a heart to heart last night when she told me some of her friends are teasing her a bit about her lack of interest in style/fashion. (They are at a school with no uniform - Yr5)

We are quite out-doorsy kind of people - climbing, kayaking, walking, camping - so clothes for all of us tend to be about practicality - warm, waterproofing, layers etc. Her clothes for school mirror this a bit but are not just the practical stuff - more a mix of Next, Landsend, Hi-gear/Outdoor wear stuff and supermarket stuff.

My DD is beautiful (clearly ) and she has been, up until now, quite happy with jeans, t-shirt, fleece and boots/trainers. As she said last night "Surely being able to put together a t-shirt and jeans that go is enough." She is not particularly interested in fashion and does not want to grow up and change (according to her).

I am not going to force her to get more "fashionable". I love the fact she thinks the other girls who are getting into it are just trying to grow up too quickly. But I do want to help her make clothes choices that she is comfortable with. Yes when climbing and kayaking you wear the right kit. But that if she wants she can wear stylish stuff too. But oh wise MNetters - I do not have a clue.

Not a scooby.

I am not fashion-savvy. I wear jeans, vests, v-necks with converse/Vans/Birkenstocks. Fairly classic in wardrobe- though I may have a bit of a teeny tiny quirk - like bright pink birkies or leopard print Vans to liven up the grey v-neck/black jeans. My nod to growing older is to not give two hoots about what people think about my wardrobe and to relish being able to afford cashmere jumpers now So my knowledge/interest in fashion is pretty low. non-existent Not sure if I have a single designer item in my wardrobe. Took me 3 years to bother to buy skinny-jeans.

So - help. Please? How can I guide her? Are there appropriate magazines we could look at? What (preferable on-line/mail-order) clothes ranges should we browse next time she needs some clothes (some stuff is getting a tad small so possible due some updating). Is Next OK? Or should I take her to John Lewis? Somewhere else?

Thank you in advance. My mum never helped me with this stuff just carried on giving me hand-me-downs and frumpy homemade dresses so I want to help her develop her own style and self-confidence.

[ShutUpLegs]

TKMAxx terrifies me. I think its fine if you have the patience to sift and the nous to know what you are looking for. Otherwise, I'd avoid unless you are doing a lightening raid to look for Birkenstocks Converse.

[QueenC]

I haven't read the whole thread yet but my 10yo dd is getting very intetested in clothes. The outfit of choice amongst her and her friends tends to be denim shorts and tights with a tee or shirt and hoody. Shoe wise she has some tan ankle boots and has pinched my old converse!

I tend to get her clothes from a mixture of places-zara, gap, m&s, next, Fatface, primark and John Lewis.

[Higge]

Dd puts on a pair of converse or black DMs and looks instantly cool....she wears leggings, t shirts, slouchy jumpers, soft scarf, parka, bobble hat. I leave her with H&M website - she orders a massive pile of stuff and then we have a catwalk session at home - return anything that isn't suitable. Took her into Jack Wills last week for the first time, she wasn't impressed and I was relieved.

[SanityClause]

DD2 got a bit upset at a similar age that she didn't know much about the crap boy bands that everyone else seemed to know all about.

She also didn't really have a style, either, and as she was a bit chubby, it was really hard to find clothes that fitted, and were stylish and age appropriate.

Now she's 14, she has different friends who share her taste in music. And she has her own distinctive style of dressing. (Which is very different to mine.)

Your DD will get there.

[PirateSmile]

One of ds1's friends who is super stylish started wearing colourful doc marten boots at around the age your dd is. She always looked very cool in them.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Oh I forgot. Leggings still very popular...

[SuperFlyHigh]

What you could do is go with your DD and one of her close friends shopping....

You could take in Paperchase, wagamama and then browse before or after.

I've got a friend with 3 girls of ages similar to your DD (over under and same) and neighbour with DD now 12.

What's very popular is denim shorts with tights under, sweatshirts with slogans (or no slogan), the odd dress (more casual) and the occasional sweater dress with leggings etc. converse are popular, jeans generally seem to be out. Brands appear to be anything from sainsburys TU to H&M to proper brands but they're not fussy about brands. The biker jacket I agree is for braver girls! I've seen them mostly in parka fake fur trimmed jackets for winter. Oh and fake or real Uggs! They seem to fight against anything too white and frilly and party dress looking. hardly surprising

I often buy them (eg at Christmas) glitter tights in H&M and those fake leather bracelets and roses for hair (hair bands) and the odd H&M tshirt, or Gap tops (long sleeved). They also tend to like things like bags - the other day I saw one of them with a pale blue patent larger bag from Sainsburys I think (the 11 year old) but she was thrilled with it!

[iPaid]

It is a time of transition, isn't it OP? I'm not looking forward to DD starting secondary school where there will be real peer pressure. I hope that my DD, like yours, will continue to march to the beat of her own drum.

Shopping phobics like you and me should avoid the racks at TKMaxx as it's very hit and miss though you can get reasonably priced Converse there.

[choppychopster]

Johnnie B stuff from boden is often nice for this age group but their main kids range would be deemed lame by DD now.

[CamdenTownie]

Also just a thought, my girls both love the emoji tops and tshirts you can buy in next and primark, would your dd like something like that?

[choppychopster]

9yo DD would love the biker jacket up thread!

She's started to get more in to fashion recently and is getting better at putting outfits together. One of her favourite Christmas presents was a H&M red checked shirt (90s grunge style) which she wears with skinny jeans or denim shorts with tights.

She finds stuff she likes in most of the shops mentioned and usually begs me for a mountain of stuff when we go shopping.

[CamdenTownie]

I've got two daughters of a similar age to your dd, one knows exactly what she likes and is very stylish in a tomboy kind of way, she wears skinny jeans mostly, with baggy jumpers, long sleeved tshirts, DM's or her most prized possession Nike Huaraches, a lovely warm parka coat with a fur hood. She has waist length hair usually in a side or high ponytail. Large hair bows are very much the in thing here.

The other dd wears all sorts of crazy combinations, I do try to steer her towards clothes that at least match, but she's always been very determined and to be honest she really wouldn't care what anyone else thinks.

Boden is a big no no, whilst the clothes are lovely for toddles it's not great for older girls, we buys loads from Zara, h&m - although this stuff isn't great quality, Next and house of Fraser.

[HelloItsMeAgain]

Oh, and anyone have any opinions on whether TK Maxx would any good? As above, I hate shopping and TK Maxx rummage racks are my idea of hell. Would the stock there be worth looking it or is it hit and miss and we could end up with the equivalent of 1980s pedal-pushers? (See, totally clueless about what is fashionable)

And btw I will try and look at what the other girls are wearing - but mostly hidden by coats at the moment! Up until now I will confess my eyes mostly do not see what people (young or old) are wearing.

And finally, to clarify, DD is not totally out of sync with her peers - the denim jeans over leggings/tights, the skinnys and hoodies, etc It is just taking it to the next level I suppose.

[HelloItsMeAgain]

Ipaid the "I love the fact she thinks the other girls who are getting into it are just trying to grow up too quickly." could have come across as sneery if you read it into a criticism of the other girls. Accept that - but totally not meant that way.

What I mean was that I love that she did not let the teasing get to her - she knows where it is coming from - pre-teens trying to be more grown up (understandable - it is what happens) getting interested in what they look like/what they wear. She just thinks (wants) they should all still be playing chase and make-believe in the playground - to play. She said several times last night that she didn't want to grow up and stop playing. She is happy with the jeans and t-shirts attire. So I love that she hasn't let the comments "get" to her. Or send her on a "I must now stop chasing around with my brother and talking about Minecraft" and requesting the latest Tween magazine (whatever it is). And yes, to me, it hurts to see them interested in fashion. And maybe part of me has been resisting this part of her growing up to.

However, what I needed was advice on where to shop - and where to take her/what catalogues to show her - so that if/when she did start taking more of an interest both she and I have more of a clue. And I have had that, so thank you everyone. V appreciated.

And I do not her wanting to do what I did when I was about 11 - wear leg-warmers to hide the fact my jeans were not skinny. Yep, legwarmers up to my knees to hide the "flares" of my baby-ish, non-stylish jeans. shows age

[JellyTotCat]

H&M have got 10% off at the moment

[TaperJeanGirl]

My dd would also not be shopping on her own just yet, she would buy pens and small keyrings also, our local big shopping center would be Westfield Stratford... Not gonna happen!

[HeyMicky]

Vertbaudet is online and has some really lovely things - lots of good neutrals and knits, but if an edge, not too many slogans

[TaperJeanGirl]

My eldest dd is also 10, and at a non uniform school, she wears denim shorts with tights under, bright purple dr martens and usually band t shirts with a hoody or very fine knit cardi, she also wears converse/vans and occasionally nikes, when not wearing a band t shirt it's usually just a plain best under the hoodie/cardie, for parties she's started to refuse dresses now, it's really just nicer versions of the above but with biker boots and some jewellery and lipgloss, I get most of her stuff from H&M, also it's worth having a look in Zara, and sometimes river island has some nice bits in but you have to sift through the really grown up stuff... Oh and backpacks are big at our school, my girls have mi pacs and David and Goliath ones with a billion keyrings and small stuffed animals hanging off them....

[JellyTotCat]

I was going to suggest looking at the H&M catalogue and getting ideas from that.

[Backingvocals]

You don't sound sneary at all . No idea where that came from.

I don't think you need to overthink this or do lots of research. I'd just take her to H&M and let her pick a couple of things that catch her eye, working out while you do it which leggings/shoes they'd go with. And take it from there if she's interested.

DD is also not that fussed although she's 9 so perhaps it's yet to come. She has a couple of pairs of nice boots that give everything a bit of style and a nice military jacket from Monsoon that looks quite fashiony and it dresses things up without any effort. this one

It means she's got a couple of things that have a style and the rest she doesn't have to bother about.

Could you show her the Johnnie B catalogue and ask if any particular look appeals? and then recreate it from somewhere cheaper

[BlackBagTheBorderBinLiner]

This might sound rather madly mid-life crisis but have a think about what colours 'suit' your daughter. Google 'Colour me beautiful' or 'House of Colour', there is also lots in the style & beauty section.

I've got two girls, slightly different colouring and seeing how stuff that looks brilliant on one, drains the life out of the other is very interesting.

The best bit about kids wardrobes is that within twoish years it will all be replaced as they grow out of it ignores DD squeezing into her fav jumper, gradually getting a grip of colours and essentials with a few fun bits does n't take long.

[Love2dance]

You DO NOT come across as sneery! There are other things than fashion out there. Great that you are looking to help her out at a time when fashion etc is becoming important to her. Also great that she has a mum from whom she will hopefully learn that real style comes from finding ones own style and being comfortable with yourself. Also that a lot of seemingly stylish girls turn into seemingly stylish women who are just following the herd.

[Greengardenpixie]

Seriously? She is ten.
My dd likes clothes but to be more stylish???? she has years ahead! Or maybe its just me.

[iPaid]

You and DD came across as sneery with comments such as I love the fact she thinks the other girls who are getting into it are just trying to grow up too quickly

Surely it's just something they enjoy and are interested in just like your DD and mine enjoy sports and being outdoors?

You're not being pfb about not wanting your DD to shop with friends yet. I just thought it was a solution to your dislike of clothes shopping (which I share!). Enclosed shopping centre, mobile phone and some equally mature friends, look round a handful of shops whilst you have a mocha in Costa - great fun for them but maybe not just yet

[Branleuse]

I think your dd sounds absolutely fine as she is, and I would be more considering how to brush off teasing, and maybe determining how bad the teasing is. If its low level bullying or not. Are these girls really good friends? Is it worth having a word with the teacher?


Having said that, fat face and gap, as suggested above, could be trendier versions of what she already wears, but tbh, jeans and tshirt are entirely appropriate clothes for any age, and especially 10 year olds