Q&A about baby-led weaning with Mumsnetter Aitch - ANSWERS BACK

[LucilleMumsnet]

This week we're running a Q&A about baby-led weaning with Aitch. Aitch is a Mumsnetter (although perhaps no longer posting by that name ) who writes and runs Babyledweaning.com. The website began as a blog about weaning her baby girl, who is now an astonishing 8 years old (and her favourite veg? Still broccoli. Aitch's least favourite veg? Still broccoli). She also writes the Round Up every week.

Aitch emphatically is not a BLW 'guru', but she has done it twice and with a website that gets over a million and a half hits per year, and forum and Facebook communities of over 66,000 people, she really has seen a lot of little babies grow their appetites. She is more than happy to help anyone out if she can. (She also wrote this, obvs)

Post your questions to Aitch before 10am on Monday 30 June and we'll post up her answers the following Monday 7 July.

We now have the answers back from Aitch and will be posting them up shortly.

@FrankelandFilly

Marking my spot as PFB is 3.5 months old so I need to start vaguely thinking about weaning and how I'm going to go about it. At the moment I'm leaning towards a mixed (purée and BLW) approach. Are there any pros/cons to this?

Hi FrankelandFillly, I think with all of these questions, it just depends how you look at it and what you are most comfortable with as a family. Technically of course, a mix of puree and finger food is really just traditional weaning, and no doubt what your own parent did with you (certainly what mine did with me). BLW is a little bit different, it is letting the child control their food by themselves - no need for a parent to do anything much other than to present the food and take delighted photos.

I liked that, I must say. It felt like my two weren't subject to the conditioning that I'd had when I was growing up, all that 'clear your plate, just a bit more, Mummy will say when you're finished' kind of thing.

For me, a big part of the attraction of BLW was that I would be trusting them to know when they were full, and to stop eating.

There is also the thought that if they're self-feeding solid foods, they seem to learn to chew and spit first, often quite a bit before swallowing. Drinking/slurping/swallowing puree is something they can do already, because they've already cracked that with milk. So I've seen people say that they didn't want to get those two skills mixed up in the beginning, and would prefer the babies can chew first, before moving on to swallowing.

@sleepyhead

Spoons featured in weaning with both ds1&2, but I did introduce finger food from day 1 and they got on really well with it. I don't think it would have occurred to me if I hadn't read about BLW on here, so thank you.

What's your advice for people who worry about choking when feeding non-pureed food to small children? I got a lot of comments about this, and dh was really unsure to start with. My understanding is that choking is silent and that the noisy gagging that you occasionally get to start with isn't something to be worried about but obviously it can look really alarming and off putting.

Hi sleepyhead,
You're fantastically welcome, thanks. I know I've just said to Filly upthread that the whole spoons things isn't technically BLW but I must stress it's not something I personally care about… who has the energy? So if hearing about BLW babies makes people more confident about letting their otherwise puree-fed babes have finger food with a bit less anxiety than they might otherwise have done, I think that's great.

Re choking, I think that showing concern about choking is absolutely the most sensible way to be, and what's great about BLW is that making the conscious decision to introduce solid foods in this way absolutely forces us to stop and think about what we would be able to do in the event of a choke. In my case, when my baby was around five months old I realised I'd be useless if she choked (on anything, remember, a toy, a stone, something off the oft-manky floor) because I had simply never thought about it. So I went on an infant resus course, which if I had my way I'd make mandatory for all parents… so I guess that's my advice to parents who are worried about choking… educate yourself about it. Regardless of what weaning you end up doing it will not be time wasted. And obviously don't give them round things unless cut up, avoid hard, breaky-uppy food like apple unless cooked and let them concentrate on their eating so they're not distracted from the work they're doing. perhaps not correct medical term.

@flingingmelon

BLW going fine but any tips on the smoothest way to introduce cutlery. At the moment there's lots of frustration and upset. Is patience the only way?

We just kept it floating around, and both of mine were pretty adept by 13 months or so. I'll tell you what did drive them crackers, though, was plastic baby cutlery. Metal forks with proper tines were the way ahead, we found. Think we got a good babyish-sized set out of the pound shop, oh the glamour.

@cogitosum

My son is 11 months. He's always eaten really well ( I did blw from start). He's recently gone off vegetables. He used to eat loads of broccoli, asparagus, sweet potato etc but the last couple of weeks it's all about the starchy carbs, fruit and meat & cheese. Is it ok to just go with it and trust his self-regulation? (Obviously still offer loads)

First of all, let me once again state my lack of book-learning on this subject (and many more besides). Most of what I understand about BLW is from my own two or from what I've seen on Babyledweaning.com. However it does seem like there is a stage that a lot of babies go through where they seriously dial back on their variety, which I've variously seen explained as to do with teething, to do with the increased independence of learning to walk and the dangers that might lurk outside the cave door in terms of delicious-looking berries etc. Who knows why they do it, but they seem to. I like that Michael Pollan line where he says "Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognise as food," and while it's not strictly relevant to variety I know that she would also not have had the cornucopia of choice that we have now. So when my second daughter went through a stage of only liking sweetcorn and carrots and That Was It For Veg, I figured it was probably twice what Great Grandma was able to access and left her to it. She's back on the ratatouille now.

@Wincher

My 9 month old has taken to blw like a duck to water (tried it with my first baby but he liked being spoonfed too). My concern is salt. Everything seems far too salty and I permanently feel a bit guilty. Foods which my 3 year old likes, so therefore get given to the baby, include bread, cheese, pasta with pesto, hummus, baked beans etc. Occasionally I do make my own bread or hummus (though my MIL laughed incredulously and said no one else had ever considered making their own salt free bread) but life is usually a bit too short. Any tips?

Wincher, old chum, if you managed to make an edible salt-free bread, I'm the one asking you for tips. Was it nice? I never cracked it, I'm afraid. I did make oatcakes, though, without salt, and they tasted awful to me but the nipper loved them. For me, I didn't stress about the salt thing too much, I just kept an eye on it. We stopped using salt in cooking (still don't, years later) and when it came to processed food and bread etc I just made sure that the baby wasn't having two meals in a row like that, as well as keeping in mind that what was relevant was how much she was actually consuming. So for example, pesto has salt, but how much has been ingested etc? (PS I also cut pesto with cream, chopped up tomatoes or more olive oil for my two. They ate pesto A Lot.)

@Poosnu

Do babies really get enough to eat using this method?

Also what is the best way to serve protein to her? I'm worried about her iron levels (still bf and no formula).

My 8mo dd refuses to be spoon bed, so BLW is our only option. She doesn't seem to eat much though. My DD1 loved spoon feeding and ate loads by this age, so I'm a bit concerned. The only sort of protein DD2 has eaten so far is cheese and strips of omelette.

Most do seem to, Poosnu, but in any case if she refuses spoon feeding then it's out of your hands. I can understand that might feel daunting if you had such a good experience with DD!, but there are some advantages and you might yet get to spoon feed her (my DD2 loved being spoon fed when she was ill, she used to ask 'feed me like a little baby' and it was kinda nice, I admit, being so needed. But enough about me…)

Protein-wise, ours LOVED steak. Some people cut them into long strips, but I found that made my kids gag in the beginning (same with sausages for us, but others are fine). My mother loves liver (bleuuurgh) so I know that she would make that, and we casserole meat a lot, which was perfect as it was a nice size but still fell apart easily. Omelettes are good too, as you say, as is quiche and we eat a chickpea, peppers and chicken thigh stew here quite a lot which was great when their pincer grip came in. And beyond that, if you're really worried about iron, I'd say for your own peace of mind give her some iron (check with doc, obvs). We had it for DD2, who was given it because she was prem. Tastes like liquid Marmite. She spat out infinitely more of it than she took, but it made me feel like I was doing something.

@Solasum

How do I persuade the nursery that DS much prefers what they call 'toddler food', ie fist sized bits of stuff, and that he is able to manage to feed himself? (Was a bit disheartened tiday when I picked him up to see a group of one year olds being fed puree in turn by spoon (different ones, obviously!) with no attempt to get them to feed themselves)

I think you really have to speak to the manager, with your kid on your lap eating a sarnie and waving a copy of Gill Rapley's book. Some nurseries get it, some don't. I'd have thought that anything that makes life easier and entertains the children would be a good thing, but I guess I can understand that a lot of people think they've got a system that works… why change it? I've always thought it's probably not worth falling out over, though, if you think the care is good otherwise. Your child will just enjoy mealtimes at home more.

@Solasum

Also, is there anything you really shouldn't give ay the 6mo stage? Excluding unpasteurised and mouldy cheese etc. He helped himself to jammie dodgers I am working on the all and any food is good at the moment.

Lol, it's just the same list as for other methods, but with particular attention to what might constitute a choke hazard. Like I say, apples, nuts and other hard foods, grapes, toms and other round foods. Discs of food, like a disc of cold sausage-type thing (bleurk) are also to be avoided as well.

@Solasum

When is it ok to introduce spicy foods and what? And how spicy?

I just cooled our not-hugely hot food down with yoghurt and used a lot more cumin, cinnamon, clove, coriander etc and it was fine for my two BUT a Pakistani pal laughed at me for being a typical curry-obsessed Jocko and said her kids weren't allowed anything spicy until about a year. She was breastfeeding the whole time, so go figure. It's up to you and the baby, I guess.

@Solasum

What would be your top suggestions for superquick to assemble nursery - friendly self-feeding foods? So far I have sent in melon, banana, toast strips and various rusk type things.

Oatcakes, sticks of cheese, muffins (sweet and savoury), toasted pita breads with cheese (what I laughingly call a recipe is on the site), sarnies with hummus, breadsticks, Spanish omelette, bits of roast chicken, pasta salad… can you tell I asked the gang on Facebook?

@Solasum

DS only likes pasta with sauce. What is the best holdable shape to minimise the orange baby effect?

Twists or bows, twists or bows. Some people say penne but my ridiculous children used to post penne into their mouths and the pasta would just SPROINNNGG back out.

@browneyesblue

Aitch - you helped me through my BLW collywobbles with DS1. I definitely owe you one for your fantastic advice in relation to food refusal, gagging, etc. DS1 is now 4, and a great time was had by all during the weaning process. I can (almost) take him anywhere to eat

Anyway, DS2 - he is a different kettle of fish. He is 11 months; a lovely big squidge of a baby. Huge at birth, still big and very determined now. We started weaning him at 6 months, and within a month he really seemed to have an idea that food = full tummy. He is very definite about what he will and won't try, which I can handle (and am more relaxed about), but what is giving me heart-stopping moments is that he wants a fork, just like DS1.

Sometimes he eats beautifully with said fork (loaded, of course. He's a baby, not a genius!), but often he smashes the damn thing aound, while screeching with glee, before eating whatever is on it. I am living in fear of him stabbing himself in the eye - he does not want to give it up though. Any calming words of advice?

C'mon, he's your second child… how many eyes does he actually need? I was ASTONISHED at how different my two were, btw. Had not bargained for that At All. Have you seen the plastic cutlery from Ikea, it's not bad, pretty sharp for actual picking things up but you might feel it's less likely to cause injury.

@WaitingForMyMam

So glad to see this Q&A.

Aitch, we are really struggling with weaning.

DD1 took to BLW like a duck to water, pretty much bang on six months.

DD2 is seven months today. Her motor skills aren't as developed as DD1's were and she can't feed herself at all and while she looks very interested when we eat she is not interested in feeding herself. She is only just now losing the tongue thrust impulse (or whatever it's called).

I'm getting LOTS of pressure from my pediatrician to get food into her as her weight has dropped off the chart. So I'm giving her a little bit of puree and some food (a tiny tiny amount) gets in but she isn't that bothered. I was under the understanding that food is for fun until one but my doctor emphatically disagrees.

We do live in a country where weaning happens at five months though (whether babies like it or not) so there are cultural differences and I do take my doctor's advice with a pinch of salt, but it's still frustrating.

Would you suggest waiting and continuing with just milk feeds until she's ready to BLW? Or persevere with the purees in this instance?

Whew, this is long! Thanks for reading.

You've got to live where you live, and deal with the family and by extension the doctor you have, I reckon. The whole 'food is fun' thing had gone a bit crazy as it's become meme-ified over the years. When I first heard it, it was at a trad weaning talk and I think it was just to encourage people to encourage their babies to enjoy food and not get stressed. I think the addition of the 'for' twists that meaning into sounding like food's not important… I'm not sure where it came from and it's not an expression I use, just because, well, it's not what the WHO says as far as I'm aware. Food is important, those extra vits are needed. Not bang at 6 months, right enough, but I think that if my babies had been refusing BLW-type food altogether after a couple of months, I would have investigated purees, spoon feeding or whatever other choices were available to us. Everything in moderation, including weaning methods.

So to answer your question, I'd persevere with the puree if I were you, to keep everyone around you happy and not set you at odds with the doctor. It's not going to do any harm, is it? You're already in the BLW-ish head space, so it's not like you're going to suddenly start doing aeroplanes and choo-choos and putting undue pressure on yourself and the baby. And make the mash count, add cream, look into nut butters for extra calories, avocado by the bucketload, you know the sort of thing.

@YouMakeMeHappy

Hello, my third child is six months, I've been offering him finger food for the past few weeks. He is breastfed, but I'm worried he isn't swallowing much at all, save a few mouthfuls as his poos are still bright yellow and sweet smelling.

When should I give up and start some spoon feeding? Thank you, I'll check out your website

Hi YouMakeMeHappy, you should honestly give up when YOU are comfortable. There's no BLW police, you need to be happy with your choices. Like I said above, I reckon I'd have waited a couple of months, though. And I'd have tried a bit of lap feeding or picnics before, just to check that they didn't hate the highchair. Oh, and I'd eat together, that helps a lot. I even know someone who drafted in some cousins for peer pressure, and it did the trick.

@scandichick

Just started BLW and finding it brilliant so far. Only niggle is my otherwise lovely MIL who apparently is concerned that we won't be able to bring our child to restaurants because of the mess (or so DH aka the shit-stirrer tells me).

Any tips?

Sure, be polite, ask for a brush to offer to sweep up (which they will NEVER give you) and leave a good tip. Must say, though, the staff in our local places are always delighted to see little babies eating and enjoying their food, it is apparently v. depressing removing and binning full plates from older, fussier kids. Plus, at 6 months food is dropped, not thrown, so it's not that hard to keep clean. We used to ask for sides of veg, unsalted, and that kicked off the conversation with waiters so they were always keen to watch. Maybe don't order the spaghetti unless you have a full change of clothes. (Yours and the baby's).

@Penano

Happy to have stumbled across this! DD is 7mths & is a food refuser. This is a total shock as DC1 loved the stuff from the word go. After a total food strike last week we're starting again. My questions are: How much does she actually need? How and when should I offer bf? Are there any good tips for breakfast foods? Are there any absolute no-nos in BLW, other than the standard guidelines re allergies, honey etc?

Sorry, probably way too many questions there, just answering one will be great! Will check out website too...
Thanks in advance

Hi Penano, I think I've answered some of your questions up thread but regarding breakfasts… YES, there is the Porridge Pancake, as devised by former MNer Hub2dee. He was actually a man, but we didn't hold it against him. It's just porridge oats and milk, microwaved until unpleasantly rubbery, but my kids LOVED them. We used to make them the night before and stick 'em in the fridge. Other than that, a quick omelette is great in the morning, also toast, fruit etc. If you have fruit purees floating around the freezer from the days before you thought of BLW, they're a great jam substitute.

@enormouse

I have a few questions.

For context.
DS1 - tried weaning him with purees at 5 months (did the whole AK thing). He wasn't having any of it and eventually moved to BLW by accident at 7 months and he really took to it and started eating properly at 10 months or so. Great eater now at 2.7.

DS2 - 5 months and started weaning him about 2 weeks ago. Used pouches as I couldn't be faffed with pureeing things. He has really taken to it but I want to BLW like I did with his brother. Can I go from smooth purees to finger foods? Is it likely he'll want to stick to.pouches? Will he be unsatisfied by the amount of food he gets via BLW in comparison to purees?

Thanks for getting to the end of my essay

You can give him more milk if he's unsatisfied, and anyway, heaps of people use the pouches for convenience, just like I grab a bowl of soup when I am in a hurry. Let your baby increase the finger foods and dial back the pouches (which will save you a fortune), keeping milk on tap for appetite. BLW is recommended from 6 months, remember, so he might take to the self-feeding a little earlier or he might not. Milk's definitely the main event until 1 anyway.

@yongnian

Hello...I've been reading about BLW with interst since DD2 came along 16 weeks ago....as weaning DD1 8 years ago the trad way was ok until 15 months when she grabbed the cutlery off me and has basically had a restricted diet ever since (now 8 and has dyspraxia and sensory issues which impact on food). Had a selective eating disorder myself til a teen (sensory and dyspraxia based and was force fed - yikes!) sorry, this is now a bit of a ramble but basically, where's the best place to start for BLW beginners info? I mean, am I literally lobbing her strips of family food from the off?? I sure won't miss the traditional method, and am really looking forward to trying this, for all the reasons above! From what I'm hearing of it, it would have been so much a better way for me and DD1 so keen to lose all the trad bits that didn't work for us. Thanks!

Come to my site, ahem… www.babyledweaning.com, there's a Getting Started post, and the forum and the Facebook page and there's some info about BLW on MN. I didn't lob, but I did start with steamed veggies and bits of fruit for a week or so and then when my confidence was up (it's all about meeeeee) I let them have more family food.

@FreeButtonBee

Any intermediate family cook books you recommend?

My DTs are 16 months and expert fork and spoon wielders but not that into big lumps of meat or salad or spicey things (which rules out 75% of what DH and I like to eat, partic in summer) and they eat at 5.15 and we generally don't eat until 8ish.

So I want some nice ideas for toddler friendly meals that we would enjoy too. Soemthign a bit out of the norm but easy to cook. Was thinking river cottage maybe? I have a million cookbooks but not sure they are quite up for Claudia Roden every week (although DTD would love all the seafood - there is nothing more disgusting than seeing a 12 month old eat a mussel)

I keep hearing good things about the River Cottage kids book, and I must say I use Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstone's Veg one a lot. Salty, though, so make that adjustment obvs. Nothing I like more than a cook book with lots of notes scribbled in the margins. The book I like best in the whole world is The Silver Spoon, though, which is basically just a big simple bible of Italian cooking. Very few notes in that one as all the recipes work.

@Mnippy

Another question about salt. We aren't supposed to put added salt into food. But isn't grating cheese into omelettes, eating hummus (as one poster has already said) and breadsticks basically adding salt? I'm finding it difficult to share food with baby because he usually has super pious steamed stuff which I can't stand.

Hi Mnippy, I know what you mean about the pious stuff, I remember making A Lot of salsa etc to perk up meats. From my reading of the NHS guidelines, it does look like they're saying to be aware of salt and stock cubes specifically, and to limit processed foods, so again I'd be aware of too many meals in a row that you're not making from absolute scratch. "Don't add salt to your baby's milk or food and don't use stock cubes or gravy as they're often high in salt. Remember this when you're cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby. Avoid giving your baby processed foods such as ready meals as these are often high in salt." You can make your own hummus, of course, although I could never quite whizz it smooth enough and returned to shop-bought as soon as possible.

@Echocave

This may be an unfair question as you say you are not an expert so feel free to ignore but do you agree with Gill Rapley's assertion that the gag reflex in babies is further forward than in adults (implying that they would cough food up before it gets too far down their throats)? (I think she says this in her BLW book). My extremely trustworthy and down to earth GP who herself has children says that this statement is incorrect and that the ENT specialists she knows are all very anti BLW because the risk of choking is too high.

I would love to do more BLW with dc2 (7 months) but am too scared!

I am absolutely not an expert, as you say, but I'm not sure it's just a Gill Rapley assertion. It is mentioned in this BLW research review, and referenced etc. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3509508/#B78-nutrients-04-01575.

"The place in the baby's mouth at which the gag reflex is triggered moves back during the first year [78] so that generally children can eat finger foods with little or no gagging at about 8–9 months [87]. It has been argued that this is one of the advantages of BLW in that the BLW infant learns to eat finger foods at a time when the gag reflex very effectively keeps large pieces of food well to the front of the mouth, only allowing well masticated food to reach the back of the mouth for swallowing [7,8]."

Of course I wouldn't personally be in any position to dismiss what an ENT specialist says, but I mention the paper out of interest.

@Quodlibet

Serious question here Aitch: we have a very very enthusiastic 6m eater here who is up for trying pretty much everything, and has quickly got the hang of feeding herself eg cucumber sticks, spaghetti, scrambled egg, butternut squash lumps in the few weeks we've been weaning her. I've been taking a pretty BLW approach, along with passing her loaded spoons of eg yogurt which she likes to feed herself with.

Anyway, my question is - we've had a couple of alarming incidents - one where DD has, after a meal, had something unnoticed stashed in her high palate which has fallen into her mouth and choked her during a nappy change some time afterwards (required a slap to the back to bring it up). Since then we've been a bit paranoid about hard chunks, and peering into her mouth as she does frequently seem to get things stuck in her palate (which is unusually high according to breastfeeding expert). I've reverted to softer foods plus very high vigilance. It seems a bit like her enthusiasm for putting things and ability at getting things into her mouth isn't quite matched by her ability to manage to clear her mouth, so I am nervous about what food I can safely feed her. Any wisdom?

Oh that doesn't sound at all like fun, no wonder you're wanting to be very cautious. This isn't something I personally had experience of, but I've seen people on my site recommend a good drink of water after food, combined with some tooth/gum brushing and surreptitious palate-checking. I had a funny little silicone finger toothbrush thing that my first daughter liked to chew on when was 'brushing' her mouth, I wonder if something like that might be useful, to give you an excuse for a check. And as much encouragement to chew rather than crush food against her palate, maybe? I know that there was an MNer who used to do very exaggerated chewing faces whenever she thought her child was going to gag, and she said it really seemed to help her babies to catch on.

@quietbatperson

An actual question! I've done all this twice before but I'm blaming the extreme sleep deprivation I encountered with DS2 for having wiped most of weaning from my memory, and DS3 has started weaning in the last month so this is a well timed Q&A.

I'm worried about introducing hard foods like apple. The foods ds3 has had so far have been softish and/or are things he can mush down in his mouth, like toast, breadsticks, mango, broccoli, green beans, rigatoni etc, or he has had a bowl of softish food (like bolognaise sauce) that we've preloaded on to spoons. But apple worries me a bit, as do small things like cut up grapes. He's only 6.5 months so we've only really just got started, but I'm not sure when to hand these things over.

BTW there is a certain satisfaction in seeing a small baby savaging a piece of broccoli that I just love, and you just don't get with purée feeding.

Ha! Not to mention the hosing down of the post-broccoli highchair…. Apple is a total pain in the backside, imho. It's hard and breaky and best avoided unless cooked (in micro, only takes a mo) or until they have some front teeth and can scrape away at the whole round apple once you've taken a starter bite out of it. Apple's the only thing my first ever even remotely choked on. And I cut up grapes for mine until they were pretty much at school. I'm not an anxious person by nature but grapes are just SO human throat-shaped, I wouldn't take the risk. Plus I taught them that the correct way to eat an uncut grape is to bite into it first to half it. Sounds like he's going great guns at a month in, quietbatperson.

@TheBeanpole

Hello, glad to see this!

We are doing BLW with DD1, who is 6.5 months and have been going for a couple of weeks now. She's doing ok, and is definitely getting some in as it's coming out the other end, and can manage a yoghurty spoon too. However, she is showing a marked preference for beige foods (much like her dad). I think she would eat toast all day. She is offered plenty of fruit and veg but largely ignores it. Unless it's humus or banana.

I'm fretting a bit about vitamins, especially as we are largely vegetarian at home. Is this just a developmental thing, in that she's eating the things she finds easiest (although we are doing the crinkle-cutting, veg-with-a-handle malarkey) and will get there, or do we need to gently encourage her in the ways of the vegetable?

As I said above, I do sometimes think the variety thing is a bit over-stated (non-medical, though… I'm not fighting any specialists who rock up). I mean, if they're eating a few veg and fruits in enough quantities it did seem to me that they wouldn't develop scurvy. I'd get more interesting with the veg, I think. For some babies, two weeks is all they need to crack the weaning thing, thanks very much, and they want to get on with more interesting shapes to hold, more challenging bits and bobs. And her pincer grip will show up soon enough, which can result in hundreds of peas going down. I remember we thought that DD2 wasn't a fan of veg because she didn't fancy the ones I had been feeding her sister, but it turned out I'd just bored her and she was waiting to be introduced to the delights of ratatouille. (Which her sister, to this day, is revolted by). So keep offering, yes, but maybe move on from sticks now?

@TheBeanpole

Also, if I may, a second question?

How important do you think the all eating together thing is? We can manage it at breakfast and lunch but largely cannot get it together to have grown-ups eat at 6 ish. I go back to work in 7 weeks, and DP takes over, and I will be unlikely to even be home at that time.

Thank you!

No worries, you're welcome. It's nice, eating together, and you're doing it, so that's great. I'd say that most families would consider 2 out of 3 to be a great strike rate, and there will presumably be weekends as well.

Don't worry about any of it, would be my top advice. It's just food. If you cook it, they will come. (Eventually).

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Thanks Aitch.

YES re the bloomin' grapes, I saw it. About a year too late. And thank you for your kind comments.