Share with Endsleigh Insurance your tips, experiences and thoughts about sending DCs off to uni - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[EmmaMumsnet]

Going to university from home is a rite of passage that many young people go through. However, the practicality and emotion attached to DCs ‘leaving the nest’ can create scary and unexpected experiences for both parents and children; from the difficulty of fitting everything into the car (yes, bean bags and fairy light are essential!), to ‘empty nest syndrome’, and keeping in touch (whether that’s through occasional texts from DC to inform you they are still alive or via skype).

It can also be a very liberating experience for both parents and young people, especially after the stress of A Levels and concerns about getting a place.

Here’s what Endsleigh have to say: “We’re proud to remain the only insurance provider recommended by the NUS. Our range of policies insures what's important to students, from gadgets and contents to bikes and musical instruments, starting at university and into your professional life - hopefully taking away that particular concern. We'd love to hear how parents help their young people make this significant step"

Endsleigh Insurance, who specialise in insurance for students, want to hear your stories of dropping your DCs off at uni and your tips for how to not only survive but make the best of it. Whether your DC is already at university or is set to leave the nest this September, share your thoughts, concerns and top tips. Did your DCs ask you any amusing questions about living independently? What unexpected perks have you found from your DC moving out? How well do they or do you think they deal with cooking and washing for themselves? What was on the essential packing list? How did you deal with the emotion and how long did it take for you to stop laying the extra plate at the dinner table?

Please tell us about your experiences and tips you have for others below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher from a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks & good luck!

MNHQ

Standard T&Cs apply

[Rigbyroo]

Trying desperately to start putting money aside now, dcs are 2 and 4. Realistically though we probably won't be able to save for another 5 years but after seeing my parents really struggle I don't want to be in that boat. However, it did make me realise the value of money and work for myself because I had no other source of income. I would like to support but not too much!

[asuwere]

When I went to uni, there was a payphone in the halls and no one had mobile phones so we didn't keep in touch much. My parents must've enjoyed the empty nest though as when I came back after the first term, the rooms had been rearranged, they had taken over my room what was older sisters room was their dressing room! I was in the spare room downstairs - definitely made it clear I should remain independent! :)

Now, I think its so much easier to keep in touch so won't be such a scary thing. But, I'm definitely teaching my DC to be independent whether they go to uni or not- at least be able to do their own washing, cook a few meals and know how to budget.

[WowOoo]

Mine are not at university but I plan on teaching them the basics so that they will be able to cope with bills, washing and cooking a selection of meals.

For now, it's to save what I can, when I can. I am dreading the cost of it.

[JoffreyBaratheon]

My three oldest sons have all been to uni (one is still there).

In their final year at college/6th Form, get a big box. Start to fill it with 'Useful Things' - pans, cutlery, crockery, kettle, iron, tin openers, etc. It's much easier on the purse doing this over an extended period of time and they enjoy adding to 'The Box', too. I have had to do this three times over, so after Son 1, ran out of spare pans etc. Car boots are a great source of household things at good prices.

Teach them to cook. Get them to tell you what they want to eat, and think of things that are cheap to cook from scratch. Also teach them how to shop - which may sound obvious, but it isn't. Markets for fruit and veg - the cheaper supermarkets for basics.

Better still, teach them to bake. A student who can make cakes and bread from scratch for their friends is going to have lots of friends! My kids will Skype me or email for recipes, sometimes.

Hit the Pound shops for the first term's supply of soap, shampoo, toothpaste, etc. (And I do this every time they come home, too). This helps their loan/grant go further.

In terms of insurance, I sat down with all of mine and made sure they budgeted for it - laptops, bikes, etc all covered as we could never have afforded to replace anything stolen. At one point, two of my sons lived on the 'Most Burgled Street in Europe' - be aware that once they are in the 2nd year and out of halls, it will be more of a risk.

[gazzalw]

Our eldest isn't too many years off going to Uni but we're already in a panic.

Think that for young people to get the most out of the experience they need to be away from helicopter parents, so from that perspective we would be encouraging DC1 to aim further afield than 'local' unis, albeit the more expensive option.

They need to have experience of managing their money and being able to cope with cooking/washing clothes and all the 'boring but necessary' housekeeping activities that many will have managed to get out of doing at home.

So yes to showing them that money goes a lot further if you buy in Poundland or buy 'own brand' products in the supermarket.

I am horrified at the stark difference between being a student in the 1980s and now though. Yes we had grants (and if you lived somewhere expensive such as London or Oxford/Cambridge could quite feasibly and legitimately claim housing benefit too) but we generally lived like paupers. All this having state of the art technology, going out for meals all the time etc...doesn't fit with learning how to cope in the real world as far as I can tell. Entitlement doesn't even begin to describe it.

Would also advise them to get a part-time job to help give them an appreciation of money and to get them into good habits for post-Uni life. There is plenty of time to fit in socialising, part-time work and a good amount of studying too!

Teach them above all to value and look after their possessions. Most teens (particularly boys) seem to think that they don't need to do so because the 'bank of mum and dad' will just replace what is lost/damaged. They've got to learn the value of what they own!

Not sure that many students had insurance 'in our day' - very few had stuff worth stealing, even the affluent ones. I guess having insurance is all part of the ^ lesson about valuing possessions though (although it is yet another expense).

[Sgtmajormummy]

Start them budgeting at least a year beforehand with a detailed account of what they EXPECT to spend vs how much they DID spend.

The Summer before they go, give them a month of "independent living" where they have to cook, clean and shop for themselves on a fixed budget. Then if things go wrong you're around to give advice.

An in-case-of-emergencies package of paracetomol, spare shampoo, toilet roll and toothpaste, pot noodles and condoms (oh yes, you want them to be safe) is a nice "good luck" gesture.

[IpreferToblerone]

Lots of great tips here thanks all! My first one due to go off this year. Mine would be budgeting and learning about laundry and meals. Starting to save in their early years, this education lark will not be cheap.

[DRT]

EVERYTHING labelled using either those school name labels that won't be any use to you again or nail varnish (survives being washed up) we packed the car like a jigsaw up to the gunnels and left the south coast for the trek up to Liverpool Uni. Having stopped at a service station to break the journey and for food we set off for the last leg of the long journey and DS1 blurts "You won't get out of the car, will you?" After promising to put a bag over my head and noticing other parents were allowed to help unload I was nevertheless urged to leave very quickly swallowing back the tears that were welling. It got easier with DS2 and like a flash in the pan I'm out buying Graduation glad rags. Now when DD goes this autumn it might be a different story.. Useful items: food bag clips that they can put name on, laundry bags with handles as the laundry room is not always close by, combination padlock box for important stuff as everything gets buried and rooms are a free for all. My experience - they didn't change at all and still treat home and each other as they always have done, when they do come home which gets less and less. Home is home and you don't have to grow up here it seems.

[Carriemac]

Set up a family group chat or what's app so siblings as well as parents can keep in touch. Day to day news and trivia helps with the homesickness and missing the one who's gone. Skype is essential too.

[TheFairyCaravan]

Buy towels and bedding in the same, dark, colour so they can all be shoved in the washing machine together.

Buy a decent mattress topper, and two mattress protectors. One to put between the mattress and topper and one on top. The mattresses are terrible ime.

Start buying toiletries etc after the Christmas in the Yr12.

Aldi have an event just after the A2 results for pans, knives, cooking equipment.

Make a first aid kit for them, include plenty of painkillers and rehydration sachets for Freshers.

Look at the accomodation charges before you confirm, or maybe applying. There's no point choosing it if you can't afford it.

Tell them not to worry where their friends are going because even if their mate got to the same uni once they get their it's unlikely they'll be in the same halls and they won't see each other that much anyway.

Insure their stuff with Endsleigh when you get their keys, if they're there, because when their bike is stolen from outside halls 6 weeks later it's a massive weight off your mind!

[ButterflyOfFreedom]

I agree with a previous poster - start saving as soon as they are born, you'll need to!!

[NancyWray17]

My eldest is due to leave for Uni this September and it has seemed like a massive black cloud on the horizon. Recently, I have taken the conscious decision to be much more positive about this situation and here is why:

1. It means that we managed to raise her to be an independent, self-reliant adult who feels capable of fleeing the nest.
2. Her younger siblings will appreciate her more when she is here and may give her first dibs at the remote control.
3. I get to use my car when I want to instead of having to check if she's using it.
4. There will be less of a crush for the bathroom in the mornings.
5. She can buy me stuff with her student discount card!

[Maddaddam]

Make them really independent in terms of budgeting, cooking, cleaning, laundry, using public transport etc. Life is cheaper if you're competent in those areas.
Send them to uni with a bike.
Encourage them to find holiday jobs that will fit with student life.

[Virginiaplain1]

Buy a couple of doorstops/wedges so that your son/daughter can prop open their bedroom door and keep 'open house' in the first few days and get to know the people they are sharing with (although do impress upon them the importance of shutting the door when they are not in the room or when they are asleep!). A supply of cake to share with flat mates is also good.
Those big blue IKEA bags are excellent for transporting bedding, towels etc and also make good laundry bags.
And - sorry Endsleigh - check if your household insurance covers your child's belongings at university!

[Emptynestx2]

Our son has just finished first year and daughter has graduated. One of the main points I would make is to keep their expectations realistic in the first few weeks. My son especially found the first few weeks harder than he'd thought and although he mixed with lots of people, he didn't immediately make friends for life! He was very happy and settled after the first month. Doorstops and extension leads are essential.

[scaryteacher]

Don't use Endsleigh, their cover isn't worth it, and many things just aren't covered. I found a far better policy that would cover phones, laptops etc.

[goingmadinthecountry]

Don't panic - they're ready for independence!

Don't let them start a course unless they're absolutely sure it's right. Re-takes are better than a compromise! Don't let them keep quiet if they're really unhappy though.

I'm not a fan of living at home for university, though I know it can be much cheaper. There's far more to university life.

Don't take too much stuff - but make sure you have fancy dress clothes packed.

Check size of bed in accommodation for bedding - many have 4 ft beds (Dunelm for bedding). Ditto space under bed - many are built in so no space for under bed boxes. Take neutral bedding - many student halls have weird coloured walls. Black/white from IKEA worked well for dd2 when she ended up with a lime feature wall!

shared shower? Cheap flip flops.

[Lovewhereilive]

My heart tells me to persuade my 3 DS to go to a uni near home but my head tells me they need to go wherever is best for them. It will probably break my heart but you have to set them free and keeping in touch is much easier than it was when I was at uni.

[Peppassista]

Encourage them to hold off before buying all of the books on their reading lists! Sometimes only one chapter is relevant. Get them to use the library
A LOT. Shop for latest edition 2nd hand text books online.

[onadifferentplanet]

Encourage them to join the FB group for their course, Ds found it really helped to know people before he started and recognise a few friendly faces to sit with in the first lectures and seminars .

[Hopezibah]

Learning to cook is such an important life skill but one that not many students have. Just learn some basics and it will make a world of difference. Teach your child to learn to bake a cake and your kid will be treated like a superhero at uni! For parents it will give them peace of mind knowing that their son / daughter can cook if they need to.

[flamingtoaster]

Make sure they can cook a range of simple (one pot) meals. If they have food allergies (DS had) then make sure they take their own toaster, etc. to avoid cross-contamination problems. It is also possible in some universities to get permission to have a fridge in their room - again to avoid cross-contamination of e.g. spread if you are allergic to gluten and someone puts a knife with crumbs in as they have run out of it.

Start shopping for what they will need to take with them well ahead to avoid panics and to take advantage of sales. Give them a supply of tissues, toilet paper, shampoo, shower gel etc. with them. Towels and sheets all the same colour so they can be washed together. Explain all the basics about washing temperatures etc. If they are self-catering give them a full week's worth of basic supplies with them to start them off while they are finding their feet, give them a large supply of biscuits/tea/coffee so they can share with people on their corridor from day one.

DD did University from home and had an absolute ball. She found it helpful to be able to get away from the campus when she needed to - and stayed on campus with friends if there was a very late night event. Doing University from home doesn't suit everyone but it certainly suited DD.

Expect the unexpected. DS went to Cambridge and was doing Natural Sciences. This didn't stop me seeing the message "Are you there" scrolling across the computer screen (he had arranged it so that he could fix our computer remotely if we needed him to). I replied, "Yes," and immediately the message, "How do you get burnt on rice off a saucepan?" appeared. Well at least I knew he was cooking!

[Snog]

I'm training my 16 year old to cook once a week and telling her that being able to cook makes you popular!
Also getting her used to doing stuff for herself eg getting her bike fixed, making doctors appointments, basically if she CAN do it herself then I encourage her to.

She is preparing me by being a PITA and moody so I will find it far easier when she goes than if she was lovely to have around all the time

[Ratbagratty]

Join a random club, even if you may not know what it is about but you will meet all kinds of new people and maybe get a new hobby!

Also plastic crates are great, can be used to take stuff to and from uni in cars, but can also be used for storage under beds, in wardrobe while there.