My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

SN teens and young adults

UK school or stay where i am? 15yo DS Autism ADHD

17 replies

unexpectedalliances · 15/01/2024 07:29

DS (15, Autism, ADHD) is doing ok in school here (not UK). He has a helper (shared between 2 kids) at a mainstream school and is passing his subjects and enjoying school. It’s fee-paying but the helper is government funded. His issues are mainly behavioural and he is challenged when he doesn’t understand something being said (slow processing speed and accents are an issue). He will ‘act up’ during the lesson rather than show that he doesn’t understand the work.

I have just split from my partner (his dad). I don’t love where we are but i am concerned that returning to the UK may mean that DS will not get the help he needs. He was diagnosed here (Europe). I can hopefully afford to send him to a fee paying school but I’m not sure this is the best or that he’ll be accepted given his age and SN. Can anyone give advice/thoughts on whether they would move to the UK (and maybe school suggestions?), or whether they would stay here. I don’t know how quickly we could get into ‘the system’ and have the right support. I have 2 other kids so cannot focus entirely on him.

any thoughts much appreciated.

OP posts:
Report
iwanttoscream · 15/01/2024 18:03

If ds turns 16 by August 24 it would mean he'd be Yr 11 gcse year here.
If you came back now it would take 6 months minimum to get ehcp, has ds got an European equivalent??
Would he cope with change now??
Would he have the ability to do A levels??
Age of your other 2 children??

Report
KeepGoingThomas · 15/01/2024 19:52

Where in the UK would you potentially be moving to? Each country that makes up the UK has its own school and SEN system.

Report
unexpectedalliances · 16/01/2024 04:03

I have the ability to move anywhere but I'd prefer somewhere that travel to London for a day trip wouldn't be a hassle. I'd rather live in central London but I think finances won't allow that

OP posts:
Report
unexpectedalliances · 16/01/2024 04:12

He will be year 11. Other kids are 8, 11. I'm not sure what ehop is specifically but we wouldn't move until end of this school year (July) so would be starting on the back foot if we can't start the process before arriving.

He's not brilliant with change but salaries here are appalling so there'll be major changes required probably if I stay here and get a job as compared to a job in the uk

OP posts:
Report
unexpectedalliances · 16/01/2024 04:17

And yes, I think he can probably do a levels but I'm not certain. So far he's coasting but once he has to put in effort he may just refuse and fail

OP posts:
Report
KeepGoingThomas · 16/01/2024 13:30

If you will be potentially moving to England DS will need an EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) if he needs 1:1 or 1:2 support. An EHCP is a legal document that sets out a child’s needs and the support they require. You won’t be able to apply for an EHCNA (the needs assessment which is the first stage) until DS is actually resident in the local authority (LA) you will be living in. The process has a legal timescale of 20 weeks. However, many have to appeal, some more than once, and this takes a long time so there is no guarantee an EHCP will be in place quickly.

If DS is currently Y11 you should look at some sixth forms and speak to them. Not all are the same or offer the same courses. You will need to know what qualifications they will accept DS onto without GCSEs. Or if you mean DS will be Y11 in Sept 2024, that will be challenging for him because schools will be part way through GCSEs. 

Your other problem is your 11y/o. If they have turned 11 since 1st September 2023 they will be in Y7 from September 2024. Y7 is the start of secondary school and not moving until the summer will mean a very late secondary school application and little choice of school.

Report
unexpectedalliances · 17/01/2024 09:24

Thank you @KeepGoingThomas . That's really helpful advice. And has given me some good details to mull over.

OP posts:
Report
azteccandle · 19/01/2024 13:17

We started the EHCP process in October 2022. Draft issued in July 2023 but we are still in the process of revising it and will almost certainly have to appeal. This is with the full support of the school senco and for a child that has been out of any form of education for 12 months.
Many people opt to home educate instead - the obvious downside is that you are entirely on your own financially - but for 12 months to secure the GCSEs required to get into sixth form it is an option we have looked at.
There are thriving home ed communities and a range of online schools across the UK and it is possible to pursue an EHCP application in parallel with home education in order to secure support for college or sixth form.

Report
KeepGoingThomas · 19/01/2024 13:22

If a draft EHCP was issued in July 2023 it should have been finalised by now (and unless you have to appeal, a draft should have been issued before July if you requested an EHCNA in Oct 2022). Email the Director of Children’s Services reminding them of the statutory timescales, informing them they have breached the deadline and threatening judicial review. If that doesn’t work contact SOSSEN for help with a pre-action letter.

Separately to the EHCP process, if DC is compulsory school age the LA has a statutory duty to ensure they receive a suitable, full-time education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996. Email the Director of Children’s Services about this too. If they refuse, delay or ignore you, email again threatening JR. Then contact SOSSEN if that doesn’t work.

Report
unexpectedalliances · 19/01/2024 13:33

DS was home educated for a while but the lack of social interactions was an issue - I'm thinking more and more that staying here for a period is best

OP posts:
Report
unexpectedalliances · 19/01/2024 13:34

At least until end of gcse years and maybe move then

OP posts:
Report
azteccandle · 19/01/2024 18:14

@KeepGoingThomas Yep - all done. In fact, the school is talking directly to the Director of Children's Services regarding multiple cases.
Result = 2023 draft reissued unchanged as a "final" EHCP despite lengthy edits submitted at the time and a subsequent co-production meeting involving case worker (no longer working there) and senco. No record of either in the system.
There is more but that would be potentially outing.
The whole system is a disgrace and (coming back to the OPs question), if you have something that works then don't give it up easily. We have family overseas and have seriously considered moving just to be able to access the support we need.

Report
KeepGoingThomas · 19/01/2024 18:49

@azteccandle if you have a finalised EHCP just appeal. It is pointless going back and forth negotiating it rarely works and wastes time.

Report
getafix55 · 29/01/2024 16:36

Avoid UK like the plague.

No proper support, bullying rampart at both state and independent schools.

Most private schools pay lip service to SEND, then you deal with the fall out.

Report
StormySam · 02/02/2024 06:15

Stay where you are until DS leaves school. Mine has 1 to 1 listed on his EHCP and nor one school was prepared to provide it - unless your child goes to a special school where they don't get the same GCSE options and certainly not A Levels.
I am trying to find my bright Autistic child somewhere to go post 16 and there is absolutely nothing here for those that need a lot of support. He's been offered online learning rather than 1 to 1. It's a crazy situation.

Report
KeepGoingThomas · 02/02/2024 09:22

If 1:1 is detailed, specified and quantified in F it must be provided and can be enforced. Needing 1:1 is not a lawful reason for the LA to refuse to name your preference - unless the settings are wholly independent they can be named even if they object.

There are special schools who offer A levels.

Report
unexpectedalliances · 09/02/2024 07:48

Thanks all - I really appreciate hearing your experiences.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.