OK, let's have all your excuses/comments from SS and similar

[MannyMoeAndJack]

This is my second attempt at this thread - this time with a title.

Slightly droll this - but let's share the reasons for why we or our disabled dc have been refused help from SS or similar plus some of the least helpful/most banal comments that such agencies have told you:

I'll go first (I have many!):

'Your ds is still very young - we don't usually think about providing respite care until the child is about 7yrs old' (implication: we don't care if you drop dead of exhaustion in the meantime because that will save us money)

'you need to set boundaries' (no, really?)

[MannyMoeAndJack]

I couldn't agree more

My more un-PC version of this phenomenon is:

'to include my ds, you have to exclude others'

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

I have been heard to say exactly the same thing Manny. A lot of events organisers struggle to understand that. So they don't even notice that they haven't catered to people's needs.

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

fio.

I also had - when enquiring about disabled parking space - "we don't provide them for children, as you could drop them off outside and go and find somewhere to park"

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

oh fio- who was that barking mad woman who insisted she had to talk to your dd, even after you explained she couldn't talk?

[PheasantPlucker]

Re jimjams above - only yesterday we received papers for a review, which stated dd1 MUST fill them in for herself, and sign them. Which will be hard, as at 7 she cannot read or write........

I am going to work - these are making me quite angry!!!

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Oh yes I get that every year. A double side of A4 from the LEA with the annual statement review for ds1 to fill in. "What do you like about your school?' One day I might fill it in using heavy sarcasm.

[misscutandstick]

what the ??? omg im speechless! (pardon the non-pun) and that simply doesnt happen for me!

[misscutandstick]

perhaps 'stuck for words' could have been used sorry.

BUT OMG!

[magso]

Ah yes the review forms! Do we all write ''Dc is not able to read or write''
I also had the LEA officer say my child did not have LD!And when I explained that is what the 'devepmental delay, low P scales, and very low centiles on the EP report meant she huffed back 'Well that just your opinion'! (So the paed and EP did not count I suppose).

[MannyMoeAndJack]

I once had a form sent home from school...it was in relation to a home/school liaison project. Amongst various questions was this little nugget:

'what would you change about your dc?'

Now, that was a long answer - but not what you think; rather I pointed out that it was a pretty insensitive question for a special school to be asking parents!!!

[BriocheDoree]

lol at Fiofio!

We're going to have to start getting involved with social workers soon as we're trying to set up some social skills therapy for DD so I'm just hoping that they aren't like some of the on this thread!

[MannyMoeAndJack]

BriocheDoree - well, one can hope but I'm pretty certain they all have to pass the following SS induction courses:

Module 1: How to stay uninvolved at all costs

Module 2: Why we must stay uninvolved at all costs

Module 3: Costs

Exam

[Nat1H]

When I asked for respite I was told my child wasn't disabled enough .
He has CP - triplegia, epilepsy, horner's syndrome, learning difficulties etc. etc. etc.

[anonandlikeit]

Not SS but I did have the specialist Autism support worker say during a presentation.

& I quote "In my opinion special schools make Autistic children worse as they allow them to be Autistic & freely exercise their Autistic tendancies. At main stream they ahve to conform & therefore overcome many of their Autistic traits"

Needless to say I have never used this lady for advice or support.

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Oh dear god anonandlikeit

Actually I have remembered the worst ever that we've had (and Fio thanks for posting I am PMSL again). It came from the NAS. The befriender organiser rang up to tell me that she had the most fabulous, wonderful befriender for ds1. That she was really enthusiastic, very keen, was happy to go to coffee shops (at this stage I should have been alerted). She didn't like swimming but she couldn't wait to befriend a high functioning child. At which stage I interrupted and pointed out that I had quite clearly indicated on the info sheet that my son was severely autistic. "oh" she said "are reyou sure?" Er yes. I pointed out he was non-verbal so pretty much not going to be described as high functioning. "Oh but he communicates doesn't he".

[anonandlikeit]

& guess what, surprise surprise this Autism worker was employed by the LEA, so no agenda there then!
She was giving a presentation to the parents of the SN children at ds2's M/s school.

They must think all parents are stupid.

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

The frightening thing is that she probably believes it anon.

[moondog]

Oh we had a good one in school!
Severely autistic child was pulling off his seatbelt, hitting the driver and other kids, trying to open the door and so on. Escort understandably upset and must have discussed it with others as later that day,the taxi firm boss phoned and asked if we could 'have a word' with the child in question and ask him to stop it.

Oh, if only it were that easy,we would all be out of a job..

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Oh i forgot the teacher in mainstream. Who wrote in the contact book that "ds1 keeps pinching me, could you sit him down over the weekend and explain it hurts"


I was livid until I showed it to the private SALT we were employing at the time and she threw her head back and roared with laughter. Wiping tears out of her eyes said "h dear, I don;t think she gets it does she?'.

[jimjamshaslefttheyurt]

Oh ds1's teacher got a very long reply as well. And the reply to that long reply? 'OK'.