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School asked to make referrals for DD

3 replies

Jxtina86 · 18/03/2024 14:00

Hello - first time posting here and just looking for some advice.

DD is 4, nearly 5 (summer baby). Started reception last September and on the whole has really settled in - has friends, is progressing well with phonics, numbers, reading and writing. However at the first parents evening, her teacher mentioned she struggles with her emotional regulation - this wasn't news to us as she had been struggling at home too. The school offered support and had lots of tactics in place to help. But since then, things have got worse not better.

Essentially when angry, frustrated or upset, DD can't communicate. She just screams, growls etc - she can communicate to tell you to leave her alone etc but she can't tell us what's wrong. And then we end up in a cycle of us assuming x is the cause when really it's y. This goes on for up to an hour before she eventually just collapses in tears and just wants a cuddle. She can talk about it after and we can sometimes cut off a huge meltdown by being proactive/distracting but we occasionally miss and then have to wait it out.

School have noticed an increase in this too and the final straw as it were was a huge meltdown when going to after school club one day. The reception teacher asked me to come in after school 2 weeks ago - she talked me through a new strategy they're using (pictures to help her identify her feelings, why, what could help). But also wanted to see if I was happy for her to be reffered to SALT (her pronunciation isn't quite where it should be - lello instead of yellow for example) as well as OT and paeds for assessment for any neurodiversity.

I said I was happy for all of that to go ahead - I was a bit surprised at first but the more me and DH think about it, there are certain things that perhaps point to something other than age etc. She is highly routine driven, remembers tiny details that happened over a year ago, hates anything out of routine (holidays and going to breakfast results in hysterics), goes to the extremes at either end of the emotional scale and so on. The biggest is of course shutting down in a meltdown.

Fully appreciate this is the start of a long journey for us, but just wondering if there are any resources to look into to help manage the meltdowns especially. I've seen The Explosive Child recommended?

Sorry for the long post - just wanted to give context! Thank you!

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Headfirstintothewild · 18/03/2024 17:07

It is brilliant the school is being proactive. Has the SENCO been involved? Have they made an IEP (or whatever they call their school level SENCO support plan)?

Does the school have a nurture group, forest school or anyone that can support something like drawing and talking therapy or Zones of Regulation work? 

Some find The Explosive Child book helps. Others find The Out of Sync Child or Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful. Do you &/or school have any sensory toys/equipment DD can use to try to de-escalate situations and then help DD re-regulate.

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Jxtina86 · 18/03/2024 21:12

Headfirstintothewild · 18/03/2024 17:07

It is brilliant the school is being proactive. Has the SENCO been involved? Have they made an IEP (or whatever they call their school level SENCO support plan)?

Does the school have a nurture group, forest school or anyone that can support something like drawing and talking therapy or Zones of Regulation work? 

Some find The Explosive Child book helps. Others find The Out of Sync Child or Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful. Do you &/or school have any sensory toys/equipment DD can use to try to de-escalate situations and then help DD re-regulate.

I haven't met the SENCO but reception teacher said she had spoken to her. Not sure about IEP - I will ask!

The school have an ARP and I've seen mentioned on the school website about Zones of Regulation. I will ask about this too. Possibly what they're using in class to help with her communication comes from this? They haven't mentioned it by name though.

School are getting me a copy of the faces/pictures so we can use the same system at home to encourage communication when she's upset etc. Haven't tried any sensory equipment to help with de-escalating/re-regulation. Forgive my ignorance but will this be a bit of trial and error? She is attached to certain toys but even in meltdown she'll just push/throw them away in anger...!

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Headfirstintothewild · 19/03/2024 07:29

Request a meeting with the SENCO.

Sensory toys/equipment is trial and error. Some of the common things that can help is a tent, trampoline, swing. This booklet and this website is a helpful starting place. Lots of areas don’t commission sensory OT on the NHS, but if your area does you can request a referral to them too. If you request an EHCNA an assessment can be part of the needs assessment.

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