Ive been thinking for a while that my son might have ASD but not really sure so wondering if people could share what their ASD children were like at just turned 3 years old?
my son isn’t the best at eye contact (but can give it for a second or so before looking away), doesn’t really play with other children and will often make a point of playing somewhere else if children want to play with him, isn’t talking much and what he does say is quite monotone, and he also hand flaps near his face quite a lot.
he doesn’t go to nursery or anything yet but thinking of sending him to a preschool or nursery soon, but worried about him settling in.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
What did autism / aspergers look like in your 3 year old?
myboyandmee · 17/03/2024 21:05
myboyandmee · 17/03/2024 21:13
Yes and she said she had some concerns but that it was probably too early to tell and he may grow out of it. He has got better in some areas but I can still notice a difference between him and other kids his age
i think if he has ASD then it will be very high functioning ASD and he may not even need a label but I just find myself worrying about him all the time
L00k4m3x · 18/03/2024 16:36
My son at 3 never interacted with us, never involved us in his play, started becoming very suddenly over night limited with his food choices, gave okay eye contact, didn’t respond to his name, understood next to no instructions, was obsessed and I mean OBSESSED with the alphabet, numbers, planets etc. never played with any other children, wouldn’t walk anywhere he had to always be in a stroller, hand led us to whatever he wanted I always said it was like we were just seen as tools to him.
myboyandmee · 18/03/2024 17:26
This sounds very much like my boy! Has your DS been diagnosed?
L00k4m3x · 18/03/2024 16:36
My son at 3 never interacted with us, never involved us in his play, started becoming very suddenly over night limited with his food choices, gave okay eye contact, didn’t respond to his name, understood next to no instructions, was obsessed and I mean OBSESSED with the alphabet, numbers, planets etc. never played with any other children, wouldn’t walk anywhere he had to always be in a stroller, hand led us to whatever he wanted I always said it was like we were just seen as tools to him.
Bobobab · 21/03/2024 08:04
For us nursery was really helpful.. . During lockdown I'd convinced myself ds just had a speech delay it was so obvious once he was with his peers and his development was tracked there were so many other differences. At home we had completely adapted to him which was good he was so happy but nursery was definitely helpful for his development and understanding and getting support needs addressed before school.
It was completely my ignorance about what autism looks like... now I'm so glad he has a diagnosis and the right support in school other kids have really struggled...
landofgiants · 20/03/2024 23:32
At that age, DS was obsessed with the alphabet, reading and words. He loved to play with his letters and line them up in order and they seemed to have a calming effect on him. If we went anywhere and he spotted something with text, we would have to stop and read it.
He fell over a lot, was unsteady on his feet at times and used to pace around the room frequently. He drooled constantly and preferred tiptoe-walking to the ordinary kind.
His speech was good ie other adults could easily understand him. He was a loving child but could be very challenging - lots of biting, kicking and hitting. He never called me ‘mama’ except to describe that he was eg kicking me.
He also loved animals, music and all things Julia Donaldson, to the point of me wondering if I would ‘lose him’ to the world of children’s books.
I started him in a nursery shortly after he turned 3 and I think in hindsight I think it was the wrong environment for him. If I was making the decision now, I would keep him home for longer (or use a childminder). I had to pull him out in the end because he wasn’t toilet-trained and they weren’t happy about it (they changed other kids, but my DS was apparently too heavy for them).
DS used to have all sorts of rituals that we would have to take part in eg there was one for leaving the house. If you didn’t engage with it/get it right, all hell would break loose. I can’t remember exactly what age he was when he started to get into character as an animal - he may have been slightly older - but he would wake up and make little animal noises and then he would ‘be’ that animal eg a fox all day. I remember that bit fondly - he was happy when he was in character.
Toomanyminifigs · 18/03/2024 12:08
You 'label' a parcel, not a person! Would you say that someone who has diabetes has a 'label'? A diagnosis of a condition can be beneficial in so many ways. It acts as a signpost to people working with the DC - and it can also help the DC themselves understand why they find some things challenging. There are recognised strategies and support that can be put in place at school and at home.
However, any support a DC needs at school/nursery is needs based rather than diagnosis-based - or should be anyway.
It can be very difficult to come to terms with the fact that a DC has additional needs. My DH cried when our DC was diagnosed with autism (even though it had been pretty clear for years). I think you can hold on to that small crumb of hope for as long as you can.
The thing about DC who have autism is that just like all other children, they do progress and change throughout their lives. It's just that it can take them longer to reach certain milestones. For example, my DS didn't talk until he was almost 4. However, even now although he has a reading age and vocabulary four years ahead of his chronological age, he uses spoken language in quite an 'usual' way and always will.
If/when your DS starts nursery, they should work with you to address any concerns you may have.
If you're worried about him settling in, I would look to start him sooner rather than later. It will be better for him to start socialising with his peers now before he starts school.
It's completely understandable and normal to worry about him. I would also warn you that where we live, there's a 3 year wait for an autism assessment and around a year for a SALT referral so you need to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. As others have said early intervention is so important.
My Ds is 14 now and I used to wake up in the night terrified about his future (I still do but that's another story!). He's thriving in his school now because he's got great support in place. He also knows what his triggers are and is starting to learn how to manage them. He knows about his diagnosis and that has been really important for his self-esteem.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.