ok, they win,

[kojackscat]

I surrender. The LA have ground me down, kicked me so many times, lied, confused, refused to communicate, etc. I give in now, I dont have the energy to continue to fight.

I will carry on loving my son, doing the best for him at home, but can't fight any more for him to get a decent education.
I'll just resign myself the the fact that he will be in a place that cant cope with him, not learn, be sent home often, only be in half days anyway, and generally fail.
I will never work again, so will have to contine to claim benefits, cos I cant find a job that is flexible enough to fit in with his short hours and regular exclusions

Cos that is what the LA want, and I dont have the emotional energy to fight them any more.

[2boysnamedR]

I think you have two months to appeal but as it's a ehcp you will have to mediate first so just near that in mind.

Well done and good luck.

[kojackscat]

I thought id update this.
We finally got the ehcp on Friday last week.
No one will pay for OT, so we need to appeal that. No one is disputing that he needs it, so I think we have a strong case to win an appeal.

We didn't get the ss we wanted, because the LA filled out the form wrong and this caused us to miss the deadline, and the school is very oversubscribed.
So we are appealing that too.

But he does have a place in a resourced provision in a MS school, and it seems nice. He seems positive about it, which surprised me, but its good.

Thanks all for your support and encouragement. Without you I would have given up ages ago.

I'll take a few weeks break then start the appeal in August, I think.

I'm sire ill be back for more help then.

Thanks

[kojackscat]

They are arranging transition work today. I've still not seen the plan, so no idea where the ot is, if at all.

[enterthedragon]

do not let them get away with putting the OT in the health section of the ehcp, if the issues that require OT input have a direct impact on education then it go in the education section. for example if OT is required for fine and/or gross motor skills then that is an educational need not a health need because that impacts on the ability to write.

[GrumpyOldBiddy2]

I completely agree Kojackscat, so sad.

I ended up phoning the children's commissioner at one point to explain what its actually like to have a child with SEN in this town who doesn't fit into their boxes.

Made no difference but made me feel better

[kojackscat]

Thanks. I feel sad that children's wellbeing comes second to cash.

[beautifulgirls]

You can use this to your advantage for the appeal by logging all the issues that he meets in the LA named placement and putting this forward as the reasons that only school x (your choice) can meet his needs. We shouldn't have to play the longer game but at least when you do it can work to your benefit. Once the plan is finalised you will get the right of appeal, though make it clear before they finalise it (for the record) that you are not happy with their choice but will be taking this to appeal from here.

[kojackscat]

I will agree, start transition work immediatley, then probably appeal. They have also told me this afternoon that he wont be gettng the OT that he needs either.

[MairOldAlibi]

You get 2 months from final ehcp to file an appeal.

Suggest you agree but try to insist he starts right now...so you get an inkling of how it's going before the holidays begin.

[2boysnamedR]

I mean can't cope. Blasted dyslexia, it looks ok when I proof read but when I post it it sounds like I'm Thai speaking English :0/

[2boysnamedR]

I know that this again is a horrible solution but dual placement where he can cope with the MS bit is a sure bet to get out if MS. It proves he can't cope, you don't need years showing he can't cope either.

All the RL people I know who have indi ss got there view this path. No appeals. The parents lodged appeals 2 out of three) but none made it to appeal.

Don't get me wrong as this is a shameful situation. But it's what I have seen.

[kojackscat]

yes, they are going to name a school in my long awaited EHCP. So if I move him, I can still go to appeal? thats good to know.

[AgnesDiPesto]

Yes you can still appeal while trying the new placement. If they issued EHCP (are they doing that to name the unit?) then that would take effect from date issued and be in force until tribunal decided otherwise. If no EHCP then yes you can accept the place for now and still appeal for something else.

[kojackscat]

Sorry to keep imposing on you lovey people but SOS SEn and IPSEA lines are permenantly engaged, and I need some advice about legalities.

It looks like the LA is finally about to name a school. Its not the ss that I wanted, but a dual registration at a ms school but he will attend a unit at another school until such time as he is ready to integrate into the ms school.
I can't see that he will ever be able to intagrate, but this placement will be better than where he is now.

So, if I accept that place, will I still be able to appeal for the ss I want, or by sending him there will I be deemed to have accepted it full stop?

Basially, what they are offering is better than what he has now, but not good enough. So I dont know if I should :
move him and be happy,
keep him where he is and appeal,
or move him and still appeal.

thanks

[Icimoi]

I just feel that you could conclude the fight very quickly by getting a letter formally threatening JR sent off. But, of course, I totally understand why you need a rest.

[beautifulgirls]

Keep going, this fight can be won. You are gaining more evidence every time his current school cant cope - get it documented and push it back at the LA as further evidence. Appeal where you need to if you don't get what he needs. Look at independent special schools as well, if the LA cant find a specialist placement in their schools or those neighbouring they will have to pay if that is what he needs, though tribunal may be needed to push this issue. It may be once you push for an indi school they can magically find a place elsewhere for him after all anyway.

[2boysnamedR]

The school not wanting him, while awful is good. If they don't want him, it's heir job to get him out. If they can't cope with needs, it's their case to build up

[kojackscat]

My mp has taken up the fight for the ehcp now. I need to step back from it for a while, its making me ill and v grumpy with the kids. And that's not fair on them.

[Icimoi]

Have you still not got an EHCP? Have you tried SOS SEN again?

[MairOldAlibi]

They really don't want him in school in September

Not necessarily a bad position for now. If there's no place elsewhere, wanting rid of your DS might motivate them a bit with managed move, 'alternative provision' or ensuring they do a poor job of opposition to parental EHCP.

[kojackscat]

Just had parents evening. They really don't want him in school in September. But without the ehcp , I dont know what the do. Everywhere is full, so wont accept him unless they are named on ehcp. And even then, no ms school can meet his needs, and the only ss is out of area and there is so much politics between the two LAs its unbelievable

[trulymadlydeeplyunlikeable]

For me its the lying and arse covering that is the worst, that and the arrogance!!

That's what frustrates me most. Despite laws and guidance, policies and training in place supposedly to support our children, it really comes down to attitudes and that's hard to fight and change.

I'm joining you in the time out. I've wasted another school year with people like this so I'll continue to keep note but I'm switching off come the Summer Hols and concentrating on what's important.

to all of you for having to go through this.

[chaiselounger]

You have my every sympathy.
They ground me down so much. We all 'get' you, if that's any consolation.

[2boysnamedR]

I have taken the low expectation attitude with my toddler. Expected nothing and got a specialist setting! Agree it's got to be the right fight at the right time. Pick your battles.

[youarekiddingme]

In agree stepping back is not giving up.

I've stepped in and out throughout DS life - even during the dx process.
I emailed to confirm every conversation and eventually when DS was at risk of exclusion for violence produced them all with an email saying it's due to lack of support and why wasn't it given to prevent this.
Complete u turn - inputs everywhere including EHCP application. Which ironically they refused to access because we had loads of reports and his needs were being met through 'my plan'.

Sometimes you have to know what you want whilst knowing what you get is good enough. It maybe the wrong attitude but I decided if I had high expectations of school they could disappoint me - so I lowered them!