DS 6th Birthday - a difficult day

[Belsbels]

I am relatively new here ? I posted a few weeks ago about my DS who was recently diagnosed with autism, and received some very helpful advice in dealing with the school and other parents.

My DS was 6 on Saturday. He found the whole day very difficult. We planned a party for him, but he had the mother of all meltdowns for nearly two hours before it was due to start, and we very nearly had to cancel. We finally calmed him down, and actually the party was not too bad ? about half the invitees turned up which was good, and my DS seemed to enjoy himself. However, he has been really out of sorts ever since, continually on edge and very difficult to manage.

However, I found the whole experience very upsetting. I thought I was coming to terms with the diagnosis a bit, but it seems maybe not so much as I thought. At the party I saw all the other 5/6 year olds playing with each other, and compared them with my DS who was mostly on his own, or trying clumsily to interact but mostly inappropriately, and it made me sad. I know I need to be stronger and get over this so I can focus on helping him, but it is all so different to how I imagined it would be six years ago.

How long did you find it took to come to terms with diagnosis and to stop comparing your DC?s with others? And are ?special? days always going to be difficult for us and for him? I would appreciate any thoughts, as I don?t think I coped very well and would like to do better next time.

[Belsbels]

Thank you all for your replies. Lots of valuable insights and ideas.

I know I need to toughen up, some days it just seem harder than others.

At least we have a whole year to get through before the next one!

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

Belsbels, I think you have to be kinder to yourself. Don't try to make things 'normal' every time if it's too hard. If your DS doesn't enjoy a NT party, do something that you all enjoy, instead. Give yourself permission to do things differently.

For what it's worth, my DS was DXed 10 years ago, and I still get pangs of what life should have been like, but I feel I've accepted the way things are. That doesn't mean I've given up fighting for him, but I do take the easy option more often than I used to. ((((Hugs))))

[DailyNameChanger]

Lol my son was diagnosed a few months ago and the first person who sends me Holland is going to get it! I feel the same. Birthday coming up and not knowing what to do for the best. Don't know about you but I can't help feeling that my son IS the best looking boy in the class ;-)