Ellen,Bigcar,Lostinwales etc-can you advise on secondary transfer please?

[Penneyanne]

I have been re-reading the wonderful threads you lot had going in 2011 when your dcs were on the cusp of secondary transfer and have found them brilliant as a reference point for things to look out for/preparations that can be made in advance/things to ask school etc.
I am wondering ,seeing as you are all in your second year now, if you could feed back a little as to how it all went,was it as scary as you had feared,how did the dcs cope.what would you do differently if anything etc etc.
Ds is in his final year of primary and we have decided on a school-funnily enough we are not going for the one thats all geared up for SN but for another one that most of his friends are going to ,just feels right for him etc.But I am starting to get very anxious about the whole thing and how he will cope etc.
Thanks in advance ladies as I think I would find this really helpful..

[Penneyanne]

Thanks everyone for all your feedback-its so encouraging to hear all your positive stories. Its great that all the boys seem to much prefer the rigid structure of the timetable as I could only imagine confusion and mayhem every time I think of the new timetable and how my ds will cope with it .So hopefully now that won't be the case.Sorry I havent been on lately-been having a quick read and catchup when I can.Blooming real life is a nuisance the way it gets in the way of Mumsnet sometimes.

[moosemama]

Thanks Ninja, another reassuring story. I may even start unclenching my jaw soon if this keeps up!

Really pleased your ds has settled in well and the school seems on the ball.

[TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission]

have namechanged since that thread! It all seems so long ago now. Ds isn't statemented so I was a little worried but actually it's all worked out better than we expected. At the beginning he was always on the phone when he got to school and on the way home, just for reassurance I think but that seems to have tailed off unless he has stayed for something after school. He still gets quite anxious about things but the pastoral support people have been good at talking to him and sorting him out.

they have the computerised registers at his school and every child with any additional needs is flagged up, so when the teacher does the register it is obvious who may need a little support and that has worked well for him. A few minor issues with bullying but the school was straight on it as soon as I told them. When he started they gave us the email addresses for senco, his tutor, head of year etc so it's been really easy to keep in touch with what's going on, much better than phoning. We also get the general weekly school email that has any events for the week, what's on for lunch and which week it is.

he's made good progress over the last year and has settled in reasonably well, the school have been really supportive which has made a massive difference compared to primary.

lovely to hear the updates from our old thread

[moosemama]

That's what I was thinking alison. Send him with some lunch, but put some money on the account so he can have a drink and some crisps or something with his friends.

The problem is, the sandwich eaters have to eat in a separate hall to those buying from the cafeteria, which makes it awkward for ds socially. I don't think they'll cater for a vegetarian, coeliac with sensory food issues though.

Apparently there was mayhem when they introduced the system as lots of parents refused to allow them to keep their children's prints on record. They now have a signed agreement that says they won't release them to anyone and the records will be destroyed when no longer needed.

[alison222]

I am debating whether to replace the lunch card. DS has lots of allergies so I feel safer if he takes sandwiches, but it seems most kids have lunches and he wants to fit in. I was toying with the idea of putting a bit of money on it so he could have something once in a while. The canteen is also open for snacks at break-time which is 11.15 and this i think is where he would spend the money - on things like pizza slices. I like the idea of thumb prints though.

[moosemama]

That's reassuring about the two-week timetable.

There were so many lost lunch cards at our secondary that they've gone over to thumbprints instead. Ds will probably have to take sandwiches though, due to being gluten free.

[alison222]

Hi moose -The 2 week timetable seems fine to be honest. The school website shows which week it is and you can count them up in the homework diary. It is just a case of making sure that you read the right one.

We have lost a PE sock so far, but thankfully no books .Oh and he has lost the lunch card they give them so there is no money carried around - thankfully no money on it but it will cost £5 to replace.

Again the school has a blanket ban on phones, but DS has one in his bag for calling me on the way home if he needs to or to tell me he is staying late in the library to do homework etc.

[moosemama]

I have a feeling it's a blanket phone ban at our secondary as well. To be honest, I would be ok with that, as it means ds would have to go to LS for support instead of just getting himself in a state and phoning me in a panic, when there's very little I can do from home to sort things out for him.

I will get him a cheap phone though, same as Bertha really, so he can be reassured if I'm a couple of minutes late picking up etc.

Hi Alison.

No lockers in our school, just pigeon holes, but they can leave their stuff in a dedicated pigeon hole with a box in in the LS department if they struggle organisationally. Good thing about that is that there's always a few members of staff in there, so things are less likely to walk. (Unlike ds2's entire uniform that was missing after swimming yesterday. )

How does he cope with the 2 week timetable Alison? That's one of my concerns for my ds.

I think we're very lucky that his best friend is going to the same school and we have already been told they will be put in the same form group. Not sure if they'll be in the same sets. They are at the moment, as ds is in top for everything, but I'm not at all confident of how ds going to cope with SATs in terms of proving his ability to the new school. His friend is an absolute super-brain - top of everything, plus a million and one extra-curricular activities that he also excels at. I do worry that ds will get left behind by him very soon after starting secondary.

I'm still panicking that they might not take him. Spoke to LEA and we definitely won't find out until February 15th (dh's birthday ) and by then he will have it set in his mind that that's where he's going. I think if they refuse to take him I will homeschool, rather than shove him in the next-best thing, which really isn't right for him. That way he can do more vocational stuff - computer programming etc - and we'll enroll him in some of his friends clubs to makes sure he carries on mixing socially.

[alison222]

Coming to this thread rather late. DS has just started year 7. Teething problems that you might want to pre-empt so far are:

He was promised a locker. In practice it took 2 weeks to get it.
They have ignored the statement as far as I can tell as he seems to be getting very little support.

It took me 3 weeks of badgering his key worker ( which was changed from when we were initially told - but DS says the new one is nice) to make sure DS knew her name to go with her face and that she was who he should go to for help if there was no TA in class or if it was not related to a particular lesson topic.

There is still no sign of any OT as per his statement. We has annual OT review and apparently because there is also OT in part 3 this has to be commissioned specially and extra and the school have not done it yet.

BUT it is a nice rigid timetable ( if a confusing 2 week one), he is starting to get to know people ( not our catchment school). He is managing the journey by himself ( after leaving his but pass at home some days and having to walk to his disgust!).
And one added bonus, he has decided to go to auditions for the musical today after school. - Something he would never have done in primary school

[BigBoobiedBertha]

DS leaves his in the pocket of his school bag. Probably not the best idea as the screen has been smashed. Probably somebody trod on his bag whilst it was lying on the floor somewhere. Perhaps I need to knit a little phone sock for the next one - ruin what little street cred he ever had.

I was worried about DS losing things and not taking responsibiity but part of that new found maturity is that he has, for the most part, stepped up and really got on top of this sort of thing. His tutor helped by reminding him to pick up things every morning and being the collection point for things he left in class rooms but it hasn't happened that often. He did leave his phone on once but found it wasn't charged when he wanted it and didn't do it again - thankfully he only phoned to chastise me for being a nanosecond late so it wasn't an emergency and it was a valuable lesson without being a disaster. He very rarily actually speaks to me on the phone as I am usually in the car on my way to collect him anyway and can't pick it up.

On the other hand you've reminded me that he has lost his summer rain jacket thing this term and seems unable or unwilling to track it down. He says he has asked in all the right places so I suspect he dropped it somewhere between the school gate and the place where I pick him up and it is long gone into a hedge or something. Thankfully it was cheap, only the kind of thing to stop him getting soaked but it still cost and it is the principle of the thing more than anything.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

Zipped inside pocket in his blazer! And I make sure it's charged. TBH he leaves it on all the time, but no-one ever rings him

[Penneyanne]

Yes,mobiles are also banned in ds's secondary school-its for use after school really,in case of emergency on the way home/running late /change of plans etc. As Ellen reminded ,I must ensure he is completely familiar with it and that the novelty has well worn off by september. Mind you,our biggest problem will be getting him to remember to always have it with him and switched on after school-he tends to lose or forget almost everything[sigh]!

[BigBoobiedBertha]

All phones are completely banned in DS's school. If they are seen they are confiscated. You aren't allowed to use them on the school site basically and they must be switched off at all times. I have no problem with it personally. I think it must stop the whole oneupmanship thing of who has the best phone and stops the inevitable bending or re-interpret the rules. It is also a lot easier for DS. He doesn't have to worry about whether he should be using the phone or not and it gives him a break from fiddling around with electronic devices (his phone is very cheap anyway because of this). He just can't use it until he is outside the gate at the end of the day. He phones me if I am running late or if we have a different pick up time for some reason and he wants to make sure I am not going to forget him!! As if?!!

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

In DS2's school mobiles must be switched off in lessons (or more likely switched to silent!) so they can only be used in breaks, lunch and before and after school. Really useful for the journey there and back if this is independent. DS2 has sent me texts before now checking on any out of ordinary arrangements, like picking him up early for an appt etc. He has also texted to say, 'Where's my French book?' not really getting that I can't drop everything at work and go take it to him!

The friendship group sounds fantastic. DS had quite a few extra visits but the extra ones were all him alone. He also went on a few whole year inductions, but only 4 went there from his school, they were full of people he didn't know. His TA from primary accompanied him on the whole year group days.

[moosemama]

Right, am gathering questions:

1. How do they ensure all teachers are aware of ds's SEN and what to do/how to handle him. (Having on an automated register system sounds fantastic.)
   

1. What are there rules around mobile phone use in school.
   

His transition is being handled via his outreach teacher, who has already told me about extra visits and also a friendship group for children who are going to the same school. They get to meet each other a few times over the summer term, discuss what they're looking forward to and any worries and hopefully make some friends. Apparently it's been very successful over the past couple of years.

The Director of LS said they will make sure he meets and knows key staff before he starts and they will have him for a special day visit where he will do a mini project in his favourite subject . For example, last year a girl went and baked some cakes in food tech, for ds it will probably be something in the science lab or ICT suite. They dress it up as them going to gather information and feed back to their friends, so - providing they're up for it - they do a little presentation or question and answer session when they get back.

Penney, yes it's lovely to hear positive stories of how it's been for other people.

I'm so grateful to you all, Ellen, Coppertop and Bertha.

[Penneyanne]

Thanks Bertha-another one with a success story! Its all very positive I must say listening to you lot.I hope we will be feeling the same Moose this time next year.
What a great system to have the SEN details come straight up on the register-not sure yet how this works at our chosen school, but failing all else,I will do a cribsheet/list of bullet points etc about ds's strengths and needs and laminate it and do copies for all the teachers-I think it was Goblinchild who did this last year on your old thread.
Ellen,funny you mentioned the mobile phone,because I was thinking we will get him a mobile phone at the end of school year,but might be worth doing it sooner for the reasons you mentioned.Might get it for christmas instead now.Mind you, I can see him using it only to play games on it.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

Oh and our first point of contact is the personal tutor not the SENCO but I am very happy with that as I don't like the SENCO and neither does DS. She seems to see him as a list of SEN, not as a person who is actually quite bright. Thankfully we have nothing to do with the sour-faced battleaxe woman and DS has a social comms session with a LSA.

His form tutor is really nice and 'gets' DS so she is a good person to talk to. I don't suppose it matters who it is so long as there is somebody you can email or phone.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

Hello Ellenjane! Nice to see you again. I did try and resurrect the old thread sometime after Christmas but nobody saw it and I forgot about it so didn't bump it enough!

Sounds like your DS is doing well. When you think back to this time last year and all our different worries it is good that they are settled now. I don't know about you but it is amazing how much my Ds has grown up this last year, emotionally and physically. He isn't the same boy at all. He is still socially immature but that isn't surprising and in a way that is a bit of a blessing - he isn't being side tracked by friends and girls and all the other stuff they start to get side tracked by as teenagers.

I like the sound of the SEN being flagged up on the register. I have no idea how they do it at DS's school although all the teachers seemed to know, understand and make allowances for DS when we spoke to them at parents' evening. Some of them even seemed to enjoy having him in the class becuase of his enthusiasm which is nice. I think he is perhaps a nice change from the average teenage boy who wouldn't want a teacher to know he is interested but if DS intersted in something he is full of questions and keen to learn - perhaps another advantage of his immaturity. He is like a big puppy dog really.

I think that is perhaps a useful question for Penneyanne and Moosemama though - how do you make sure that the teachers know and remember what SEN they have in their class?

I would also ask about extra settling in sessions. DS went 4 times in the summer term of Yr 6 instead of 1 and that helped. They also sent his timetable early both in Yr 7 and this year. He didn't really need to know this year but it was still nice of them to remember.

DH still takes DS to school and I pick up so DS is sort of protected from the bullies a bit. I sort of imagine they would hang out on the bus - don't ask me why! I do try and make him walk part of the way home, for the exercise as much as anything and he has walked all the way home a few times. I keep thinking I should let go and leave him to get on with it, despite the moaning but in the end, I have to be home to let him in (we have a very difficult front door that I struggle with let alone a dyspraxic child) so I just keep getting him. I would be happier if he had a friend to come home with as well but it doesn't look like there will be one any time soon.

[moosemama]

Oo ds would love Scrabble club!

Forgot to say earlier, but we are allowed to call the LS department directly with any problems and apparently they are used to getting calls in the morning before school to forewarn them about something that is worrying certain children or that 'X is wobbly today because of Y' or 'X has already had a major meltdown this morning, so tread carefully' etc. There are two lovely ladies there who 'man' (woman?) the phones just for the LS department and are really helpful, so I found that really reassuring.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

Bertha! (Neicie?) How the devil are you? It's like a school reunion.

Glad Y7 was successful for your DS, too. I like the sound of scrabble club.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

I think I was on that thread. Funnily enough I was thinking about it the other day.

I have to go and get DS1 in a mo so I can't say too much but I think the most important thing for us was to make sure that you chose a school with good communications, especially between you and the SEN department. DS1's rocky start to school was all because the school were crap at communicating and I wish with hindsight that I had trusted my gut instinct on the SENCO and asked more questions. For someone who is supposed to have empathy and understanding and be approachable she is a steely face old battle axe imo. Thankfully DS's tutor had worked in a SEN school and was much nicer so we went to her with problems.

Of course asking questions is easy to say when you know what the question should be, which of course I didn't back then. I don't think it would have made us change schools but I might well have gone for an IPA when it was suggested in Yr 6. The juniors were all for it but the secondary weren't. With hindsight I would have pushed for it.

Apart from that DS had a great year. He did really well and had no real problems. He isn't in the top set or anything but that's fine. He is probably in the right place. He also can't tell me who is in his class. Well, actually to be fair he probably could tell me most people but he couldn't tell me who he had to work with during the day or what they did. He still has no friends but he is as happy as larry spending his breaktimes in the library so if it doesn't matter to him I suppose it shouldn't matter to me. It still does but that is my problem!

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

That is weird, moose. I just assumed we'd crossed and then you didn't spot it. I was ready to be all hurt and offended!

The walk to school sounds a bit tricky. I'm lucky that DS2's bus stop is halfway along the route to his primary school, so he knows it really well and has DS1 with him 90% of the time.

The 2 week timetable sounds a bit of a pain, but I'll bet he will surprise you and have it all off by heart really quickly. I think clubs at lunchtime are the way to go. My DS is oblivious enough to be happy in the learning skills area, but your DS is higher functioning, I reckon, and may find that it's not 'cool.'

Do you reckon 'Learning Skills' is the new PC term for SEN?

[moosemama]

Thank you Ellen, lots of reassurance and tips there.

The school we have chosen has a relatively large SEN/LS department but don't have masses of children with SEN (mainly I think because it's a high achieving school and people are under the impression that there dcs will be under too much pressure). We were very impressed with their set up.

We were shown around by the Director of LS, who had only been in post for 1 year, but was very well up on the sort of support pupils with ASD are likely to need and able to give examples of what they do with/for other pupils, which is very similar to what we expect ds to need. There's free access to the LS department and always someone there if a pupil needs help. There's no formal lunch club, but the door is always open and most of the kids with ASD tend to spend their lunches and breaks in there when not attending clubs. Not sure ds will want to go there though, as he will want to spend the whole time with his beloved best friend.

Ds already has his heart set on a couple of clubs, in particular the Science one where they enter competitions and built gadgets etc. His friend is very much a 'joiner' so I envisage them both attending lots of clubs together.

The school has before-school, lunch-time and after-school homework clubs as well, so I am hoping to get ds into the habit of attending those, rather than bringing it home and refusing to do it. If it doesn't work, then so be it, but it will also be dd's first year of full-time school and I feel she deserves to get the same amount of help and support the boys got from me at that age, which I won't be able to do if I have an hour+ a night of work to do with ds1.

As for getting to and from school. I am planning to take my driving test between now and then, as there's no way he'd get there on his own. There's no bus and the safe-walking route is through a complicated housing estate where all the houses look the same. Also, ds knows the green-cross-code, but would blithely step in front of a car while distracted. In theory he could walk with his best friend, but then I feel it's not fair to expect his friend to supervise him and keep him safe, iyswim.

I'm expecting anxiety and problems with transitions to be the biggest problems. Also, since our visit the school has gone over to a fortnightly timetable, which isn't great, as it will make it harder for ds to know where he is and memorise the timetable, especially if he can't remember what week he's in.

[moosemama]

That's so weird. Ellen, we obviously crossed on my first post, but then your post didn't show up on my computer at all last night, so I've only just seen it. There was only Penney's, mine and Coppertop's posts on here when I posted last night.

Off to read it now.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

Thanks Penneyanne. I see I crossed with moosemama and she has already found you!

Worst issue for DS was when he caught the wrong bus home and I was very, very glad he had a mobile phone and knew how to use it. So don't leave giving him one until next Sept, get it earlier so that is isn't a novelty, less likely to be playing with it and getting it nicked. Not that DS actually phones or texts anyone but me!

Like coppertop's DS, mine hasn't made any friends, but he is quite happy with that. He finds group work tricky and is better in paired work with a suitably chosen partner.

I only know how he's set as the sets are numbered on his timetable. As I said, communication is minimal. He actually does quite well in CATs, but can't do sufficient writing or thoughtful analysis to get set any higher.

I have the SENCos email but I usually email one of the lead TAs who is very experienced (more so than the SENCo?) if there are any issues I need to discuss, but, TBH he's had a good year so I haven't felt the need to be on their case as I had to in primary school. The advantage of a bigger school is that they will have dealt with DC like your DS before and if you have a good school, they can be trusted to do things well.

He has found the rigid structure of the timetable and lack of unstructured time to suit him well! Lunch is only 45 mins and he spends most of it in the learning skills 'club.' If that wouldn't be suitable for your DS, try to find out what other clubs run, as they have Warhammer, Astronomy, Choir, all sorts going on that might suit at lunchtimes. Anything is better than them roaming around the school getting bullied. DS won't do any after school activities as home time is home time!

I still do all his homework with him, which is a bit of a pain, but he needs lots of support despite being of above average IQ. Sometimes I type as he talks or he writes or types as I dictate. I put a note on the h/w saying he was supported. He needed lots of support with revision at the end of last year.

I've talked before about the pupil passport they have. It's a summary of his main issues which comes up automatically on the teacher's laptop when they take the lesson register, (which they do for each lesson in his school.) In a big school good communication between the SEN dept and all the many teachers needs to be automatic, or at least, very well organised. Some teachers only teach DS for one lesson a week, so by the time they get to know him it would be Christmas!