My son has Aspergers Syndrome and is being bullied at school

[niki5]

I have a seven year old son who suffers from ASD
at the moment he is being bullied in the classroom
his auxillary has five kids with special needs to
look after and just dosent seem to care.Anyone any
suggestions what I can do with out being the mother with attitude?

[ScummyMummy]

Hi niki5- I would try meeting informally with his class teacher & assistant to discuss this in the first instance. If you don't get an adequate response- ie reassurance and/or a clear plan of how they are going to tackle this problem- then put your concerns in writing to the head teacher and SENCO. Ask about anti-bullying policies and about the support that is in place for your son. Check that he is actually receiving any provision he has been promised. Does your son have a statement of Special Educational Needs? If so consider calling his annual review early to ensure that everyone is aware of the problem and strategies are in place to protect your son from this bullying. Can communication between your son and the auxillary be improved? Could some guidance on social interaction- such as a specifically tailored social skills programme- help him to cope with other children a bit better? I am not trying to excuse the other kids' cruel and intolerant actions or the school for allowing them to happen but many children with aspergers can benefit from some advice in this area IME! Please don't worry about being a mother with attitude- though if you feel that you might become very upset or angry when talking to school staff (understandable when your boy's well being is at stake) could you take a supportive friend or family member with you for moral support?
Good luck to you and your son. I do hope the situation improves soon.

[niki5]

Deaar scummy mummy I have been advised by the schools educational psychologist we do not require a record of needs we live in Scotland and our school does not beleive in them unless you really really push. Auxillary is more interested in mothers than children if you know what I mean

[ScummyMummy]

Probably being stupid- bit tired!- but am not sure I do know what you mean, niki. Can you discuss this with the class teacher if the auxillary is not helpful?

[niki5]

Teacher is fine explaining that she will deal with this and has explained that she understands how he feels had to come home for dinner at lunch time. So he was worried about going in with one particular boy so he asked if he could wait with me until the class was in no problem with me but auxillary came up to him and said right you in now! I was fuming but let it slip I want to have him taught in mainstream school along with his twin and really dont want to rock the boat too much!

[jmb1964]

Niki - we're in Scotland too, and have also been advised by ed psych that ds1 doesn't need a Record of Needs - do they want us to wait until he's about ready to be excluded? We are currently going through a second opinion process with a private psychologist to try and get a clearer feel about ds1's diagnosis, and plan to take his advice about the RoN. Unfortunateley INSEA has been little help as their funding has run out.
You have to be concerned about your child above all else, even if getting things right means you get seen as pushy.
In our ds1's class the other children seem to be coming to understand ds1 and his needs and differences, and things are getting easier. Ds1 says things like :'Fraser's good with me', which I think might be coming from his teacher and helper directing him towards the more sympathetic ones in the class. Otherwise, he is an easy target for bullying, as some little beggars find out very quickly which buttons to press to provoke one of ds1's outbursts - very entertaining for them, but harrowing for ds1. One day this week he even fell asleep in class in the afternoon after one of these had happened in the morning.
Can you try and get the auxiliary on your side more somehow? Surely she can't be just standing by if there's obvious bullying going on??

[ScummyMummy]

Hmmm. Sounds like the auxillary could be a pain in the bum- has she had any training on apsergers/asd and, if not, can you request that she receives some? Is there a social & communication skills specialist at the Education Authority who could advise or could you send in some info on aspegers for her to read? As I said before, I wouldn't worry too much about rocking the boat- it is your son's right that proper attempts are made to meet his needs in mainstream school (and without a record of needs he could not be transferred to a special school anyway, unless the Scottish system is very different from here in England.) I think it would be worth monitoring the situation and noting down any further incidents as they occur. If the auxillary is not doing her job properly you need to discuss that- as tactfully as you can!- with someone who can help sort her out.

[singingmum]

niki5
If all else fails I'd push and warn the school that they are not filling there legal obligation to educate your child and care for him in education time.If you can find a website with relevant education laws and you should find that the school are legally obligated to do both the teaching and protecting during school hours.Am shocked by the assistant who by rights should have training and experience.
Hope you find a solution as I know how harrowing it can be to deal with school teachers and their 'I know better than you' attitude.

[niki5]

The auxillary waited nearly 4 months to be shown how to give rectal diazepam for his epilepsy,so courses are not a priority. Also my son is very quiet and unassuming,while another child with Aspergers in his class is very violent and anyway how can 1 auxillary split her self to care for 5 kids? Thanks to everyone who has posted a reply it is great to think that I'm not the only one out there with problems

[Jimjams]

The law in Scotland has changed- I think it now states that the LEA has to provide the "best" education for your child (rather than an adequate education- as in England and Wales). This gives parents lots of power. Don't worry about special school- there aren't any places anyway- that is not going to happen.

Have a look on the web IPSEA are good- they have some specific Scottish advice- find out your rights- then get in there! I have found quoting law at the LEA and school quite useful in getting what ds1 needs. www.ipsea.org.uk/ this give syou a phone number to ring in Scotland.

[Oakmaiden]

How much support do children in mainstream schools get, and how much should they get? I know this is diverting a bit from the original topic, but I have been wondering recently how much support is usual?

My son started school about 4 weeks before the end of last term - he has ADHD and Aspergers (and Tourettes, but that doesn't need support!). As of the beginning of this term he has a one-to-one support worker (so not shared, although originally the school planned to put him in a small group with a support worker) throughout the morning every morning (so about 15 hours). However, my friends son (who has ASperger, and i would say is far more rigid and "disabled" by this than my son is) was only offered 5 hours a week, and his mother had to fight for that. They do go to different schools - is it just that i ended up (by luck) choosing a supportive school who are very proactive in this, or is it that different diagnoses get different allowances, or is my son just more disruptive and thus they want to sit on him more? Is 15 hours of support a lot? I'm a bit new to all of this, but I have been wondering....

[niki5]

Dear jimjam just looked on your suggested site and I've just relised my son has never been assessed I've just gone to meetings with the school and taken their word. I've been told that auxillary hours are NOTfor individual children but for the whole school and its at the heads discretion who gets what a subject I think I'll now be looking into!

[Rebi]

I'm not sure Oakmaiden. My son gets a full-time classroom assistant, but that was organised before he started school, so I don't think it matters which school your child goes to - even the Board area doesn't seem to have any bearing. I know people here who's child only get a few hours.

I do think it is ridiculous though. If a child is getting support for his/her behaviour needs how can they judge when he/she is going to need that help.

It all seems pretty ad hoc to me.

[Rebi]

I'm not sure Oakmaiden. My son gets a full-time classroom assistant, but that was organised before he started school, so I don't think it matters which school your child goes to - even the Board area doesn't seem to have any bearing. I know people here who's child only get a few hours.

I do think it is ridiculous though. If a child is getting support for his/her behaviour needs how can they judge when he/she is going to need that help.

It all seems pretty ad hoc to me.

[Rebi]

ooopps sorry

[Rebi]

niki5 - if your son was assessed and was considered to need assistance in class, the school would get extra funding for this purpose.

It is very difficult sifting through what is true and not - support groups and Mumsnet are brilliant for this reason - other parents will tell you their experience.