Starting to lose the plot

[RhubarbRhubarb23]

Hello! I have a lovely 7 week old daughter. She was much longed for and our journey to her was difficult. She's my DC no 2 and has a 6 yr old sibling.
Her sleep is really starting to challenge me and is wearing me down. She won't sleep in her next 2 me, so I brought her into bed with me and chucked my partner out (nicely, of course) in the hope it would help us all get more sleep. How wrong I was! She cannot settle other than on someone. She's currently snuggled on my chest and I'm counting down the hours til 6am when my partner takes over.
She's EBF.
When I put her on the bed (I of course follow safe cosleep guidelines) the maximum time she'll stay asleep for is ten mins before she pings her eyes wide open and is wide awake. She won't sleep in her Moses basket during the day either. After she was born we were in hospital for a week and she didn't sleep in the cot there...on me or her dad all the time.
The sleep deprivation is really starting to get on top of me now. Even being woken every 2 hours feels like something to aspire to from this! (That's what my dc1 did for a year).
She's been a bit refluxy and she's on omeprozole for that and it seems to have helped. I've been taking her to a cranial osteopath and we have a few more sessions in the diary.
What can I do to help her sleep on her own? Maybe there's nothing. I know she needs me and that she gets great comfort from the warmth and connection. I do too. But I'm absolutely exhausted and need to get some sleep. I don't really have family around to help.
Obvs not really up for cry it out.
Any suggestions / words of encouragement?

[Brightandbreezey]

Oh this sounds so tough! And with an older child to look after too!!
Have you looked into chest sleeping? Follow cosleepy and happycosleeper on insta for advice and information on how to do this as safe as you can.
Also maybe try a sling in the day? That way DD is safe and snuggly close and (hopefully) sleeping while you can get on with your day.
I am sure it will get easier, good luck x

[TooMinty]

Does your partner take her in the evening so you can get a couple of hours then? E.g. you sleep 8pm-midnight while he holds her, then your shift midnight to 6am while he sleeps then you get another couple of hours in the morning?

[TooMinty]

Will she sleep in the pram during the day and you can nap too?

[Mumoftwo1312]

My dd was like this - burping after every side of breastfeeding was the only way. The burp to feeding ratio was like 50-50 in terms of time taken

[TooMinty]

Keep a giant muslin stuffed in your top to absorb your scent/warm it up then swaddle her. I had some success with a FisherPrice reclining bouncer that is suitable from birth for daytime naps.

[RhubarbRhubarb23]

Hi everyone. Thank you for your ideas, they are all very thoughtful. I'll give them a go and let you know how I get on. Xx

[Lalarara10]

One more to add is shush/pat - there’s tutorials on YouTube etc but could be one way of trying to settle her in her cot. It can take a while and you could always start practicing with a nap in the day when you’re not so tired.

[Reb1986]

Hi OP,

What does your bedtime routine look like? We really struggled to get our son down for the night initially, but we decided that we’d try a routine like everyone wrote about and just stick to it.

Bedtime went from being 45 mins from when we put him in his basket to 5 mins within about a week! We were amazed!

I then take him out of his basket when he begins to gruffle in his sleep and feed him. Once he’s asleep again I hold him for 8 minutes (I’m sure it’s hocus pocus, but I read a study….) and then put him back, bum first. It mostly works for me….

Some of our friends had the issue you describe and bought a Snoo on FB Marketplace. They rationalise that although it costs a lot, their daughter now sleeps and they can resell it afterwards.

[RhubarbRhubarb23]

Thanks @Lalarara10, I'll definitely give that a go!
@Reb1986 thank you for this suggestions - what bedtime routine do you use? I'm intrigued, would love to try x

[migmig]

My little babe is 7w and refuses day naps lying down too. So I sleep her in a wrap - she loves it! I get time to myself that way. Shame that I can't really sleep with her in the carrier. On the night time front - agree with waiting 8 min and then bum first. I also started by cosleeping with my arm hugging her first. And then eventually removed the arm. To be honest it's all a bit of a mystery and a waiting game. But I too would love more sleep!

[BabySleep10Weeks]

My baby bot (now actually 20 weeks!) was like this when first born. He would only sleep on me because he wanted to be held and be somewhere safe. The whole fourth trimester, missing the womb thing.
We started swaddling him and it worked amazingly. Obvs follow lullaby trust instructions relating to it. But honestly it worked, he felt comfortably held in the swaddle, similar to how he was in the womb. Would sleep all night in it in his moses basket.

[Reb1986]

I’m not sure that our routine is magic, but this is what we do:

Stars projected on the ceiling in our bedroom for our son to watch.

Massage. (He now smiles at this point because he knows he gets to sleep soon)

Pacifier.

Lullabies until he gets really sleepy.

Into his swaddle (we used Love to Dream).

Switch to night light, stars off.

White noise on.

More lullabies until he’s almost asleep.

Into Moses basket and gentle rocking.

We also made a concerted effort to keep the last wake window pretty chilled.

I think it’s less what you do and more the repetition. Now when I sing those lullabies and stroke my little boy’s face, if he’s sleepy, his eyes start to close.

[RhubarbRhubarb23]

Hi everyone
Just a little update...I swaddled her and she slept well - only a few wakings - in her next 2 me! I couldn't believe it - I was walking on air! Unfortunately this only lasted three nights. Now she wakes every 10-30 minutes (swaddled, in her next2me). Argh! I'm so tired I'm like a ghoul...my dh is really losing it with exhaustion (+ he sleeps in another room for 6 hours a night but he has her til 12 and then at 6am again).
What can I do? She doesn't even wake to feed - lots of the time I offer her the boob during her wakes she doesn't want it.
All the apps say she should be doing longish stretches by now (she's 9 weeks tomorrow).
I know I probably just need to keep going and hope it will change soon and remind myself that there's already an improvement as she now is in her next2me for the night as opposed to in my bed (I know this suits lots of folk but it doesn't me).
I do a little bedtime routine that's calm, consistent and dark. I swaddle her. I play womb heartbeat sounds all night. Any more bright ideas from you lovely folk to shift things?