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Did your baby learn to nap on the go? Did you 'teach' them?

20 replies

Anonnewbie · 11/11/2023 20:33

4 month old baby will only nap in his own bed now. I'm NOT complaining - until a couple of weeks ago I thought I was going to die of exhaustion from having to rock him all day and night.
However, he now won't sleep in a pram or carrier. If he's exhausted and I make an effort with the environment/movement etc he might sleep for 10-15 minutes but basically we can't go out as he gets so overtired from not sleeping.

My question is, did you experience this inability to sleep at this age (I think related to his ability to see and take in the world more), and did it sort itself out later (when?), or did you teach them by keep on trying regularly despite it being difficult, or did you just have to live with it and not go out much with them until they were old enough to go longer between naps?

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FATEdestiny · 11/11/2023 20:41

You will get better quality if sleep and a more established routine if you accept that you need to be home for naps in the cot, and life moves around that. This us absolutely possible, it's just about setting priorities

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LilyLemonade · 11/11/2023 20:42

Not exactly the same but my child would only sleep at night in her own bed; other friends encouraged me to go out in the evening and put her to sleep in her car seat or pushchair, because this had worked fine with their babies, but she couldn't sleep that way.

Similarly, there are those who say that babies 'learn' to sleep through noise but we started off in a noisy place and my baby slept very badly; once we moved to a quiet place she started to sleep very well.

Therefore I'm not much into the idea that you can teach them to sleep how and where you would like. I'd suggest that you just work around your DS's needs for now - the baby/napping phase passes quickly enough.

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Mamato29192 · 11/11/2023 20:43

Best just to let him nap in his cot.

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Takemetothelakes45 · 11/11/2023 20:47

I found the 4 month sleep regression had no effect on night time sleep but massively effected naps, I found them torturous however we tried to have them 😅 but this did pass in a few weeks!

That aside, I have always done contact napping / napping on the move as I have dogs to walk (used carrier and pram) so not so much that I taught them this but it was a necessity. But I do now have a pretty solid napper who can sleep pretty much anywhere, however can’t be put down in the cot during the day for naps really (no issues at night). I have read (although not sure the truth behind this) that if naps are in a dark quiet room in their cot, babies can struggle to nap in other environments. This does seem to be true amongst the babies I know but all babies are different at the end of the day!

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Emma543 · 11/11/2023 20:52

My baby was (is) exactly the same.. as soon as she stopped contact napping then only ever wanted to sleep in her own bed.
she’s now a year old I’ve always just ran with it and gone out in the gaps between her naps then come home and put her straight to bed. I also did try but she would only nap for a short space of time in the pram and then be an overtired mess the rest of the day.

must admit I do walk past the mums in the shopping centre with babies fast asleep in the pram and think how on earth have they cracked that?! 😂

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Greentomatoes21 · 11/11/2023 21:01

Mine were the same and I just went out with them around the cot naps. Even when I had one in school and one napping 2 or 3 times a day in cot. When baby was having a morning nap and mid afternoon nap, we met people for lunch. When it was one lunch nap, we went out morning and/or afternoon. If schedule began to clash with school run, we moved his morning wake time so naps changed start time. I loved having them sleep in cots! 😅 If there was the odd unavoidable occasion that meant they had to catnap on the go, we just went with it and got back on track the next day. But we always prioritised those cot naps if we could and we were all happier for it. See if you can make it work, it was worth it for me. Good luck.

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PurBal · 11/11/2023 21:10

I think all babies are different. DS1 wouldn’t nap in his cot. DS2 (4.5 mo) will nap in cot or on the move but if there is anything remotely interesting he stays wide awake.

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mumof1or2 · 11/11/2023 23:15

My son is 7 months and he will sleep in his buggy when we're out and about but I do make an effort to recreate the environment at home. Eg wherever he is sleeping I make sure it's dark (snooze shade over the buggy), I play white noise, he snuggles a muslin and he has a dummy. Those four things = sleep time so it doesn't matter if he's in his bed at home or not.

Is there anything similar you could do to make a buggy sleep feel the same as a sleep at home?

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HaveALaff · 11/11/2023 23:25

I have a family with several different cultures and it is amazing how differently children learn to sleep.

The family I have who are more westernised will have a set routine around nap time. The family who aren't have naps completely on the go. Some of the kids will even nap at really loud parties and events when they are like 2 years old.

I really do believe that every child gets used to their environment. With my first I centred my routine around his naps but with my second it is all on the go. I gave up on a routine as it was just stopping me living my life. I also don't have school kids so an early wake up wasn't necessary. My toddler is so used to it now though, he can sleep anywhere if he really is that tired. Most of the time he just wants to rest and be awake.

A 4mo is still tiny though so don't feel so pressured, they just wants to be held. By 6 months it's a lot easier and so on.

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Petrie99 · 12/11/2023 02:22

At this age mine suddenly started to refuse being rocked or fed to sleep for a contact nap..it was hellish as they hadn't yet learned to nap in the cot. For us pram car and carrier always worked but at this age it took much longer and there was crying before every nap regardless of where or how. So I just persevered with getting out and them having a cry whilst the motion soothed them to sleep. I coped with that mentally better than trying to force the cot issue. I found a dummy helped. After a few weeks it passed and they now can and do nap anywhere, although if on the go it's usually only 30 mins and never on me in my arms unless absolutely exhausted

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FloofCloud · 12/11/2023 02:35

Mine both preferred their car seat or pram - I think it's all luck though, like whether you have a wingy child ot awkward one, do what you can!

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IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 12/11/2023 07:48

One pretty much put himself into his own routine withiin a few weeks. The other didn't sleep fit for more than 2.5 hours at a stretch until she was 3 - and hated daytime naps.

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MintJulia · 12/11/2023 08:05

I put ds in a sling from about 4 weeks and was constantly on the go. It was summer and I prefer to be outdoors. He would snooze or watch the world go by, quite happily. He would generally nap mid-morning and about 2.30. I didn't expect set times.

He always fell asleep in his car seat too. Not so much in a buggy, but I didn't use one much until he was about a year old. By then he was walking and wanted to be involved in everything.

Putting him to bed wasn't an issue until he started school at 4.

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TomeTome · 12/11/2023 08:34

Mine all just slept anywhere from the beginning. I don’t think I trained them though.

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Anonnewbie · 12/11/2023 21:52

Thanks, so many replies but I guess it just comes back to that unknowable combination of what you can do to change a situation Vs what the baby is like. I could persevere and disrupt his sleep with attempted outdoor naps, and MAYBE he will learn or maybe I will wish I stayed home and enjoyed the rest while I can...I'm leaning towards the latter with just a slight a fear that I have barely tried and will end up with a baby that struggles to sleep outside one environment.

I do love to get outside and knowing so many people whose babies only napped in the pram or car I was hoping to get fit with some long pram or carrier walks. I also can't do any baby groups or swimming lessons or anything whatsoever as we are at least a 15 minute drive from anywhere/anyone and that uses up his whole awake time.

Baby has never tolerated even being in the car seat at all, awake or asleep, and only did pram sleeps for a few weeks. He was fine with carrier sleep until recently, now the most I can get is 15 minutes if the environment doesn't change (e.g. a car goes past and wakes him up). I did manage 10 minutes of emergency pram sleep recently ( after a baby group disrupted his naps) by doing the full nap time routine and covering the pram as much as possible. I have been assuming that his cot naps of the past few weeks mean he struggles with other environments, but to be honest he was already napping worse and worse as the world is too interesting so maybe it's unrelated.

I guess I just roll with it because the cot sleep is a godsend and at some point (probably once in back at work..) he will stay awake longer, but now I'm well rested from his cot sleeping I want to get him out and about in the world. We will have to continue our outings to the end of the road and back for now I guess 😂.

If you asked me pre baby I would have said babies just learn from what they experience and I'm going to be like those cool European parents who take their babies to bars and let them sleep in the pram, or take my baby to festivals and they can sleep on me. Turns out babies have their own ideas about what you can do, damn!

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ExcitingRicotta · 12/11/2023 21:56

Give him the opportunity to surprise you! He is learning so much at that age. He can learn to sleep in the buggy, just like he has in his cot. Snoozeshade great to minimise overstimulation.

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Anonnewbie · 12/11/2023 23:22

@ExcitingRicotta true. They change so fast. We've already been through 4 distinct phases of pram tolerance (from no way, to ok if awake, to sleeping, to ok if we are having fun!). I have one baby group I try to get to if we can manage it, perhaps I will continue to offer a pram/carrier nap then and just be ready to do damage control if it doesn't work.

I nearly bought a running buggy in early pregnancy 😂 thank god I had the sense to wait as pregnancy and childbirth has physically ruined me and baby is definitely not up for it (at the moment anyway).

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Anonnewbie · 12/11/2023 23:25

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads it's so much down to the baby isn't it. I had no idea they were such individuals from so young!

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Petrie99 · 13/11/2023 06:35

Things are so changeable. I remember having a meltdown after a baby meet up when he didn't nap for over an hour as he would only sleep in the car at that point. He was fine. He used to love the pram awake, now hates it unless sleeping. Maybe try occasionally and see what happens. Over tired isn't as big an issue as everyone makes out, and as they get older they can tolerate their awake time being pushed more anyway, you will be able to get out more eventually

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Anonnewbie · 20/03/2024 20:05

I just came across this thread again and am posting a quick update as I always read old posts and wish there was an update on how it all turned out!

4 months on baby is wonderful. He will sleep in pram or car if needed, although it's trickier especially pram (he usually wakes up if there's a change in environment e.g. you go inside).

After a few weeks of life revolving round naps, I understood him better and was able to be flexible. At 8 months he still wants to nap after 2 hours but I can stretch this to 4 hours if I want to go out and it's not going to be easy to get him to nap on the go. As long as I'm not ignoring his optimal sleep needs every day or all day he copes well.

I hope that gives hope if anyone ever finds this thread when tearing their hair out!

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