SIX year old...I can take no more

[dogdaysareover]

DS is 6. He has always been an absolutely appalling sleeper. Co-slept for first 4 years because it was that or probably run my car off the road due to sleep deprivation. At 6 he is in his own bed, but he will not sleep without me in the room with him. Bedtime starts at 7pm with shower, wind down, a bit of Horrible Histories, reading etc. I put his sister to bed and then we listen to an audio book for a while. Then he thrashes about until 10pm, when, finally, exhausted, he usually falls alseep (although this performance has been known to go on until 11 or later). He is exhausted at school, snappy, irritable, sullen. I am also because I have realised for SIX years of my life I have not had an evening. I have not watched a film, a tv program, had a conversation past 8pm. It is affecting my marriage. I am so frustrated with the situation. Has anyone any advice? I am at the end of my six year tether.

[mawbroon]

Ds1 was a dreadful sleeper. Turned out he had undiagnosed tongue tie, high palate and narrow nostrils which were causing sleeping and breathing problems, amongst others.

Several weeks after starting orthodontic treatment, the snoring/thrashing/grinding/mouth breathing stopped and he could sleep normally. He turned into a different kid!

[puffylovett]

mawbroon how did you find out all of this? I also have an appalling sleeper, aged 8. He's exhausted today. Was vile at dinner at 6. And yet is STILL awake now :(

[mawbroon]

I had read on here about a link between tongue tie and reflux which started the ball rolling. Mainstream HCPs are. Woefully underinformed about this and after having been fobbed off all round, I finally found people who could help.

He has just turned 12 now. Every one of his long list of problems disappeared after tongue revision, orthodontics and osteopathy. If you advance search my posts, you will find much more detail

[lostforinspiration]

I've just seen this. My DD(9) has always had terrible trouble going to sleep. Since she was tiny it has taken her 2-3 hours to get to sleep. I have raised it a number of times and was always told 'children need different amounts of sleep' blah blah blah. DD has some behavioural issues, but she is very up and down and I have always thought chronic tiredness may be behind some of it. She has a tentative ASD diagnosis which I am getting a second opinion on because I don't think it is accurate. Anyway, last week we were in Italy. We saw some melatonin in a pharmacy and thought wth we'll try it. She has been on it a week and the difference is quite frankly astonishing. She is asleep in 10 mins, wakes up naturally, is not grumpy, has done loads of work at school and is like a different child. Obviously early days, and far be it from me to encourage off-piste exploration of drugs/supplements not available over the counter in the UK, but I am feeling like there is light at what has been a very long, dark, hard tunnel.

[differentnameforthis]

lostforinspiration Why don't you agree with the ASD dx?

Very common for children with ASD to have sleep disorders too.

[lostforinspiration]

It's very complicated, she's very complicated and presents a complex picture, very variable behaviour, paediatrician in very bad mood on the day, didn't seek the diagnosis etc etc, it's a very long story. And I have a lot of questions about ASD, for which this isn't the thread, but it seems to me that while it is common for children with ASD to have sleep disorders, chronic tiredness can also cause ASD-type behaviour. And I wonder about chickens and eggs.

[NoSquirrels]

It's aimed at younger child listen, but have you tried the audio version of The Rabbit Who Wanted To Go To Sleep? (Think that is the title!)

It's basically hypnosis. Tell him if he'll listen to the audio book you'll come in & check him again when it's finished...

Otherwise I'd second leaving alone with a night light and the expectation that he is quiet and doesn't disturb anyone.

Or melatonin.

[endofthelinefinally]

Is it possible to get melatonin online?

[differentnameforthis]

endofthelinefinally Yes, some use iherb, I use www.biovea.com/au/

[endofthelinefinally]

Op.
I would buy the melatonin online and use it.
Once you are getting sleep and a routine established you will be able to think more clearly about how to proceed.