Hello everyone. New user, long time lurker, looking for help please
First time dad, we need some help/advice and Im sure you've been asked this millions of times. We have an 8 week old little boy, who, during the day is good as gold, now, on our HV advice we started creating a "wind down" room, so darker room, no noise etc..and we take him here after his bath. This is normally between 6-7pm
Now he loves his baths sits there chilled as nothing splashing etc..we take him out into his nursery to get hime changed, as soon as we start putting his baby grow on him he starts to get restless, like he knows what is coming, we take him into our room where its dark with all intents and purposes to read him a story, give him some milk and let him drift off. Erm no.
Every.single.night for the past week, he just cries. And cries. And cries. and then as if by magic he'll stop crying after 25-30 minutes and go to sleep.
We are going out of our mind trying to work out what to do. Any help greatly appreciated.
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8 week old bath time/bedtime chaos
dan220282 · 20/07/2017 19:09
Not one I made up.... 
A mate's baby was mesmerised by it.... bath, bottle, bit of bouncing and techno and was out like a light!
Techno music
I'm not convinced about daily baths tbh, surely it dries out their skin? Plus it's a bit of a faff.
We had a bedtime routine by this age - one that has stayed the same more or less since (by 'routine'I definitely mean doing familiar comforting things around the same time every day to differentiate daytime and bedtime - not a rigid schedule) and that has always worked really well for us. But at the 8 week mark DDs bedtime routine started at 9.30ish and we were all in bed by 10! Then as she got older we just started edging it back guided by when she got tired in the evening, now at 7 months she is down by 6.30-7pm. The best advice I read though was to play around with different things and figure out what worked well for your baby and you - much like adults they're all individual. Just as some of people need a soothing bath and a nice cup of tea to wind down for bed, others like a good book and a glass (or 3) of wine..... the books all suggest the standard bath, book, boob/bottle, bed formula but your little one might be more techno music and yoga ball bouncing.... 
Wintertravel I'd argue that's not really self settling/self soothing though. It's supporting baby so they feel secure and able to sleep
Haha, great HV comment. My HV also told me that if my 3 months my baby couldn't self soothe I'd made a rod for my own back. I couldn't even get my baby to sleep anywhere but on my chest while breastfeeding let alone send himself off into a peaceful sleep in his cot by himself.
I spent months with ds asleep on my chest and as he was born in the winter and I was petrified of him suffocating he slept nice and snug while I froze every night. She still told me I was being very unsafe and made me sign a piece of paper to confirm she had told me that I was putting my baby's life in danger. That was a real high point 
Anyway he started sleeping through by himself when he was around 7/8 months and old enough to understand we hadn't abandoned him! 12 weeks is quite laughable.
Please don't trust every word they say. Like pp have said if your baby is not the kind who will happily be put down and doze off please don't force that upon them yet. The time will come, but they've been on the planet for a matter of weeks and right now they just need to know they're loved and secure.
Not all HVs know their stuff when it comes to babies. Many of them base it on 'the books' or even their own children - if you asked 10 different HVs the same questions about things like sleep I bet you'd get 10 different answers.
But you've shown on this thread that you know exactly what to do for your baby - ask around for advice, whether that's books, MN or the HV. Try something out. If it works, great, if it doesn't, try something else. Just keep doing that, but with your own instincts at the forefront and you'll be fine. And remember that hard and fast rules don't really work with babies... Self soothing at 12 weeks might have been great for your friend's baby (who sounds like she thrived on routine) but it may not work for your baby, who is a unique little person with their own style of doing things.
Essentially, your baby hasn't read the books
Good luck with your new baby Dan.
This coming year will probably be one of the steepest learning curve you'll ever experience. Enjoy the journey.
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