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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Controlled crying

39 replies

Haribolover · 06/09/2014 23:49

The time has come at 9 months for CC. We have issues with needing feeding or rocking to sleep and some nights multiple wake ups. Naps are dire too as won't go down in cot and it's feed to sleep or buggy/car.

My questions are:

do I do CC for going down or each wake up as well?
still doing a night feed, do I continue this and if so how do I ensure it's a wake up for hunger?
do I sort nights and then naps? Seems too much to do it all at once?

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Needzzzzs · 25/09/2014 21:27

Thanks Littlef00t. Did it work for you in the end then? How long did it take? Just need to get myself mentally prepared!

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Littlef00t · 25/09/2014 21:06

I always picked dd up briefly (less than 1 min) for the first few days and worked towards not, as a quick cuddle she appreciated and seemed to reset the crying sometimes. Once she was crying less I just sshhed and patted.

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Needzzzzs · 25/09/2014 19:04

I was BF but stopped a few weeks ago so he's not feeding back to sleep. I try getting him back off just by shushing & patting which occasionally works but usually after an hour of this I give up & pick him up. Early on in the evening he falls asleep straight away on my shoulder but when he wakes at 1 or 2am he takes ages to settle - sometimes upset & sometimes wanting to play.

I was thinking of trying CC just because he's taking so long to settle & I'm not sure my back can take walking him round for much longer now that he's heavy! Definitely won't be starting tonight though - poor little thing has just projectile vomited all over us both

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rootypig · 25/09/2014 18:39

Needzzzzs how does your DS get back to sleep at the moment? is he waking to feed? if so are you BF?

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Needzzzzs · 25/09/2014 15:12

Sorry to hijack thread - I'm thinking of trying cc with my 11 month old - he's waking all the time! Definitely not hungry as does sometimes sleep through (very rarely). Just wanted to ask for tips from those that have done it - I know when I go to him he will cry more if I don't pick him up - do you just leave the room again anyway? I'm worried about him crying for ages even if I am going in and out.

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Littlef00t · 15/09/2014 20:11

Yes haribolover! a few months ago once we got her to sleep at 7 we wouldn't hear a peep until the early hours. When that stopped I felt on tenderhooks all evening and night.

Hopefully it carries on! Away two nights this weekend at a wedding. Fingers crossed she doesn't wake unnecessarily as I don't want to subject the rest of the hotel to late night crying.

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Haribolover · 15/09/2014 10:37

Amazing Little. Makes so much difference not dreading each night.

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Littlef00t · 15/09/2014 08:13

Thought I'd update to say she only woke for her early night feed last night then woke at 6:30, so a week later she's gone from ending to be fed or settled 3/4 times to none woohoo!!

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Littlef00t · 12/09/2014 09:51

Really pleased for you haribolover! Sorry I hijacked your thread! I found it really strange as dd started sleeping better that I had modified her behaviour, but I guess we are doing it all the time.

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Haribolover · 12/09/2014 09:06

Success here. After 2 days she'll go to sleep after 10mons of moaning, not tears just grumbling and has also dropped the night feed. We might get one wake up but she'll go off again after a few minutes and sleeps until about 8am in the morning. I now just wish I had done this earlier as it was really testing our marriage the battles to get her to sleep.

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rootypig · 12/09/2014 02:14

That sounds great

She will always wake, by the way, we all rouse regularly in our sleep. She'll just get better at going straight into the next sleep cycle and you (and she) won't be aware of it.

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Littlef00t · 11/09/2014 07:53

Sorry if this is boring anyone, I'm finding it helpful to record the progress and it's here for anyone who does similar.

Last night I only had to go into to soothe once all night (plus early night feed) at 5am, and she went back to sleep within 15 mins after I went into her and just sssh patted (no water). She woke and soothed herself back to sleep several times over the evening and night, so still waking quite a lot.

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Littlef00t · 10/09/2014 16:58

Wise words - appreciate your input!

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rootypig · 10/09/2014 13:43

Thinking about it - last night sounds like it was good, if she self settles a few times and you feel like you're coping with the wake ups, then my instinct is always to be gentle and cautious. In your position, I probably would continue with the one feed for a while and see if she adjusts.

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rootypig · 10/09/2014 13:41

I don't know - I checked back and your LO is 6mo - we sleep trained at 10mo and so I was very confident that she wasn't hungry. I also differed slightly in that we kept the same number of feeds but reduced each one to almost nothing, iyswim, so that when it came to offering water she had essentially been having a few mouthfuls of milk twice a night (she woke every three hours like clockwork).

Only you can judge with your baby, one of the reasons we sleep trained later was because I simply didn't have the confidence to say she wasn't hungry at 6mo (DD is my PFB).

My advice has run out!

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Littlef00t · 10/09/2014 13:34

Well I was doing a dreamfeed at 10:30 and in the past that was enough to get her through to after 6am, so I was hesitant to drop all feeds at once as I thought she'd be hungry.

I gave up doing a proper dreamfeed a few weeks ago as I was so tired I couldn't stay up for it and started feeding her at her first waking after 10pm.

I was planning on dropping the early feed in about a week, once she's only had that and no other night feeds for about 10 days, but maybe you're right and that's why she doesn't self settle at every waking because she's hoping there might be food.

Last night was good, she woke at 8pm but cried/grumbled on and off for 30 mins and took herself back off to sleep. Fed at 10:30, 1:45 self settled, 4:45 cuddle then woke her at 7:15.

I'm thinking I might not pick up for a cuddle tonight and see if she'll go back to sleep with just a pat and ssh. She went straight to sleep after cuddle.

She's also eating loads now we've started weaning, so maybe dropping all night feeds is the way to go.

Rootypig what would you suggest if she wakes say 3/4/5 clearly hungry after dropping the early feed?

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rootypig · 09/09/2014 20:01

Glad you feel you're making progress! can I ask why you're feeding at 11.30? DD didn't stop waking for feeds until all night feeding was eliminated..... hope dies last, as my Czech friend says - they're optimistic little things!

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Littlef00t · 09/09/2014 10:21

Rootypig, thought I'd update, appreciated your input. Water was the devils work last night lol, she batted it out my hand so just gave her a quick cuddle and put her back to bed. She screamed blue murder but stopped suddenly when I left the room and I didn't have to resettle.

Sounds like your LO with a hating of cuddles etc.

She woke 8 (cuddle), 11:30 (fed), 2am (cuddle), 4:45 (cuddle), 5:45 (self settled)

Although this is waking loads, I didn't have to go back into settle after first time per waking all night so success in my book.

Roll on Tuesday night...

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rootypig · 08/09/2014 22:14

Fingers crossed. The theory behind CC is that you can't offer your child a substitute (cuddles, water) because that will become the sleep association. We didn't find that. DD had no interest in water, or in cuddles-!

For the people wondering about pick up / put down, we would just pick her up and hold her and walk around for a while. So it wasn't a jack in the box type thing. She would arch her back and struggle to get away when she'd had enough and wanted to lie down.

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Littlef00t · 08/09/2014 21:03

Thanks rootypig. Was impressed last night that we only had 20 mins of protest after 2oz of water when she normally has at least half a bf.

I'm hoping the fact she did protest after taking the water means she didn't particularly appreciate it and won't bother with it. Well we'll see how she is tonight. Made slightly more complicated by mild teething signs.

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Imeg · 08/09/2014 20:52

Just to say that we tried a similar method to the one holdthephone describes - repeated picking up and putting down. It really didn't work for us because he just got more and more distressed and agitated every time we did it, and he's done much better with CC (5/10/15 mins etc). Which is not to say that either method is right or wrong, just that different approaches suit different babies I think.

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rootypig · 08/09/2014 20:28

Littlef00t we did that - she was having two full feeds at 3 hour intervals in the night at 9 months. Madness. Over the course of a few weeks I reduced the amount that was in her bottle, because though I was confident she wasn't genuinely hungry, she certainly was used to it and I wanted to be gentle (technique: start the night with a goal e.g. at the beginning she was having 6 oz bottles. So I would make a 6 oz bottle and take it from her mouth every 2 oz. If she cried, I would let her have it - i.e. it was a no cry process - but often enough she would fall asleep after 4/5oz. So then the next night I would start with 5oz. And so on.) We got down to an oz / a couple of sucks after a few weeks, and then offered water. She didn't want that at all, so that's when she cried, and we held her, and after the mythical three nights she was sleeping through.

If your DD does like water (or the comfort sucking) and wakes up for it, then to bite the bullet you'll have to offer nothing.

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holdthephone · 08/09/2014 12:00

We kept going back after 1 minute- just picked him up and placed him down again if he was standing or just patted his back/ tummy if he was lying down. No talking at all. Before I was running in, feeding him, rocking him or putting Ewan on so it was quite a change but he took to it really well.

We did go past 1 minute if he was just making general noises and not proper crying. These tending to just turn to sleep anyway but sometimes he will start crying again and then it's back to the 1 min.

Good luck- it really, really helped us (I started a thread called 8 Month Sleep Hell!).

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Lucylooo · 08/09/2014 11:00

Holdthephone: did you keep going back after 1 min each time, or stretch it out at all? Thanks!

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Littlef00t · 08/09/2014 09:44

Anyone dropped night feed to sleep with offering water? Dd just 6mo was on just 1 feed at night but gone up to 3/4 as she wouldnt settle back to sleep without a feed.

Last night I offered water instead of bf and she took an ounce or two and cried for less than 20 mins before going back to sleep (I was popping in our comfort on a regular basis) each time.

Just wondering whether she will still wake if I'm giving water and I should stop with the water or whether she won't bother to wake if I'm not giving bm.