Baby will not sleep. She's had 12 hours in the past two days.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

DH and I are in despair. DD (7mo) has never been sleeping ttn but has been waking just a few times and usually resettling ok after a feed. Over the last couple of weeks things have got worse, and worse, and worse, and worse until last night we were awake from 1am till 6am trying to get her off.

By the book we have a good bedtime routine, bath, story, feed, sing. She used to settle herself after we sang to her but doesn't any more. I've been sat next to the cot for about two hours now trying to get her to nap. She has bags under her eyes and must be so overtired but she won't sleep. I've tried rocking her, white noise, singing, patting, shushing etc etc etc but she won't sleep. She just won't sleep.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Wow SoYo that's fantastic. Congrats :)

We've seen a dramatic improvement after using gripe water and I'm a little bit unsure what issue to tackle next. I want to get dd on formula, I want to night wean her and we need to improve naps. At the moment she's taking ages to feed in the evening by which point she barely stays awake for the gripe water. So gradual retreat will be the plan once she feeds quickly enough to still be awake when she's finished!

[SoYo]

Giraffes just in case you have decided to try something and are in the difficult bit at the start, last night was day 8 for us. Madam went to sleep in 5mins at 7.30, woke at 4.45 for a feed and then went back down until 7.30. She's never ever slept that long or stayed in her cot all night. I hope you're making progress and feeling ok!

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

You may well be right Swanhilda. Over the last few days I've decided it's some combination of gas and hunger. Whenever she's steadfastly refusing to sleep it seems to be that she needs food or farts. Gripe water is helping a lot but not enough!

[Swanhilda]

I wonder whether she is just having a growth spurt and needs to feed more frequently because of it? Maybe add more blw in too? Good luck. At that age my los were eating three meals and breastfeeding too, so it could be what is making her restless. Sometimes patterns change for an obvious reason, even if the reason is different in different babies! (earache/food/separation anxiety/teeth....all those reasons)

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

That's a very interesting thread SoYo!! Especially coinciding with the fact that earlier tonight I had to come up with a load of new things to sing (terrible rendition of Edelweiss, anyone?) as my current lullabies have become not just ineffective but now actually seem to make her cry, I think she has built up bad associations. So it would seem a good time to try something a bit different.

[SoYo]

hi Giraffes,

We've just had 3 weeks of this hell with our 7mo. She's always been fed to sleep fairly easily and had never self settled and then suddenly she wouldn't feed to sleep, was waking every 30mins for an hour and walking her up and down etc wasn't working. I'd resorted to co-sleeping but I couldn't sustain it as my back's knackered and I was waking up in agony.

I was getting really miserable and not coping so trawled the mumsnet archives and found this thread which is saving our sanity. We're taking it very gently and we're on night 3 and she went down in 10mins. Last night she had 2 wakes and didn't feed until 5.30 which is just amazing. I was completely convinced it wouldn't work on my baby as I've tried plenty of things in the past but its just like she was ready. It might not be the right thing for you but just in case it works I couldn't not mention it!

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Duende, it sounds horrible of me but I am hoping there will be something like that that the dr can find and fix. I can see myself bursting into tears if the words 'just a phase' get used.

[minipie]

yes it was pretty drastic but dd was screaming from overtiredness all evening (she was quite a bit younger than your dd) so it was either the long walks or screaming baby!

[duende]

Giraffes, could she have an ear infection maybe...? Hope you have a better day and a much better night tonight.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Wow that sounds drastic! We had planned a trip out today but got put off by the hurling rain.

Well DD slept on me until about 2 and then on and off in her cot the rest of the night. She won't stay asleep for long though whether in cot, pram or carseat. So I only got about 2 hours sleep when you add it all together, but DH has helped me catch up a bit today!
She's napping on me again now, in the 'do whatever it takes to make her nap' spirit. I'm going to take her to the dr tomorrow to rule out any physical causes for why she won't lie down.

Thank you all so much for the help and support!

[minipie]

oh poor you. it will be overtiredness pure and simple that is stopping her sleeping. and yes the more sleep you get into her the better it will get.

I agree with noblegiraffe that you need the big guns - motion motion motion. white noise and swaddling and nose stroking and even feeding to sleep are for when they're not overtired, they will not work at the moment IME.

I used to take multiple long walks a day whenever dd got overtired - i would walk for 1-2 hours at a time, 2 or 3 times a day - it would take her up to 30 mins to drop off (because she was fighting it) and I would then not dare stop at all (as she would wake) until she'd had at least an hour's nap. This was Not Fun especially in bad weather but it did work. It took a few days of this and then she would be much much better (for example she would not wake up when the pram stopped, so I could bring her home and park her in the hall). As a bonus I lost lots of weight too...

Can you try that? Safer than driving when you're tired and also more effective, since you don't have to stop the motion ever (if you need to wait to cross the road you can rock the pram while you wait) whereas a car needs to stop sometimes.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

God I'm tired, just saw this thread in active convos and thought 'oh wow, someone's in the same boat as us!'

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Thanks adagio will make a note of that! 3 hours and counting, unfortunately we're on the sofa but at least she's sleeping.

Noble, I wish feeding to sleep worked! She used to be pretty much out for the count after a night feed, but the last week she wakes again after 20 mins unless she's in my arms. I can't think of anything we changed...

Bumgrapes if the pushchair doesn't work I think we'll try that, thank you.

[BumgrapesofWrath]

Both mine have been terrible sleepers between 6 and 12 months!

Have you tried not trying? What we've started to do when DS2 wakes up, is I feed him (but he doesn't seem to feed to sleep anymore), and then DH goes and gets comfy with him on the sofa. They mostly watch documentaries! He will then fall asleep of his own accord after an hour.

We started doing this as actively trying to get him to sleep just wasn't working, and at least this way we can all relax (if we don't think too hard about what little sleep we're getting)

Another positive is DH can watch his boring documentaries without inflicting them on me. When I do sofa cuddles I get to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm in relative peace!

[noblegiraffe]

If you're breastfeeding, does feeding to sleep not work?

[adagio]

Thinking of you OP!

2 hours is great - based on 45min chunks she is now into number 3 and hopefully will stay asleep another hour before stirring again.

Hope you are on the bed or something to doze a bit x

another that has helped my sanity is classical lullabies for babies download on iTunes - 39 tracks, long playtime, Its running in the background now for me

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

help break the deadlock!

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

I've been breastfeeding every chance I get to try and make sure she's not hungry but it is a possibility- she was blw though so not that many solids were going in to begin with.

Magicstars- the neighbours would probably offer to take a turn pushing after the night we had last night!! We have tried singing to her. I am not sure if a droned, out of tune 'Twinkle, Twinkle' counts as music though so we could try something nicer, thanks for the tip.

We're two hours and counting into this sleep in my arms so I am desperately praying that will help the deadlock.

[magicstars]

The only way we ever got our over-tired dd off to sleep is with motion as she was always getting over tired and forcing herself not to sleep. It was relentless, I really feel for you
she is now 18months and will self settle in her cot at night with a light show which also plays music, but we still take her out in the pushchair or car for naps and probably will for as long as she needs to sleep during the day.
Have you read or watched happiest baby on the block? Good tips there.
If it will save you sanity, just take her out in the pushchair and try to ignore the 'rod for your own back' comments from nosy neighbours!
Have you tried music? We have a love/hate relationship with one nursery rhyme cd that dd adores, we have heard it so many times but it works wonders to settle her.

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Hmm might have a go at pram and/or co sleeping tonight then. She's fallen asleep on me now, we're 50 mins in and counting. The more she sleeps the less overtired she'll be and then things will get better, right?

[adagio]

I read somewhere (maybe here) that baby sleep cycle is about 45 minutes, and it seems to be true - if I get home at about 45 mins into a nap then no chance of transfer; 20 mins in can work (sometimes).

I second the walk in the pram - then park in hall approach; or co sleeping. In times of desperation I do find my sleep-breathing on her face keeps the baby asleep longer.

Oh and less PC - piriton syrup, perhaps a load of wine if you are BF

good luck and chin up x

[Andcake]

Ds was the same at round 6 mo. we broke it by DP sleeping in a different room and ds coming in the big bed with me for a few nights. Ds slept 8-6 without waking!
Just google safe co sleeping first

[GiraffesAndButterflies]

Really appreciating all the suggestions and solidarity by the way! Hope I don't sound dismissive it's just we really are reaching the end of our tether...