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Eating Disorders section

37 replies

IWishYouWould · 01/12/2013 21:50

Would it be possible to add this to the list of topics please? Those of us who are affected don't quite fall into other existing categories. Also there are so many variations of these conditions, that I feel having our own area would be beneficial to us. There are a lot of peple looking for support on MN, which is hard to find.

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RowanMumsnet · 28/03/2014 17:15
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RowanMumsnet · 16/12/2013 16:45

Hello there

No problem - we're happy to put it in Mental Health if that's where you think it would fit best.

We'll get on with this now - we'll try to have it up before Christmas if possible.

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DecorKateTheXmasTreeMumsnet · 16/12/2013 14:34

Thanks for this feedback - bare with us while we go back to the drawing board.

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IWishYouWould · 14/12/2013 17:25

Thank you MNHQ.
I also agree with the idea of this topic needing to be in Mental Health. This is where I looked too. But I think the most important point was raised above; that this is a sensitive subject that may attract more of the wrong kind or less helpful responses in General Health. I think those who venture into Mental Health are more likely to be aware of where these conditions really come from and give consideration to those struggles rather than the symptoms. To read repeated post about what we 'should do' re food and excercise etc from well meaning people, can be very demoralising and push someone further away. Being a sufferer, I also have no quams saying my condition is a mental health one.

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Hermione123 · 13/12/2013 19:45

I do agree with music although it does have health affects, it wouldn't have occurred to me to look for ed threads under general health and not mental health.

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musicposy · 13/12/2013 19:14

I don't know what others think but I wonder if it should be in mental health. I feel no stigma in saying it's a mental health issue and that would be the first place I would look.
I worry that general health will attract more people likely to make very unhelpful comments.
But I'm willing to be challenged on this by others!

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musicposy · 13/12/2013 19:10

If a poster made a helpful thread with suggested guidelines could that be stickied?
I'm just thinking that when I was first dealing with this issue I wouldn't have known that posting my weight could be triggering to others. Now I understand much better.
It would be a shame if the section became unhelpful to the very people who need it because people newly dealing with EDs know no different.

I agree that it only needs one topic. People can make separate support threads for adults, children, carers etc, as happens on lots of topics.

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RowanMumsnet · 13/12/2013 11:09

Hello

We've had a think about this and we're happy to open an Eating Disorders topic, probably in the Health section. We would stick to just one topic though (ie not separate topics for adults and teenagers/children).

While we do understand why some of you would like us to have particular guidelines specifically for that topic, that's not really the way we do things - we don't set up special Guidelines for individual topics. But as ever, we'd be very happy to have a careful look at any reports about posts or threads that you think are inappropriate and not meeting our general aim to make parents' lives easier.

Does that sound about right?

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musicposy · 13/12/2013 00:15

I'm trying to recover from anorexia at the moment (at age 46 after years and years of normal eating so it just shows it can affect anyone). I would find it very helpful to have a section on here as it's hard to find other sufferers particularly anywhere near my age and it would be nice to chat/ get support.

I think as MN is less moderated than most there would need to be a reminder at the top of the thread not to post specific weights (as there is about AIBU not being a fight club).

When I post anything about myself the most I say is that I'm anorexic or underweight - I don't post my actual weight or BMI as I know this can be triggering to others and also know how when you have an ED, you leap on any kind of competition and take it as a challenge.

There's also the issue I sometimes find in my group sessions that getting together with other anorexics can teach you how to be a more effective anorexic! So I think a section would need to be handled carefully, asking people to be mindful of what they say. But within guidelines, I think it would be very useful.

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StolenStollen · 04/12/2013 18:09

She's my only child. It's complicated - exh was abusive, had to Leave in the night and have neverr trusted a man again.
I wanted another child but not possible I'm afraid.
I'll look on b-eat, she has access to the internet, any good sites for her?
It isn't easy doing this alone, its not easy anyway though.
I'm going to see her later, I need to arrange to see her doctor in charge.

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IWishYouWould · 04/12/2013 17:00

Stolen, Im sorry your feeling like you do. I second the post about hiding and secrecy. It's amazing and worrying at the same time how good we become at it. My family only realised when someone spotting me chucking food away. She reported it and the school checked to see what if anything was going on. Before that not a sole knew for a long time. I do hope we can get this section sorted some how, for family members like yourself, as well as the individuals. Perhaps you could come over to mental health and start a thread for the time being. As I mentioned bulemia isn't something I have experience of, but anorexia and over eating I do. I'd be more than happy to offer support where ever I could.

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OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 04/12/2013 16:35

I'm glad that she is receiving good care, the support available now is so much better than it was, even if it is still quite taboo.

Just attribute jokes to gallows humour. They are good. They signify hope.

I assume you have already been pointed to B-Eat, they are brilliant, do you have any other dc? They may find iot helpful to look at it/speak to someone too. It's also very, very tough on the people who love the ED sufferer, make sure you have support too.

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StolenStollen · 04/12/2013 16:27

She's ok, I'm very glad she's getting very good care. (We are in Manchester, she's in the ed unit attached to the children's hospital).
She's made some jokes that disturbed me but if that's ok good.
She will get better, its just a long road ahead.

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bootsycollins · 04/12/2013 16:07

I hope your daughter is ok stolen Thanks. My 16 year old dd has been resident in an ED unit for 5 months, she has anorexia. It would be good to have a caring for somebody with an ED section.

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OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 04/12/2013 15:59

Stolen, I understand how helpless you feel, but try to remember - its not about your parenting, or even just about how she looks. EDs are rooted in control and secrecy. We are fucking geniuses when it comes to hiding it. We could work for MI5, or the mafia. And we will never be content with our weight, lives or appearance because that's not really what we want to control.

There's very little you could have done.

Oh, and don't be surprised if she makes some v innappropriate jokes. My db was on that 5:2 diet and I was offering to give him fasting tips. He was horified, I thought it was hilarious.

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StolenStollen · 04/12/2013 15:17

Thanks Iwish. I didn't notice until it was too late tbh. I wish DD had voiced her concerns about her body and I'd have helped her, she didn't need to turn to an eating disorder to feel better about herself.
I don't want another parent to feel as shit as I did when DD finally told me, I'd like to help people help there children.

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revivingshower · 04/12/2013 11:53

I have been trying to support someone on their thread about recovering, I don't know much about it or the right thing to say, but I can see having a support thread would be a big help to people. When I read about this persons case I was going to say go on a proper recovery forum but when I googled for one it was hard to find anything. I think if you were a bit down anyway you might find it hard to search so it would be great to at least provide some easy to use links so people can find something easily.

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OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 04/12/2013 10:52

Iwish, I didn't realise that there was a support thread already running. I could do with taking a look at it tbh.

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IWishYouWould · 04/12/2013 10:28

Stolen, I'm sorry to hear about your DD. I can't offer specific advice on bulemia. But I can say that from reading your post, the fact your looking for help and advice for her and yourself is really great. Knowing your there for her and she is loved will help her. Obviously it won't make it go away, but having this absent as a teen made my situation far worse. I wish you and your family the best on this hard journey. Thanks

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IWishYouWould · 04/12/2013 10:23

I'm glad people have seen the request. This topic touches so many people, not only those who have a condition. I totally agree that there would need to be guidelines too, to prevent anyone being drawn into a thread for competitive reasons. But as mentioned other posters can be very good at pointing out unhelpful and unnecessary info.
With regards to using the OTBT, I can see the benefits of it not being in daily chat. but I can also see the drawbacks to this. My initial reaction being it could be hard for people to find the topic?
Its obviously a sensitive subject for us all, but I honestly believe that not having somewhere for specific support right now, is far more damaging. I have started a thread in mental health and there are a few of us there now, all needing help for one particular eating disorder. It hust made me wonder how many others are looking for the help and advice. Thanks MNHQ for considering this.

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RowanMumsnet · 04/12/2013 09:34

Thanks for all the feedback; we'll have a look into this.

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DeepThought · 04/12/2013 08:40

You can hide topics through the My Mumsnet clicker above ^^

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DeepThought · 04/12/2013 08:28

You can hide topics through the My Mumsnet clicker above ^^

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DeepThought · 04/12/2013 08:26

The Hide Topic option is great

I think an ED topic would be very helpful, a yes from me

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3asAbird · 04/12/2013 08:19

I did look at something fishy its usa site and wont accept hotmail or gmail email addresses so havent registered yet as would need to set up new email.

shame mumsnet couldnt have option on personal profile of hiding specific sections that people dont use or want to see.

Maybe im mad but i hate really sad news stories involving kids so try and avoid those posts.

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