sex injuries

[Mirabellelle]

(NC for this and posted in Chat, which caused people to be rather distrusting, so trying again here)

My hips are really sore today and I blamed my high-heeled shoes. Then I remembered I decided last night to try folding myself double during sex, which probably caused said hip painAnyone else got a sex injury story to share?

[Bluewombler2k]

I managed to bend (permanently) DH's penis during our honeymoon well he reckons I did it He is now recovering from the op (it's a recognised condition called Peyronie's Disease) and we can't dtd for another 6 weeks. Poor sod.

[SausageSmuggler]

I have a scar on one of my knees after a particularly bad carpet burn. Quite tame compared to some on here!

[Kittencatkins123]

One new year I was completely hammered and decided to give my (now ex) BF a sexy dance (kill me now) climbed on top of him and faceplanted into the wall, breaking my front tooth. Not sexy and fucking expensive paying for a crown

And I've had a few snapped banjo incidents

[pineappleeyes]

Exp's penis slipped out and banged my bum. It was complete agony we had to stop and an ambulance was nearly called. I was bruised for about a week

[AnecdotalEvidence]

that made me laugh Littleparrot

[Littleparrot]

Oh god have remembered another. He decided it would be fun for me to bend over the back of the armchair, he then lifted my legs and the chair tipped backwards and slipped across the wooden floor so we ended up in a tangle on the floor, That one really hurt

[StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine]

I have seemingly permanent nerve damage from the folding double thing!

(annoyingly)

[2nds]

All these torn foreskins yikes!

[2nds]

I've Been walked in on a few times but I don't ever remember getting injured lol.

[Littleparrot]

I have had a few unfortunate accidents. Ripping my boyfriends foreskin while visiting his parents. First time I had met them as they were 200 miles away, his mum thought he had taken my Virginity due to thr blood all over the sheets.

Trying a little wax play after the kids had gone to bed, had taken my contacts out and was using a a really big candle. Thought a drip of wax would fall onto his balls but it was in fact a large pool. He leapt up threwing me across the room and was leaping about clutching his burning bits but managing not to make any squeals in case it woke kids ... My hero

My worst was years ago when I was with a guy who had a bit of a food fetish, custard bath, choc spread etc. We were staying in a very nice hotel when he has the idea of filling me with strawberries and so they would squidge around his cock as we did the deed. So we bought a huge punnet ready for the evening. Ended up with me full of compacted strawberries going hysterical in the bath with him trying to pull them out, the most embarrassing and unsexy end to an evening ever.

Probably have a few more!

[Smorgasboard]

Share away as you wish, each to their own. Was merely being skeptical about motivation behind getting people to share intimate details for no perceived help with anything. Obviously, you've all proved there is a call for it. Mea culpa, enjoy!

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

Ooh pocket these days I kneel gently to stop my knees creaking, and always on a big fluffy pillow.

[PurpleRibbons]

I once fell backwards whilst having sex standing up and tore the poor lad's foreskin!

[pocketsaviour]

I am currently sporting a pair of bruised knees caused by dropping rather too abruptly (and dramatically) into a kneeling position to give a fella a BJ. Next time I'll just kneel down like a normal person

[Hurryhurryhurry]

That happens to me too baboo Really annoying as the next time we have sex is really painful and I have to stop!

[BabooshkaKate]

I only ever have boring sex injuries - my perineum rips open quite frequently :(

[Toffeelatteplease]

It was actually the second coil that hadn't stayed in place so gave up at that point.

[Hurryhurryhurry]

toffee I had to have the coil removed as it stabbed dh mid coitus and he was too scared to come near me again!
Turns out it had actually slipped down

[MangoMoon]

Happy, I must have read the same article!

My trademark blowjob technique back in the day was a hot & cold one.
Alternating between an ice lolly & a cup of coffee

[whojamaflip]

Worst was as the result of an impromptu shag in a field of standing grass - had gone out to see dh mowing said field and we got down and dirty in uncut part. Decided to go on my knees with my face on the ground - cue an allergic reaction to the grass which left me with an angry red rash almost like a burn over one side of my face - took nearly a week to calm down and had loads of people asking what on earth I had done

[DoloresVanCartier]

Years ago with an exDP I was visiting him at his dad and girlfriends house, we had all been out and when we got in decided to have a couple of wines in the house, then DP was not too happy as he wanted to go upstairs, I pointedly ignored him and ended up getting rat arsed with his dad and gf but thought after about 2 hours I better head up. Worried about being in the bad books I sauntered sexily in the room as he looked at me over his book, undressed "sexily" I thought, and started to crawl up the bed licking my lips, I suddenly lost my balance and started to fall backwards grabbing the quilt as if it was a rope but still managed to fall off the bed backwards, landing on my back, thumped myself in the face with my drunken flailing arms causing a nose bleed and basically looked like a dying fly. He was pissing himself laughing as I was trying to get up when his dad and his gf ran in after hearing the thud and finding me bollock naked, bleeding nose and saying "your not getting a BJ now!"

[HappyHippyChick]

Once when I was very drunk I remembered a Cosmo sex tip about taking a swig of a warm drink whilst giving a bj. Took a big gulp of very hot tea... DH was not happy!

[LuluJakey1]

smorgasbord bugger off out of the sex topic then. You don't need to read it. Go somewhere else where you won't expect to read about sex- ie a Topic that is not titled Sex

[YokoWakarimasen]

I ripped the cartilage in my knee after vigorous bouncing during sex in the bath once. Took months to heal. Was still worth it!

[flowerpower10]

Wow we chat about vaginas pooh sick pregnancy but sex is off limits seems odd that well it is one of the most natural things in the world just like birth eating breathing I vote not to bash people for asking Questions if it offends just skip to the next thread