A Levels in 15 months?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Bit of background dd is 17 and should be in Year 12. She didn't quite get the grades for her school sixth form and didn't settle in an alternative school back in September. She's ASD and suffers with anxiety and has been trying to return to this new school since September. Today she finally managed it.

However, not surprisingly they have said it's too late to catch up to do A levels next summer and they recommend she re-starts in September. It's a great opportunity as she will be able to try various subjects in the summer term.

However - it's a hard no from dd. This only happened today so she may need time to process it and perhaps come round to the idea. But what she wants is to do A Levels next summer like her friends. I have reassured her that she's not alone, people sometimes have a Plan B (myself included, I repeated Year 10 due to moving around) but she just won't hear it.

I have started to look into private tutorial colleges, tutoring etc. Bearing in mind that the summer term is largely taken up with exams and then there is a long summer holiday (this is a private school so they finish early July), is it possible that dd could use this time to be working?

She's not sure on subjects - probably Psychology and she also wanted Sociology but this particular school don't offer it.

I’ve been through A levels with 2dc and I think the advice you have been given is correct. It IS too late to catch up in order to achieve full potential. There will have been too much of the syllabus missed. If she is really determined she can try but the results may not do her justice. She could then resit to try to improve grades, I suppose. It depends what she wants to do after leaving school and how important A level grades are to her future plans.

Some exams start in May, Y12 will have by now covered the main bulk of the first year content, some doing mocks after Easter, often whole syllabus will be already finished in 12 months time or less to allow for revision and exam practice. Unless your child is a high flyer independent learner and self motivated I think they would be setting up to fail if they just pick up now. But then again if remaining in cohort is more important than grades they can just go along and resit if necessary the following year, depending on ambitions and plans beyond as pp said. Some might go to uni, others may take a gap year to travel/ work and save/ resit so at some point she will have to decide her own path.

As an A level teacher for a long time, I honestly think that she would struggle.

My year 12 students will have completed the course by February of y13, and will then be revising - but the other half won't be complete until Easter of y13.

It's asking a lot of someone to try to do it in less time.

@bendmeoverbackwards
I have a DD who always says a hard no to everything and is ND.
I tend to do what you are doing now with tutors etc. Always trying to plan and make things work..give her options etc..
But I want to say to you "stop "
When you know its not achievable, then don't try and find solutions to please her.
Let her learn "no".
It doesn't have to cone from you.
Just play along and let the school say what they would say. Just say to her " I know this is what you want but it's not up to me to grant this".

Restart in sep is a great idea.
I am begging my y12 DD to do the same.
She MAY agree when she blows her y12 exams or even doesn't sit them and has nothing to apply to uni with.
It's bloody hard but we cannot solve everything...
Xx

Thank you, as adults we can all see the benefits of starting properly in September (and much less stressful) but the problem is convincing her.

We’ve already had ‘I’ve got no future, I may as well kill myself’ this evening.

I just had this idea that with 8 weeks of the summer term plus another 8 weeks of summer holiday, this time could be used studying with tutors?

@DarkChocHolic I can totally see the common sense in your post. I know I’ve made a rod for my own back with dd, always stepping in to try and fix everything. She’s way too dependent on me.

@bendmeoverbackwards
My DD still thinks she is going to get a uni space for 2025. She doesn't even have a course in mind yet.
I know it's not happening but I don't say it aloud anymore ( I would previously)
Some things are left unsaid. They will figure it out in their own time and their own way.
Lessons of life sadly!
You have complete solidarity from me.
Xx

Your comment struck a chord with me as I do so much for my ND son. He is year 7 currently, but I am in constant communication with his school about anything and everything - not typical for secondary - and I am conscious that I could be stifling his development and resilience (which appears to be a swear word in the ND community).

But I often wonder, where would our kids be if we hadn't done this for them? I hear so much about autistic burnout and kids that can't attend school. My niece went through this and was barely in school for years 10 and 11 and only sat 2 GCSEs - she was bright and expected to do really well until everything fell apart around her. She is still suffering from the trauma and whilst she is at college and her attendance is much better than it was for school, it is by no means a walk in the oark for her or her parents.

So we may worry we're not enabling our kids to become indepenent and able to cope with rules/rejection/the real world etc, but things could potentially have been even worse if we hadn't. If their mental health is (relatively) in tact and they have some qualifications behind them then we're winning. I get the "I might as well be dead" comments all the time from my son - his typical one is "if I have to go to school for the next 5 years I might as well kill myself now". Personally, I think it is just his way of expressing how strongly he feels about school, he has also on occasion made statements such as "school is not so bad" (which made me weep with joy inside!).

I hope your daughter finds the best path for her and doesn't cause you too much grief getting there. And it sounds to be like you have done a fantastic job this far.

Hey @bendmeoverbackwards I think I have seen your posts before?

I tutor and bc of my subject (MFL) they are often students who are out of education. A few years ago I worked with a student who started with me about this time of year 12 (in effect) planning to take the A level the following summer. The thing was tho, the student had lived in a country where that language was spoken, and also had worked their way through a good deal of the first year course. We had to revise as they had no one to check their work or push them forward, but we were not going from a standing start.

They were ready for the exams with from memory, 1.5 - 2 hours of tutoring a week - so not loads, but as I say, they were effectively not miles from where any year 12 student would have been.

Genuinely, I think even with intensive tutoring, it would be a real challenge to do the A level in 15 months. And anyway it's not 15 months, is it? A level exams will start in early-ish May 2025 which is about 13 months away. It's not feasible I don't think and she needs to accept that.

@SuperSue77
I completely get what you mean. The struggles with autistic burnout and the school triggers are absolutely real and need a lot of support from the parents towards the child.
I am going through the same as my daughter is facing burnout from school and we have attendance hovering at less then 50 percent in y12.
My two pence is that there are some things we should absolutely throw ourselves to support and some things where we just have to let life takes it course just because they simply aren't able to accept of listen to anyone else (black and white thinking).

Being in y7, I would do exactly what you are doing for your child. Be their advocate, makes things easier for them, hand hold a lot more etc.
I still do a lot of this for my 16 year old. However, I also think I need to let her reflect on some things that are impossible for even me to advocate on her behalf. Whilst I have negotiated reduced time table, rest breaks, home work breaks etc for her even in y12 there is no way she is going to ace all her exams to land a uni offer in 2025. That is something she has to realise and the more I keep stepping in with support of tutors, fighting with school, the harder the process becomes.
Xx

@DarkChocHolic thanks for the reassurance about what I’m doing. I did have someone who has written a book about supporting your autistic teen at secondary tell me I ought to back off and leave it to school, but I think that if I had, he wouldn’t have half as much in place to support him now as he has.

I completely agree about them needing to face up to facts at some stage - I had to explain to my son that the likelihood of him becoming a professional footballer when he’s older are negotiable to zero - he told me I had shattered his dreams :-( But that was one belief that we couldn’t let him continue.

Good luck with your daughter. x

@DarkChocHolic and @SuperSue77 thank you for sharing your stories of your ND dc, it’s so tough sometimes isn’t it?

My dd is still saying she HAS to sit A levels next year and apparently it HAS to be this school (because this is what she’s told her friends). Very inflexible black and white thinking. I feel sorry for her because it took a huge amount of courage to go into school yesterday and now’s she’s had this blow that it’s too late for this year. No matter how many times I reassure her that it’s not that uncommon to be out of year group and her friends would be supportive, she just won’t listen.

@bendmeoverbackwards
She probably isn't able to accept the situation she is in. That's why it's so hard for her to let go.

What does she want to do after A levels? Would talking through that with her help?
Does she want to go to uni in which case most y12s have exams in June which they need for predicted grades for applying to uni.
Does your daughter need an A level pass? I appreciate its a lot of money if she went to an indie and didn't even pass.

In my DDs case, talking about the future plans and routes to get to them is a huge trigger so I appreciate how hard this is.

My husband and I are starting to accept that she may stay at current school and leave with no qualifications next year owing to anxiety of exams.
She can then work for a year, and if still interested in further education, look at an access course from 19.
There is also the option of doing reduced papers by staying with this cohort until they leave and then do the other papers for an extra year.
Of course, my DD doesn't know all this as she would laugh in my face 😒

No it won't be possible..

But there are other options. She could start in Sept and still be at same school arms see friends.

Or have you looked at other options. There are 2 year Btecs or whatever they are called now where the load is spread throughout the year and this is much less pressure on the final exam (and more like many unis tbh).

When I was at school, I was very sick October to January and missed school. I was at a top grammar so they refused to let me sit my A Levels in the summer. I had to restart year 12, watching my friends in year 13 apply to university etc. I am sure I have some mental trauma from it but it also gave me a resilience and drive I can’t even quantify.

I did get 4 A*s and got into Cambridge. I’m now reasonably successful I suppose, depends how you quantify success.

Point is, things happen and it’s not the end of the world. I didn’t realise how different things would be when I went to uni - the differences in ages - the ones who went travelling, one who deferred as her brother died, ones who just needed a break etc. she will find this out herself in the future but just take the break and start fresh next year. Use this time to get ahead.

Thank you all for your helpful replies.

Dd is still adamant on staying in year group and I’m wondering whether to give her a chance to at least start the process. If it doesn’t work out, then she can restart and hasn’t lost anything.

It’s taken her time and a huge amount of courage to be in the mindset to be ready to learn. If that time is now for her, I don’t think it would be a good idea to wait till September to start properly.

@DarkChocHolic no career plans as of yet. She likes the idea of university but no idea of a course yet.

What's she been doing since September?

If she started the A-levels and did a term, albeit with a different school and possibly exam board, then, if she is a hard worker, was doing reasonably in them, and has only missed some of the year, then with tutoring I'd say there is a reasonable chance she can catch up.

If she hasn't done any academic work on the subjects since she finished GCSEs then I'd say not a chance.
Put it this way:
A level work really takes place over year 12 and not more than the winter term and part of the spring ideally, call it 4.5 terms of work.
Her starting from scratch now means she has realistically missed nearly half the course. She's going to be going into a group that has adjusted to the A-level volume and difficulty of work, which for some can be a shock. They've already done nearly half the course.
She is going to have to not just get back into the mental state of learning, depending on the subjects she may need to revise some of her GCSE work that they need, she's going to be dropped into the middle of lessons that she doesn't know the background of, and she's got half the course to do on her own.

And I'd guess, if she failed to get the grades, that she might be towards the bottom end of the class all things being equal too. That obviously might not be the case, but it has to be considered.

It's not fair on her teacher, it's not fair on her classmates and above all it isn't fair on her. It's setting her up to fail.

The thing with A Levels is that for many subjects you need a lot of practice and it is too draining to write, say, 3 essays a week when really they should be spread out, every other week, over two years. It takes time for things to sink in and to learn not only the content but also the exam skills. I teach A Level and it’s not really possible to do well in 15 months.

Had v similar situation with dd, didn’t get grades for gcse, due to serious health problems, walked out of the college as she said it was for idiots, secretly I agreed, got a tutor for home for 8 hours a week, plus the work she set her as homework, went to a different school for A levels, sociology and psychology, now at university, she’s still a year behind her friends but as she’s got older, 21 now, she realises it was for the best.
not easy but I am the same I want to fix everything for her
she did get a pt job as well which really helped her

@MargaretThursday thank you for your honest post and I am under no illusion how tough A levels are. It’s just so hard persuading my dd. It’s like the more I (or anyone else) says no, the more she digs her heels in. Which is why I’m wondering whether to let her have a go and let her realise herself it’s not a good idea. Sometimes they need to fail. I just don’t know 🤷‍♀️

@141mum
was the tutor for GCSE or A level? Did she just do 2 A levels, Sociology and Psychology?

Just for reference, this year the first sociology exam is 14th May, and the first psychology exam is 17th May. So really you're looking at 13 months to get through the whole syllabus and allow a tiny bit of time for revision and practice of papers that require knowledge of the whole course.

And that's if you start in the next two weeks, which may not be possible, given you've got to find tutors your DD will work with, and who are willing and able to take on new clients. It can be hard to find tutors to teach the whole course, rather than just doing an hour a week as additional support.

I do think if she were maybe only doing two subjects, it may be possible, and if she is genuinely committed to the idea of working with a tutor over most of the summer months, I agree she will gain some of the time she's lost. But equally, over the summer, won't she want to be out doing things with her friends? I don't think she would get A grades, but equally I do think if she were genuinely committed with the right tutors, it would be possible to achieve maybe around a C grade if she is naturally able. But two Cs at A-level won't get her into the first year of an undergraduate degree either.

It does depend a bit on how much money you are willing to throw at this, because 4 hours a week (for example) of A-level tutoring per subject won't necessarily come cheaply, plus obviously the costs of paying for exams etc.

FWIW, the summer term of Y12 where I work isn't mostly taken up with exams and students are generally starting A2 content at some point this term. They will sit end of Y12 exams, but that's not the main focus of the term.

Good post @Postapocalypticcowgirl summed it up really well.

I agree btw wrt a tutor to teach the whole A level. I do that (not sociology!) but not very often (more usually GCSE which is less intense) and it's quite an undertaking. A tutor teaching the whole A level from scratch in a year would probably not be able to do very much else in tutoring terms (esp if they were a FT or even PT teacher) so they might not be keen (if it meant dropping longer-term clients, for example).

for both sets of exams, she did 2 A levals and 1 btech, this was enough ucas points for university, sit and work out the ucas points, if you can x