RE remark - missed 9 by 1 mark

[Darbs76]

Ds2 did his RE exam one year early, as did the whole school. He was predicted an 8, got a 9 in mock (based on the previous year marking) and got an 8 yesterday. I was absolutely delighted but my heart sunk as I knew he wouldn’t be happy with that. Why does he put so much pressure on himself? His Dad and I have never put pressure on him, he did so much revision, the PS4 was redundant for weeks and he couldn’t have tried harder.

So we have asked school about a review and they agreed as 1 mark off. What is the likelihood? He is aware it could go down, but he would need to drop by around 20 Marks by the looks of it for that to happen.

We are trying to speak to him already about expectations for next year, how all 9’s is unrealistic and ultimately in about 10yrs time no-one will even care what grades he got, certainly no-one would question if he had 8’s or 9’s. That said I’d love him to get a few 9’s.

Just venting really as I really hate this new numbering - a B for example is now a 6 which doesn’t sound anywhere near as good. Why the 9? As if A star wasn’t high enough without a strong A star being introduced. It really piles on the pressure for kids like mine.

Thanks for listening

[shitpark]

I would do it.

[MaudBaileysGreenTurban]

Good luck with it, OP.

We're going for re-marks/reviews in Double Science (he got 4/3, 1 mark off a 4/4 and really wants that science 'standard pass' if at all possible) and in Spanish, where he was 2 marks under a 7. His school recommended both reviews.

I am sceptical about any possible change in the mark but see no reason not to give it a shot. Nothing to lose.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

There is a lot here that is contradictory.

How can you say his parents aren't putting any pressure on him when he is being paid for certain grades? You then say he isn't motivated by the money - which begs the question why do you do it? Surely it's teaching him that you believe certain grades are more worthy than others. As well as rewarding certain grades, you then asked school about a remark - for achieving an 8 in
something he was predicted an 8 in anyway.

You say you absolutely aren't pushy parents but I think the above will definitely be affecting how he feels. You're saying to him oh an 8 is fine and you're proud, but that is totally contradictory to what you are doing.

I also don't understand how you can say he isn't a perfectionist after describing him as absolutely a perfectionist. An 8 isn't good enough for him to the extent he will pay £50 of his own money, but he isn't a perfectionist?!

I think this would have been an ideal opportunity for you to help him reduce the amount of pressure he puts on himself, by your actions not just your words. I can't see this as a win situation either way - he doesn't get the 9 and he is disappointed and feels he has let you/himself down. He does get the 9 and will be looking for any opportunity for remarks in the future, the grades he gets won't be good enough at first glance...unless they are, literally, perfect.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

I just feel strongly about this after seeing some of the DC at school on results day, one of my DS's friends was crying over an 8. She had thrown up before the exam and spent the whole exam period in tears pretty much. Her parents promised her £200 for each 9 she got whilst laughing about how much pressure she put on herself and how "determined" she was

This is GCSEs and DC need to learn about life and how to handle situations, and emotional resilience (bit of a cliche, I know, I'm sorry!) not just equations and formulas etc. I saw parents filming their DC opening their envelopes, FFS.

[Darbs76]

RE teacher has reviewed papers and said ‘let’s start with paper 2’. We have made it clear to DS2 we will pay for one paper to be reviewed and no more. I’m not sure if you can just keep submitting reviews anyway if one paper doesn’t make the grade increase.

For the poster who said about discussing expectations, we have done that. We have told him time and time again an 8 is great. And that’s what his expected grade was. He does have some 9’s predicted for next year and if he works hard he will hopefully get them. But 9’s across the piece is very rare (one girl in his school got 10 9’s and 1 7!)

[iMatter]

Is he hoping for all 9s next year?

You really need to work on managing his expectations.

[howwudufeel]

imatter The OP has said several times she has spoken to her DS about expectations. She sounds completely sensible but carry on ripping her to pieces if it makes you feel better.

[iMatter]

I'm hardly "ripping her to pieces" @howwudufeel 🙄

So many children put so much pressure on themselves to achieve top grades in every subject when those grades are only achieved by a tiny minority with the new GCSEs.

I would hate to think anyone's child thought they were a failure for getting less than 9s.

[howwudufeel]

iMatter Yes you are. You think you can parent the OP’s DS better than she can.

[iMatter]

Don't be so ridiculous

[howwudufeel]

I’m not being ridiculous. People like you ruin mumsnet.

[MonChatEstMagnifique]

OP, you sound like you've got the balance of being supportive but not putting pressure on your son just right. Of course you should get a remark if he's one mark off a 9. No, it won't matter long term but if he has achieved enough marks to get a 9, then he deserves to be awarded that 9.

Some children have high standards and expectations of themselves, it doesn't always come from parents or the school. Just keep doing what you're doing, reassuring him that his best is good enough but it sounds like he's a clever boy who wants to push himself and there's nothing wrong with that if he's coping.

[Ligresa]

I think imatter has a point. Saying she's 'ruining mumsnet' IS ridiculous.

[howwudufeel]

It’s the low level sniping that it ruining the place. iMatters post is an excellent example of that.

[Abracad]

8 versus 9 could make a different for some Uni applications. Personally if the teacher thinks there is scope for the extra mark, I’d do it.

[Ligresa]

But we can't constantly agree with what everyone does surely?

The OP IS putting pressure on her ds to achieve 9s. I can fully believe that it doesn't actually feel like that to her and she really does think she is helping him. Some people agree. Some people think that by giving money and encouraging a remark then she is subconsciously reinforcing the belief that an 8 isn't good enough.

[Ligresa]

8 versus 9 could make a different for some Uni applications

Rubbish.

[LimitIsUp]

We didn't go for a remark when 1 mark off. I think he needs to learn that this is good enough (better than good enough) and not quest for constant perfection. Perfectionism isn't great for mental health

[LimitIsUp]

That is indeed rubbish re 8 v 9 making a difference for some university applications

[Ineverwinthelottery]

If 8s don’t make any difference to a Uni application then why do 9s exist- just saying!

[Hoghgyni]

So that they can put in a 10 in a few years, in the same way as they invented the A* when too many grade As were being dished out like sweeties!

[ChangeItChild]

It would be a shame to miss out on a 9 for just 1 mark, I'd definitely be getting a remark, just in case. Even though an 8 is amazing.

If they do find the extra mark, you get your £55 ,remark fee, refunded.

[LimitIsUp]

Why do they exist? It's a moot question to which is the answer is "for no good reason". Even Oxbridge aren't going to sniff at grade 8s in their selection process. Most commentators haven't worked out why this distinction is needed yet

[Ligresa]

The only advantage i can see with 9s is that you have a good idea that they will cope well at A level. Being one mark off does the same job.

[Ineverwinthelottery]

But looking at last years A grade boundaries they are very similar to this years grade 9s therefore for Oxbridge where A GCSEs do count surely the applicant with 9s will take precedence over an applicant with 8s if it came down to looking at the GCSEs .
I know they say the exams are supposedly now harder but the boundary for a 9 still sitting at where the A was so it should be achievable by those students able to attain A iyswim.